


Rush Ahead

by misto713



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Action & Romance, Biting, Dom/sub, F/M, Feelings, Romance, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-13
Updated: 2015-10-02
Packaged: 2018-03-22 18:17:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 31
Words: 79,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3738592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misto713/pseuds/misto713
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Apostate. That was not how Evelyn imagined her life would go, but she couldn’t really complain. The only serious problem she faced now was how to earn enough coin to keep herself fed. But hey, being a mercenary couldn’t be that hard, right? F!Mage!Trevelyan joins the Bull’s Chargers. Pre-Inquisition, slow-burn romance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The knock on his door was… strange to hear in these human lands. Confident, but polite, with just the right amount of strength to catch attention without catching _too much_ attention. No hint of fear or hesitation. Who in this pathetic mess of a country had control like that?

The Iron Bull lifted his head from another Ben-Hassrath report to look at the door, but it was Hissrad’s carefully manipulated voice that called out to the person outside, “Come in!” he boomed loudly. Boisterously. _Predictably_.

The door opened to reveal a young woman in simple leather armor. Black hair, green eyes, pretty but drawn and tense face. The moment she crossed the treshold, Hissrad noticed the strange way she moved. It was… all wrong. Wearing leather armor like it was her first time in it - uncomfortable and suffocating. Pale, soft hands. Not much muscle definition either. She looked like a lady stuffed in skin not her own. _Or maybe a mage…_ A Vint? His shoulders tensed, preparing for an attack.

Her guarded eyes skipped all over his tavern room before landing on him. Hissrad saw her eyebrow lift in surprise at the sight of him, then her face smoothed into a perfectly polite mask.

’Interesting’ he though. Even beyond the mask, there was no disgust, fear or hatred in her eyes. His shoulders relaxed a bit. Not a Vint, then. Still… when most people who didn’t want to kill him saw him for the first time, they reacted with either contempt or lust. Sometimes both, he thought with a derisive mental snort.

Yet this girl did neither.

“The Iron Bull, I presume?” she asked politely.

“What? The horns give me away?” he poked at her and was surprised to see a small smile twitch at the corners of her lips. “Yes, that’s me. Did you need anything?” If what he thought was right, she could possibly ask to…

She steeled her shoulders and looked him in the eyes, determined, “I want to join the Chargers.”

His eye gleamed. Now that was a surprise. Time to see what she’s made of, he thought with a barely concealed grin. “And why should I let you join? What can you offer the Chargers?”

Her mouth opened, but she paused before she could say the first thing that popped into her mind. Bull approved.

“Let me join and I’ll prove that I’m worth it,” she answered at last. Despite the tenseness of her shoulders, she never flinched or dropped her eyes.

So she even knew a bit about the Qunari. This was getting better and better. He just hoped she was not here to spy on them… but then, the Orlesian nobles were too arrogant to ever suspect that a ’stupid brute’ of a mercenary could ever pass along vital information about their operations to the Ben-Hassrath. Unless she was a Ben-Hassrath herself and was here to check up on him, to see if he felt tempted to become a true Tal-Vashoth. That would be… unfortunate.

At leat she didn’t seem to be a Vint.

He allowed a grin to show on his face. Then he slapped a hand on his thigh and shouted, “Ha! That’s what I like to hear!” Her relieved smile put most of his worries at ease… unless she was that good? Ahh, too early to tell. “Alright. You can join for one job. We’ll see what you’re made of and if you can keep up, you can stay.”

She inclined her head gracefully and Bull’s grin grew wider. Dressed as she was in cheap, crappy leather armor, it looked decidedly strange on her. “Thank you, Iron Bull.”

“Right. Be here tomorrow morning at ten.” He dismissed her, waiting to see if she’ll offer any explanation about her more than odd behavior.

She cleared her throat nervously. “There is one more thing.”

“Yes?”

“…I’m a mage.” She looked at him out of the corner of her eyes. Probably expecting the worst, considering how mages were treated under the Qun. Hmm, this lady definitely had guts, to reveal her magic on their first meeting, alone in a small room with him. He definitely approved of her honesty.

“Really? You don’t look like a mage.” Bull said as he leaned back in his chair.

Her eyes briefly skipped down to his exposed chest, before returning to his amused face. Then she lifted an eyebrow, “When you’re a mage trying not to be caught, the first thing you should do is stop looking like a mage.”

“True. Not many mages figure that out, though.” He smiled and gave her another considering look.

The girl smirked. “Not many mages stay on the run for longer than a couple days.”

Bull’s only response was a good-natured chuckle.

After a moment, the girl stood up. “Very well, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Bull only watched, but called after her before she could leave the room. “What’s your name?”

She paused at the treshold, turning her head to look back at him with an almost hesitant look.

“Evelyn Trevelyan.”

Then the door closed behind her and she was gone.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning found his Chargers ready to take on the mission of the day - clearing out a noble’s estate of giant spiders. _Sounds like fun_ , Bull thought as he grinned to himself, _especially since we’ll be so well paid for it_. The fact that it will serve as a good measure of their newest potential member was an added bonus.

Yesterday has been a busy day. The moment the girl left, he had Krem check for any records of one ’Evelyn Trevelyan’, then he went to his own obscure sources to find out even more about her. It was surprisingly easy to get info once he asked.

Last child of a minor noble family in the Free Marches, all but abandoned at the Chantry the moment her parents discovered she had magical powers. A powerful and popular mage of the Ostwick Circle of Magi, bright and shining example of everything a mage should be, candidate for the next First Enchanter.

Until a mysterious incident, when she burned a templar and ran away from her Circle almost a year ago.

Bull smelled a story there. Especially since it seemed that the Templar in question did not give up the chase yet.

What was interesting, though, was that despite the clamor and the number of people hunting her, she evaded capture for several months without killing anyone - despite the fact they still had her phylactery at the time. It was only after Kirkwall’s Chantry blew up and all the Circles rebelled that the Templar Order’s full attention turned elsewhere.

And now she wanted to become a mercenary. _His_ mercenary. He wondered what her game was; leaving… wherever it was that she managed to successfully hide at for so long, to join a band of mercs travelling all over Orlais.

At least she was not Ben-Hassrath. Spy training took far longer than a couple months. Still, it did say a lot about her, for him to even have suspicions like that. If she turned out to be just as good a fighter as she was interesting as a person, she’ll be an excellent addition to their group.

Bull noticed her the moment she opened the tavern’s door.

Cautious eyes checked the whole room before settling on him. And his Chargers, of course. She looked just as uncomfortable in her armor today as she did yesterday. Not a new disguise then, or she’d be a bit more comfortable today. If she stayed with them, he’ll have to teach her how to wear it properly.

“Good morning,” she greeted them all politely, trying for confidence and mostly succeeding. She got different responses from his Chargers, from growls to a chirpy ’good morning’, courtesy of Dalish.

“Now there we’re all here, let’s get started. The spiders won’t kill themselves,” Bull grinned at their collective groans of disgust. “Two teams: Krem with Dalish, Skinner and Grim; then me, Rocky, Stitches and the new girl…” He looked at her.

“…Evie,” she added stoically, though the note of disgust in her voice suggested she didn’t like her name much. Hmm. If she stayed, he’d have to give her a nickname. Hell, he would have given her a new name anyways - it was a Charger’s tradition at this point.

“Alright, Chargers. Horns up!” Their answering shouts put a smile on his face, as usual.

He noticed the new girl was giving him a curious look, but since she didn’t comment, neither did he.

The estate was a mess. That was the first thing Bull noticed about it. Bright and pompous Orlesian crap covered in spider webs and who knew what else. But at least they’ll be well paid for this. That reminded him…

“One more thing before we get on with it. Try not to damage anything besides the spiders - we’re paid for clearing this place, not for destroying it.” Two grunts of agreement from his boys and a polite nod from the girl and they entered through the main gate.

The girl was alert but did not seem too scared of facing giant spiders. _Good_ , Bull smiled to himself. But then, at this point he didn’t really expect her to be terrified; she seemed too proper, too _controlled_ to show anything as ’common’ as fear. Now the only real concern he had was if the girl would be willing to get drunk with the rest of them once they were done here or not.

Bull watched her as she stayed close to him. He’d have to have a word with her later; mages should stay back, so they don’t hurt their teammates with fireballs or whatever magical weirdness they threw at their enemies and also that they won’t get underfoot while the men were fighting. It wouldn’t do to…

The moment they heard the tell-tale clicking of approaching spiders, the girl cast an almost silent, invisible barrier around all of the party and… pulled out daggers?

Bull watched with incredulous eye as she charged the spiders in her ill-fitting armor, slashing at them with her second-rate daggers. Then he realized that she was… not that bad at it, actually. He narrowed his eye at her; she was a bit too fast, too strong, too skilled with a dagger for a magic user, for someone who did not have proper agility and speed training. Had he not felt the barrier snap around him, he would have doubted her claims of being a mage.

How did she do that?

“Some help over here, if you please!” she shouted at them and the men snapped out of their shock to join her. Bull grinned. Couldn’t let her have all the fun, after all.

Once the last spider fell, Bull turned towards her. “What was that?”

She raised confused eyes to look at him.

“You are a mage. Why don’t you fight like it?” he checked her over. Despite her fighting style, there was not a scratch on her. Not even blood splatters. Courtesy of her barrier, no doubt. Bull felt his respect for her raise once again.

“Like what? Why don’t I cast spells?” She gave him a small sardonic smile, “When you’re a mage trying not to be caught, the _second_ thing you should do is to stop casting spells where people can see you.”

Bull laughed and dropped a hand on her slender shoulder. “Good job on being a ’not-mage’, then. Maybe you can give Dalish some tips over drinks tonight… Charger.”

She gave him a radiant smile; the first bit of honest, unguarded emotion he saw on her face, he thought with some satisfaction. If this was what she looked like when she let her guard down, she’ll fit in well with the others. Now he only needed to get her drunk…

The estate was clear of spiders in no time at all, then both groups met by the front gates.

“Krem! Report.” He barked at his lieutenant.

“Couple scratches, nothing serious.” Krem said in a disinterested voice, but Bull could see the sideway look he gave their party. Compared to Krem’s group, bloodied and covered in spider guts as they were, Bull’s men looked ridiculously clean, thanks to the new charger’s barrier spell. “What, couldn’t find the spiders?”

“Ha! No, it seems our new Charger has some nice tricks up her sleeve.” Bull pointed at her and noticed the faint blush on her cheeks. Not used to praise? Interesting.

Krem took a good look at the girl and Bull was gratified to see her straighten up. She kept looking at Krem like she couldn’t figure him out. They will probably have to mention Krem’s ’special circumstances’ before she starts suspecting him for all the wrong reasons. Tonight. Will be good to see how she’ll react, too.

But for now…

“Good job, men. Wrap up here and let’s go drink! Hope the spiders didn’t scare you so much you forgot how,” he grinned at Krem.

“Never, Chief,” Krem grinned back at him.

The party exchanged playful barbs all the way back to the tavern. Dalish kept looking at the new girl, no doubt curious about the second mage in their company. Bull had no doubt they’d get along; Dalish was desperate for a mage tutor, while the newbie liked praise. They’d make good team-mates.

Now just to figure out a name for the girl.

 


	3. Chapter 3

The tavern was warm and loud, just the way Bull liked them. There was even a red-headed serving girl that didn’t seem too spooked by Qunari. He took a deep breath as he walked in with his men close behind.

Bull threw the money on their table. Good haul, today. Even with another member to share with, the pay was still more than fine. Which meant the whole group was in a great mood already.

“Drinks are on me!” he shouted as he sat down and his men cheered. Bull thought he even saw Grim smile. Rocky grinned and jumped around like a child on sugar-high. Or a dwarf on Lyrium, as it were. He made a mental note to check their supplies later. Skinner relaxed and started sharpening her daggers. They sat around in their now familiar formation.

The new girl seemed lost as she stood there, not knowing what to do. A stark contrast to how she acted when she first came to him. Or how she fought. ’ _Come now, little one, sure you won’t be scared of a few rowdy mercs, wil you?’_ Here he thought lady had guts. Hmm, perfectly confident amongst enemies, but no idea what to do when no one attacks her. That said a few things about her life - none of them good.

But then, they came in all sizes, he guessed. Dalish wasn’t too different when she first arrived. Nor were most of them, if he was honest with himself. Before he could formulate a strategy to put her more at ease, she… shook herself. A flawless mask of friendliness fell on her face. Confident without a hint of arrogance, friendly without unearned familiarity. Bull’s appreciation rose once again. Too bad it was a mask… but his men will get her to open up soon, of that he had no doubt.

She pulled a chair from a table nearby to sit amongst them, near the elves. Dalish smiled at her welcomingly while Skinner growled under her breath. Downright friendly of that one. Didn’t even try to point her daggers at the ’filthy shem’. He’ll have to do something nice for her later.

Krem pulled a wine bottle to his lips, took a healthy gulp, then fixed the new girl with an intense stare, “So, how exactly did you get out of the fight so clean?”

Her shoulders tensed, but she gave a polite, restrained smile, “My barrier spell kept the blood splatters away.”

“Oh, you’re a mage then?” Dalish all but squealed. At the girls nod, her face lit up with a smile. “That’s great! How do you do it? Maybe you could share some tips… I mean, my people know a lot about magic, so…”

Krem rolled his eyes. “She’s a Charger now, Dalish. You don’t have to hide your magic here.”

Dalish just smiled, “Oh no, ser, I’m not a mage. I’m just a dalish elf that knows a few things. Clan history and the like, you see.” The rest of the group groaned.

Bull smiled fondly, but interrupted them, “Hey! Before you start, we need to make this official.” He turned to the girl, who watched him with curious eyes again. “Now that you’ve proven yourself, you get to have a Charger name.”

“A Charger name?” she repeated curiously.

Skinner snorted into her beer, briefly setting aside her daggers, “You don’t honestly believe my parents named me ’Skinner’, do you?”

The girl inclined her head gracefully, “So I get a nickname, then?”

“No, not just a nickname. It’s your _name_.” Bull corrected her. “You see, it’s a Qunari thing. We get names that are more than just a couple of pretty sounds. We have names that _mean_ something. Titles, you could say. Now you’ll get to have one, too.”

“What is your name?”

The question threw him for a moment. Not that she asked, but the way… As if she knew that he was still Qunari and not a Tal-Vashoth. He had to stop his eyes from narrowing. She seemed to know, or at least notice, more than he gave her credit for. Dangerous. He’ll have to remember that.

“Hissrad.”

Her eyebrows lifted and Bull saw even some of his own men startle at that. Probably hadn’t realized that he had a name aside from The Iron Bull. But then, it was not necessary for them to know while they were fighting or drinking. Which is what they did most of the time.

“Right. So, your name will be…” he paused to consider her. There were many things that jumped to mind when he thought of her, but only one really stuck with him. Her odd fighting style. The way this little mage rushed towards giant spiders with nothing but cheap daggers was _glorious_. “…Rush.”

Her eyes widened, then she… blushed? What a strange reaction. Even stranger was the fact he could not figure out the cause, while usually he had everyone pegged five minutes into their first meeting. Bull suddenly foresaw many hours spent with his head in hands, trying to figure her out.

“I… yes.” She looked at him and he was shocked to see the maelstrom of emotions in her eyes. Too many for him to fully grasp and categorize, even with all his training. Then she looked down and added in a whisper, “Thank you.”

Before things could get too awkward, Krem took another gulp of his wine and grinned, “Nice. Can’t wait to see you deal with some bandits.”

“Not before she teaches me some sp… some more about magic!” Dalish squeaked indignantly.

Bull laughed, “Sure! One not-mage to another. I can’t wait to see you two trying to train inside the city.”

“Careful there… Chief. We might surprise you and do just that,” Rush smiled at him.

’Chief, huh?’ Bull had to stop his eyes from narrowing once again. This was all going a bit too fast. It was just yesterday that he met her for the first time. And here she sat amongst his people, his inner circle so to speak, joking around, calling him the same name they did. Which would not be a problem, if it was sincere, but Bull could clearly see the stiff way she still held herself. Definitely still careful and nervous around them.

“So long as you don’t get caught and dragged away into some dark dungeon, those are the kinds of surprises I like.”

She nodded to him and that was that. Before she could relax though, Krem leaned in and Bull was surprised to see Rush tense up so much even the rest of the Chargers noticed.

Krem paused before he could say what he intended, then continued a bit more kindly, instead of using his usual snark. “Now that you’re one of us, I want to know more about you.” Krem waited for her acknowledging nod, before he casually asked the one thing they could not really figure out from their reports. “Why exactly are you on the run?”

Bull fully expected Rush to flinch or tense up even more, or at least defend herself and question how much they knew about her, but to his surprise yet again, she actually relaxed slightly.

She gave his lieutenant a cold smirk, “I burned a Templar’s head.”

“Really? You don’t seem the type,” Rocky lifted an eyebrow at her from under his ever-present hood. Looked like she just gained his respect, now that she admitted she could play with fire, too. “Why just head? Why not his face?”

Her cold smirk only grew wider. “The head I burned didn’t have a face.”

The men collectively winced. Bull personally thought this explained a lot about their new member. If what he suspected was right, flinching away from Krem certainly made more sense now. His lieutenant was a bit too… manly at times. Skinner stopped sharpening her blades and fixed Rush with an appreciative look. Looked like the newcomer managed to win her over, too. Bull only hoped their newfound friendship won’t result in _too many_ casualties. They needed some people left to be their clients, too.

“Not bad, shem,” Skinner all but purred. “Tell me more about it.”

Rush relaxed back in her chair and casually steepled her long, slender fingers. “Templar, only known as Rylan. A young upstart who joined the Order to ’make sure the mages serve men properly’. Which meant he liked to beat up young apprentices and harass senior Enchanters during their research. He was mostly just an annoyance, not much worse than the rest of the Order,” she shrugged her shoulders, as if such behavior was perfectly normal.

Bull felt a twinge of pity for anyone who accepted beatings and harassment as a ’normal’ part of their life.

“I caught his attention when I submitted a proposal to study the Tranquil. Mages whose connection to the Fade has been disrupted, making them emotionally dead. Little better than walking corpses, really,” she added when she saw several uncomprehending faces. “I didn’t believe the Rite was permanent, you see. The Rite is based on a Lyrium brand, and there is not much known about the mineral itself in the first place. Even less is known about the Rite which we have been using for centuries, but never truly studied. I believed that the Rite of Tranquility could be changed, or maybe we could develop a new one altogether; one that wouldn’t be so damaging. Take away the magic, sure, but don’t kill their hearts in the process. Connect to the Fade without the ability to cast spells, make sure they dream but can’t manipulate, and mages are no more dangerous than any other person.” Her eyes got several shades darker.

“I bet they didn’t like that,” Dalish whispered, her eyes huge with fear at the mere thought of Templars. And here Bull thought being part of the Chargers gave her more confidence. Hmm, he’ll have to make her feel safe here. Official sanction? Gain the right to recruit mages into his company, maybe? Many nobles preferred to trade in favors instead of money - he could use that.

Rush continued, a bit surprised at the other mage’s reaction, “No, the proposal was actually quite a popular one. Had I found a way to do this, half the Isolationists and most Loyalists would jump at the chance to have it done to themselves. The only problem the Chantry had was the fact that a mage would study the Rite and learn to modify it.”

She leaned back with a heavy sigh. “I… almost had it. Two years of steady politicking and gaining favors left and right and the Chantry was almost ready to accept my proposal. But, a new Rite would also have some not so pleasant consequences.” She smiled bitterly. “Should many mages suddenly become ’harmless’, there would be no need for the Chantry to employ so many Templars. Which means the weaker ones, the useless ones, would be let go. Like Rylan.”

Light of understanding entered the eyes of most Chargers and Rush chuckled darkly, “So, he had to get rid of me, somehow. And what better way to do that than to accuse me of being possessed?”

“Wait, possessed?“ Krem narrowed his eyes at her, “Didn’t you say you burned his…”

“Yes, I did. But you see, that’s the beauty of it. There are Demons, really powerful ones, who can take you over but keep wearing your appearance like a set of clothes. Or so I heard; I’m starting to have my doubts about validity of such claims. Anyway, the only proper way to deal with an abomination, or suspected abomination, is death. Immediate execution. It would be a simple matter to claim I was possessed by a Desire demon and the ’good Templar’ had just ’barely escaped my horrible trap’, killing me in the process.” Her fingers closed into a fist, “He’d probably get a promotion over it, too. Raping me would be just a bonus.“

There was a moment of silence as the group processed this. Bull was once again in the strange state of not knowing what to think. His instincts and his training both told him she was telling the truth. But if demons could truly possess people and look like them then… No. He will not let his fears rule him and cloud his judgment. It would be so like the rotten assholes of this country to claim possession like that was possible even if it wasn’t; to use common people’s fears of magic to make them accept murder without question.

Grim was surprisingly the one who got over his shock first. Or maybe he didn’t, because he actually spoke, “That is…” then he paused, uncertain how to continue.

“That is Circle life for you,” Rush smiled at him bitterly and reached for the closest tankard. It was a testament to Skinner’s growing respect for the girl that she didn’t even protest having her drink taken by a shem, much less reach for her daggers. Rush emptied the tankard, completely shattering her image of a noble lady, slammed it back down on the table and continued her sorry tale, “My only consolation is that a burned penis and an escaped mage are much harder to explain than a rotting corpse. Still, Rylan got official sanction to hunt me down, which makes me think that it was some other Templar, much higher up in the Order, that put him up to this.” She sighed, “So, I guess I wasn’t anywhere near close to getting approval for my research after all.”

Stitches gave her an incredulous look and could no longer keep quiet about this, “Wait, you worry about your _research,_ when the bastards tried to have you _raped and murdered_?” The incredulity in his voice and the agreeing looks of the rest of the Chargers made the woman blush.

“Of course I worry about that, too! But you see, rape and murder are… well… that’s what the Circle was like, ever since a Loyalist became First Enchanter. But my research would influence much more than just my life. It could have saved hundreds of Tranquil all over Thedas and made life worth living for more mages than you can imagine. Compared to that, yes, this whole debacle is a minor glitch in the greater scheme of things.” She waver her hand as if to dismiss her entire fate as inconsequential.

Bull was honestly surprised. Once again. If he didn’t know any better, he’d say she was Qunari. She certainly thought like them. The individual life was not important - what mattered was the whole, and if it helped her people, the right thing to do was to sacrifice everything she had to achieve it, even if it killed her in the process. Where did values and opinions like that come from, he wondered. Certainly not from examples, if what she said of the Circle was true.

Rush sighed heavily and bowed her head, “So, here I am. Hunted by a Templar bent on revenge, with someone very powerful behind him determined to get rid of me. I sure know how to pick my enemies…” She looked straight at Bull with such pained acceptance in her eyes that he felt a twinge of answering pain himself. Her next question didn’t surprise him at all. In fact, he almost expected it.

“Do you want me to leave?”

Bull didn’t even have to think about his answer. The right thing was clear, as few things in his life were anymore. “No. I will not reject you because some asshole is trying to have you killed.”

Her eyes closed with relief. The shaking breath she took told him much, mainly that he had just managed to gain her loyalty. Still, she felt the need to feebly protest, even though he saw that it was mostly for show and to make sure he really did mean what he said. “I have powerful enemies…”

“So?” he asked her insolently and they both understood that he knew just how much trouble he and his men could get into over this, over her.

She stayed quiet for a heartbeat, then she smiled at him. “Thank you.”

Before things could get too bloody awkward, Krem jumped in with a smirk, “Good. You can join fully by completing an old Charger’s tradition, new-blood.”

“And what tradition is that?” Rush asked with a small smile, still uncertain around the lieutenant.

“Fetch us drinks!“ Krem grinned and the rest of the Chargers roared with approval.

Rush laughed and did as he asked. Bull saw her shoulders relax as she turned to walk to the bar, and understood that she let herself truly become one of them.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a brief character expo in this one. The next chapter will have more action, I promise :)

They spent their night laughing, drinking and generally being as loud as they could, to the great annoyance of several inn patrons, who didn’t dare say a thing against them, from what Rush saw. Krem took it as his personal challenge to make her more relaxed around him, regaling her with tales of old contracts, and most importantly, teaching her the Chargers song to the great amusement of their Chief.

“… Our horns be pointing up!” the men finished with a yell for the fourth time this evening, making several not-too-drunk-yet patrons grumble into their cheap drinks. 

Rush joined in both the singing and the victorious yells, feeling free for the first time since… since she found out she was a mage.

What surprised her the most was her new chief, The Iron Bull. She expected him to be like most Qunari and hate her on sight for being a mage. That’s what they were like, right? She expected to have to fight tooth and nail to keep her place on his team and a long up-hill battle to prove her worth to be allowed to stay. Yet…

He accepted her. Just like that.

In her life, this was unheard of. Not even her parents…

But that didn’t matter now.

She knew that the Chargers already had a mage from the time she spent watching them before she first approached Iron Bull; the little elf girl was about as subtle as a hooded dwarf with glowing blue casket. Which is to say, not at all. But then, she clearly didn’t come in with as much baggage as Lady Evelyn Trevelyan, the Renegade Mage Extraordinaire and famous apostate, so she would not be important enough to be hunted… and most Templars wouldn’t dare go against any mercenary captain, much less one as strong and intimidating as the Iron Bull.

Still, the huge man allowed Rush to stay, even knowing she was a hunted woman. There was a moment, when she thought she’d be sent packing, especially when she mentioned the accusation of being possessed, but then he decided to accept her instead.

That moment… No matter what happened next, she decided to remember that moment and treasure it, always. This was a rare gift, made all the more precious by the fact that there was nothing he could gain from pretense, that he had no use for her beyond her skill as a mercenary. This… had to be real.

She even had a new name, now. One that was not tainted by the memory of her ’noble’ childhood or the Circle. One that she _earned_. The moment he called her Rush, she knew she will not want to be called by another name again.

The group settled down once again to continue drinking and playing cards. Wicked Grace, was it? Rush couldn’t remember - it’s been too long since she had enough friends to play a game with; any game, really. The Circle didn’t exactly inspire camaraderie.

The Charger’s lieutenant, Krem, returned with another drink and fell down on the chair beside her with a heavy grunt.

Rush couldn’t help but tense up once again. His manner reminded her too much of the Templars… and nothing good ever came from having a Templar this close to you. She decided to try and talk to him; since they were supposed to be a team, she couldn’t afford to keep her own fears and insecurities stand - that would just end up hurting them all in the end.

“Can I help you?” she asked in a voice as neutral as she was able to.

Krem smirked at her, not unkindly. “Not really. The right thing to ask is if I can help you.” Before Rush could open her mouth to ask what he meant, Krem continued, “I noticed you tense up every time I speak. Don’t try to deny it, it’s obvious to all of us.”

Rush only bowed her head. So, she’ll have to go through the one thing she didn’t want to go through until she got to know these people better - a confrontation. “I’m sorry. I’ll…”

Krem only help up his hand, “No need, I understand. I had a couple rough patches with assholes myself, when they found out about me.”

“What about you?” Rush asked, mystified. Did she misunderstand something?

“That I don’t have the ’right’ bits down there.” Krem stated matter-of-factly.

Rush felt her eyebrows try to climb into her hair. That… explained a few things. Unfortunately, it didn’t deal with her problem. “Well. Thank you for telling me. But that’s not the reason I’m so… tense.” At Krem’s surprised look, Rush let out a nervous breath and tried to explain. “You… act like a Templar. The way you walk or speak… It reminds me of them too much. Gender doesn’t matter.”

Krem stayed silent for a second, “Oh. That’s… Hmm.”

Rush was quick to reassure him. “It’s not your fault. I’m just… I haven’t been around warriors enough to really get used to them not trying to kill me. Just… give me time. I’m sure I’ll get over it soon enough, once we’ve fought together without trying to kill each other.” She gave him… her… _him_ a smile and felt herself relax despite her words just now.

Krem chuckled and stood up. “I’ll have to ask the Chief to give us a job, then, for the two of us. Bonding time and all that.”

“That would be great,” Rush smiled at him and picked up her tankard once again.

Krem turned to go, then paused and looked back at her. “Hey, why don’t you have a problem with Chief too, then? He’s a strong warrior, and a damned big, intimidating one at that.”

Rush paused with the tankard half-way to her lips, then put it down, lost in thought, “I… don’t know. Maybe because he’s Qunari? There are no Qunari templars. Or maybe because he seems so passionate, but still in control of himself… I… I just don’t know why I feel safe with him. 

Krem grinned at her and turned away to join Rocky and Stitches for another round of Wicked Grace 

Rush breathed a sigh of relief, then picked up her tankard once again. Crisis averted. She looked around the tavern to check her surroundings out of habit, and her eyes met the Iron Bull’s. His gaze was… piercing. Without truly knowing why, she blushed and looked away.

Before she could really think about what just happened, the other mage, Dalish, called her over. Looked like she wanted to get those tips on how to use magic… or maybe how to avoid templars. Rush could help either way.

She finished the drink in her hands with a smile and went to learn more about her new family.


	5. Chapter 5

“Now this is weird,” Krem commented as they made their way through the forest.

“Hmm? What is?” Rush asked as she looked around at all the… greenery around them. Never before had she seen anything like it - trees as tall as the highest building in Ostwick, rashvine growing everywhere, wild animals running around… the Emerald Graves were truly astounding. Especially for a woman that grew up sheltered in a private estate, then later locked up in a tower.

“You.” At her half-affronted look, Krem chuckled and explained, “I expected you to keep your distance after our last chat, but here you are, keeping close as another warrior would. You really don’t act like any mage I’ve ever met.”

“Met many mages, have you?” Rush paused, lifted an eyebrow and crossed arms defensively over her chest.

“I come from Tevinter. I’ve seen plenty, trust me.”

Rush looked away, blushing, “Oh. Sorry.”

Krem just shrugged his shoulders with a grin, “Don’t worry ’bout it. Is there any reason you keep so close?”

Rush went back to watching the beautiful forest surrounding them as she explained, “I’m a Knight-Enchanter. While I’ve never truly _fought_ in a battle before I escaped the Circle, all my training had me act more like a warrior than a mage. It’s… habit for me now, I guess.”

“What’s a Knight-Enchanter?” Stitches asked from a few steps behind them.

“Knight-Enchanters are mages too stupid to stay back in a fight,” Rush grinned at him and was happy to hear him chuckle. “It’s a style intended for mages who are determined to pretend they are harmless, or at least no more dangerous than ’any other chevalier’. Or for those who wish to gain the Chantry’s favor, as I did when I was trying to get approval for my research. The way it is taught makes it mostly useless, except for a few choice bits here and there.”

“That’s not what I heard,” Krem gave her a considering look while Grim grunted affirmatively from behind him. “I heard Knight-Enchanters are terrifying on the battlefield, feared by all.”

Rush snorted. “All mages are terrifying. Knight-Enchanters are merely one of the very few types of mages _allowed_ on the battlefield. Of course they’d be feared. As all other mages would. For many, it’s also a type of self-defense, because, well… you know what they say about how any good battle strategy should go,“ she smiled at them bitterly, “Take out the casters first. And so they don’t cast.”

That seemed to close the topic for the entire group and they continued walking in silence. ’Good job, _Evie_ ’, she thought to herself. Looked like her social skills were even more lacking than she thought, when she couldn’t even keep a simple conversation going without descending into bitter remarks and complaints about Circle life and politics. How did she manage to gain so many favors and approval with these kinds of skills? Talking to the mercs was somehow much harder than charming a lonely old enchanter or a desperate, lyrium-addicted Templar into speaking up for her. Maybe because these people asked for honesty, instead of lies.

She was determined to do better. This was a great opportunity to get to know the Chargers, one she was determined not to waste.

Krem kept his word and got them a job with Bull’s approval. They were to travel to the Emerald Graves together with Stitches and Grim and complete one of the lesser jobs the Chargers were hired to do - dealing with a couple bears that had settled too close to a noble’s estate. Perfect job for a new team.

They traveled further east, into the thickest part of the forest. Rush couldn’t help but wonder who built an estate this deep in the wilderness and for what purpose. Probably some ’love nest’ for nobles who were determined to betray their spouses, as was their custom. It did not matter, though. They were paid to deal with problems, not for asking questions…

And here she started thinking like a mercenary already, she thought with a grin.

The team followed Krem down another winding path, intersected with pieces of ancient elvhen walls here and there, when they heard a piercing cry and terrible, inhuman roars. Krem held up a hand, then searched for the source. The team just passed a rocky outcropping, when the problem came into view.

Giant.

Huge, fat giant trying to hit a group of Dalish elves, who were desperately trying to protect their land-ships while also jumping away from the beasts’ powerful hits.

Krem looked at his team. Seemed like he didn’t want to make a choice whether to join this fight without their input. Grim and Stitches nodded to him almost without hesitation, then Krem looked at Rush.

This… if they joined in, this would be the biggest fight she’s ever been in. She’d have to use her flashier spells - let others know about her powers, including the Dalish elves, who were complete strangers. But if they didn’t help, these elves would be slaughtered. So, in the end, there was not much of a choice. Rush nodded to Krem and readied one dagger, leaving her other hand free to cast spells.

Krem gave her an approving grin and turned back to the fight.

The elves had several wounded already and one of their Aravels was pretty much a pile of splinters. If they were to help, they had to do it now. Krem signaled his team and charged the Giant with a taunting yell. The giant turned its misshapen head towards him. Rush barely managed to cover all her teammates with a barrier before Krem was too far ahead for it to reach him.

Grim jumped into the fight, strong and deadly, while Stitches stayed back and pulled out a bow. The elves wisely stepped back to do the same.

That left only Rush.

She took a deep breath and gathered her magic, quickly thinking of the best strategy to take that thing down. Lightning was out, she didn’t want to hit the elves or her team by accident. Fire was out, too, no way will she cast that in a flammable forest. Frost… didn’t look like it would hurt that thing; it probably wouldn’t even slow the giant down. Also, too magically exhausting to fight with those spells without a staff… So that left her daggers.

She pulled the other one out, let her magic flow into both the weapons and her muscles, strengthened her body… and charged.

Krem actually laughed between swings, “Yeah, ’Rush’. I can see that! It really fits you!”

Rush barely dodged the giant’s swinging arm and yelled back, “Less chatting, more fighting!”

Both Krem and Grim roared approvingly and turned their full attention back to the fight.

Between the warriors, elves and Stitches shooting from a distance and a knight-enchanter in the thick of things, the giant was quickly weakening. Its legs were covered in deep cuts, torso and back in arrows and it looked barely able to keep standing. Its swings were getting less powerful, too. The elves, sensing victory, pressed harder, as did Krem.

It felt like Rush was the only one who saw the giant bending down for what it was. Her eyes widened in horror when she saw it tear a huge rock out of the ground and…

...aim at Krem.

When Krem finally realized what was happening, it was too late for him to run for cover. He looked around wildly, but the closest thing that could stop the boulder was a tree near the Aravels. Too far away to be of use. Krem briefly closed his eyes, then fixed the Giant with a defiant glare and landed another crushing blow into its leg.

The Giant readied for the throw. Grim desperately picked up the pace of his attacks, trying to bring it down, the elves started shooting much faster, but they all knew it will be too late.

In that moment, Rush materialized inside the Giant’s leg, exploding it with a massive force and showered the whole team with blood and gore.

The Giant howled in agony, dropped the boulder and fell down on its remaining knee. Rush coughed up some blood that got inside her mouth and tried to stagger away. But before she could move into safe distance, the giant turned its full rage against her. Its arm lifted and it put all its remaining strength into one last hit.

Rush went flying head first into the boulder.

Not even her barrier could withstand that hit. She hit the rock hard and felt something… snap. Distantly, she heard Krem’s enraged roar, joined by the elves’ shouts, but she was too tired to lift her head to look at them. She stopped trying to stand back up, leaned against the strangely warm, moss-covered rock and then she knew no more.

 

-rushing-ahead-rushing-ahead-rushing-ahead-

 

“…waking up.” Excited voices reached her ears as if from behind a veil of water. Everything was muddled and distant, as if she walked the fade.

Evelyn felt the hard, stiff mattress of her bed in the Enchanter’s quarters under her, feeling as if she just came out of her Harrowing. Were those voices Templars, here to kill her if she failed or displeased them? But… she already failed, didn’t she?

Or was that Rylan, here to finish her off?

“Come on, open your eyes,” a kind voice she didn’t recognize spoke to her. But then, that was not so surprising. She did not know many kind voices.

She did her best to obey. Her eyes, glued together from sleep, finally opened to see the red linen above her head. The sun was beating down on top of the Aravel she lay in, surrounded by the worried faces of the elves. The elves she saved. _They_ saved. She and… her team.

Suddenly it all came back to her. The escape, hiding wherever she could, travelling the cities of Orlais in search of any well paid job, the Charger’s happy smiles, The Iron Bull, Krem… _Rush_.

Her breath caught and she blinked her eyes furiously. She slowly turned her head to the side to see Krem sitting beside her, hands on his knees and watching her with… a proud smile?

“Nice to see you awake, your Knightliness,” he grinned at her and she couldn’t help but smile back. “Good job back there, with that Giant. I thought I was done for.”

“You’re welcome,” she rasped with her dry throat and unsuccessfully tried to clear it. Krem leaned in and held a tankard full of fresh spring water to her lips. She gratefully took a couple sips. “What happened after…”

“After the giant hit you, we finished it off pretty quickly. In fact, we almost didn’t have to do a thing. It was bleeding so hard that it would have died on its own soon enough, I reckon. We were more worried about you. You had some serious injuries.”

“True, and we don’t have any healers to care for you properly, I’m sorry to say,” came the soft, apologetic voice of a young elven man standing just a couple steps away from them, near the entrance of the Aravel. “My name is Taven. I was travelling through the Emerald Graves with my clan-mates in search of Dalish history, without any great difficulties. Well, until the moment that giant decided to attack us. You and your team have probably saved our lives. We are ever so grateful for your help,” he thanked Rush with an elegant little bow.

“Yeah, well, some payment would be better,” Krem muttered under his breath quietly, unfortunately not quietly enough as Taven winced.

“I apologize, but we truly…” he started to say, but Krem just waved his hand to silence him.

“Don’t worry ’bout it. So long as the Chief doesn’t hear about this, we’re fine.”

Rush gathered her strength and pushed herself up until she was sitting on the small bedroll. “Does the Iron Bull disapprove of helping strangers?” She asked the lieutenant curiously.

Krem scratched the back of his neck, “No, no, nothing like that. He actually likes it when we help people. So long as we don’t waste any of our own resources on jobs we won’t get paid for. Because… you know, healing potions are kind of expensive.”

“Oh.” Well, that made sense. This was a mercenary group, after all; profit was their main goal. But if they managed to help some poor souls on the way without any expense aside from a bit of their time… That sort of attitude was actually very kind, better than most mercs had and, if she was honest with herself, the main reason she wanted to join this particular mercenary company so much.

“We could help with that,” Taven chimed in, when Rush fell silent. “We might not have any gold to pay you with, but we gathered some healing herbs while travelling the forest. We will gladly give these to you, for the help you’ve given us.”

“Ah, err, thanks. I appreciate it.” Krem nodded to Taven.

Taven smiled at them and stepped outside to give them some privacy.

Krem turned back to Rush, who pulled herself to sit with her back pressed to the wooden boards of the Aravel. Their eyes met, then Krem gave her a gentle smile; the gentlest she’s seen on him yet. “Thanks for your help back there. You saved my life.”

Rush blushed and responded with a small smile of her own. “You’re welcome,” she said simply. What else could she say to that?

His chuckle surprised her. “Well, I don’t think this is what the Chief had in mind when he gave us the job, but it worked out fine, right?”

She just smiled and relaxed even more against the wooden planks.

“I have a couple questions, though,“ his suddenly piercing eyes were much less disconcerting than before. Maybe that’s what Krem was usually like, she thought and refused to let her fears get the better of her. At her nod, Krem continued, “You said Knight-Enchanters are mostly harmless… but that exploding trick back there was pretty damn far from harmless. Care to explain?”

Rush grinned and corrected him, “I said that they _pretended_ to be harmless, not that they were.” Her smirk only grew under Krem’s unimpressed stare. “And I also said that the way it is taught makes it useless, not that it _is_ useless.”

When she saw Krem take a breath to interrupt her, she tiredly tried to explain further, “Look, mages took a perfectly reasonable magical discipline and modified it so much it lost all sense of practicality. Today, it’s not so much about fighting as a way to reassure the chevaliers that they are still better than the mages. To make them think ’look how hard these poor sheltered mages try to become warriors and still fail’. Being a Knight-Enchanter is more of a political statement than a fighting style.

“The original discipline was re-discovered by the Hero of Ferelden in some elven ruin during the Fifth Blight. It’s a style of the ancient elves called Arcane Warriors.” She smiled at the memory of time spent in the Circle library with her nose buried in a ’report’ from the Hero herself; report that read more like an adventure tale of discovering ancient mysteries than the dry litanies the enchanters usually submitted.

“I had the pleasure of reading the original study, so I know what the style _could_ be. Trust me, compared to what it is now, the style is laughable. Crafting Lazurite spirit blades to be able to join? More like a slapped on restriction so that only the really rich mages with support of Chantry and their noble families can afford it. The true beauty of the style lies somewhere else…”

Rush looked Krem right in the eyes and stated matter of factly, “An Arcane Warrior can wear any armor, grab and skillfully wield any weapon with almost no training, with inhuman speed, strength and precision, all the while expending only the barest minimum of their power.”

Krem stared at her, “That’s… impossible!”

Rush just smirked, “And this is precisely the reason why the Way of the Knight-Enchanter was developed. To make us… a little less ’impossible’.”

When Krem just continued to stare, Rush sighed and looked past him outside of the aravel. “At least becoming a Knight-Enchanter had one advantage. The lazurite blade-hilt fetched me some good coin when I sold it after my escape.”

Krem got over his shock and snorted. “Now I can’t wait to train with you.” At Rush’s incredulous look, Krem only grinned, “I don’t believe you can be a better warrior than me simply by waving your daggers around with no training. We’ll have a nice little training session as soon as our job here is done. I’ll prove to you that skill matters,” He challenged her confidently.

Rush only laughed, “You’re on! Just don’t be sore when you lose.” Then she spoiled the little challenge by yawning. Looked like she was still tired from the fight.

“We’ll see who will bite the dust, Rush. Anyway,” he continued with an evil grin, “should you win, the Chief will take it as a personal challenge. I can’t wait to see you face against him.”

At her wide-eyed look, Krem slapped his knee with a laugh and stood up. “Take some time to rest. Stitches did what he could, but you still need sleep. The bears can wait a day.” He nodded to her and walked out, jumping down from the Aravel.

Rush just chuckled and laid back down.

The sun was still high in the sky, there was still work to be done, yet she felt she could simply lie down, rest and be safe. Was this what being in a team was like? Distantly, she heard Stitches shout something and the higher voices of the elves respond in kind. Krem’s laughter followed soon after as did the smell of alcohol. 

She fell asleep with a smile.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I love the Knight-Enchanter spirit blades. They are big and shiny and really powerful. That said... WHY THE FUCK CAN'T I FIGHT WITH ANYTHING ELSE?!
> 
> Seriously, that was the point of Arcane Warriors. You pick a style and suddenly, just like that, you're a skilled warrior. That was creepily awesome. These Knight-Enchanters? T_T
> 
> If this is what Solas feels when he meets the Dalish, I'm not surprised he's... cranky.
> 
> Hope you liked my mini explanation about why that travesty happened.


	6. Chapter 6

"You know, the elves might have paid us more than even they realized," Krem joked as he put away the bag full of coin.

"What do you mean? It was us who gathered most of the herbs." Rush gave him a curious look.

"Yeah, sure, but would you know the right ones to pick if they didn't show us? Even Stitches didn't know some of these were valuable." Krem looked around to see a smugly content Stitches and a long-suffering Grim bartering a different batch of herbs for some nice new armor. Expensive new armor he never could have afforded if they didn't harvest what felt like half the Emerald Graves on their way back from the job.

The elves really came through for them. While they did give the team some Rashvine for the help, they felt that it didn't truly show their appreciation. Before they parted ways, Taven took it up as his personal duty to show them everything harvestable in the forest and help them gather it. Rush felt as if she learned more about herbology in those few hours with the elves than she did in her entire life at the Circle with master herbalists.

Combined with the pelts they gathered from the bears they were sent to kill, this was a really good pay-day for them.

"Hmm, I have to admit, their advice was very valuable," Rush agreed. "I don't know how useful it will be in other places, though. Will we know which herbs are valuable in the desert or on the coast?"

"Heh, if we don't, we'll go and get help from another bunch of elves. You sure made friends with them fast, Rush." Krem checked her over and teased, "Maybe they mistook you for one of them, your ears being so big…"

"Hey!" Rush exclaimed mock-seriously and covered her ears with her hands.

Krem laughed and she joined him a moment later, when they heard a familiar deep voice behind them, "Having fun?"

Rush whirled around to come face to… chest with the Iron Bull. One look at him and she had the uneasy feeling that he already knew what happened. Or at least that more happened than it should have.

"Hey, Chief," Krem greeted him as if nothing happened. At Bull's narrowed eyed look, Krem straightened up, but didn't look away.

Bull looked from one to another, just waiting for them to squirm and give up the 'big secret' about what happened during their job for them to be suddenly so friendly. They must look like guilty children to him, Rush thought.

After a moment, Bull grinned and shouted, "Ha! Krem de la Crème and his charms win again! Just look at how well you play along now."

Krem just snorted, but wisely didn't say a thing.

Bull was not to be deterred, though, "So, how did it go?" He gave them both an expectant look.

She suddenly had an uneasy feeling that lying to Bull, if she ever needed to do that, would be extremely difficult. Instead of trying to figure something out, she turned to Krem. As Bull's lieutenant, he must know how to deal with this. Right?

Krem didn't even hesitate, "We managed to get an extra job on the side, chief," he tossed his full coinpurse in the air and caught it with an easy grin.

"Oh?" Bull asked in a deceptively sweet voice, "What kind of job?"

"Nothing much," Krem began with an innocent look that wouldn't fool a five-year-old, "We only went and killed a  _huge ass giant_! Rush blew him to little bits." He grinned at her proudly and she couldn't help the blush that spread on her cheeks.

"That's what I like to hear!" Bull shouted and several heads on the market turned towards them, then quickly looked away when they saw who exactly was so loud. Then Bull leaned in conspiratorially, "But you know what I'd love to hear more?"

Rush, seeing that Bull was perfectly fine with their extra job, inserted half-jokingly, "That drinks are on us tonight?"

There was a moment of silence as they both stared at her as if she sprouted Qunari horns, then Bull exploded with laughter and Krem joined in, then put his arm protectively over her shoulders, "Chief, she's one of us already!"

Bull nodded his massive head, "That she is," he smiled.

 

-rushing-ahead-rushing-ahead-rushing-ahead-

 

Her second night with all the Chargers went much better than the first one. For one, there was much less tension between her and Krem, and Rush felt she knew these people better now.

Not that she became best friends with Grim or even Stitches, but they had a relaxed camaraderie between them now, as only people who had each other's backs in a tough fight could have. She now felt that she could count on them, if things turned rotten. It was a strange, but far from unpleasant feeling.

Rush had also seen Krem act as the lieutenant he was. Talking to people seemed to be second nature to him, and before they left the market, he had at least ten new small tasks for the Chargers that only needed Bull's approval before they could get on with fulfilling them. Krem truly was a professional.

"…and that's when I told him we'll get the rest of the Chargers to look into it. Shouldn't take one of our teams more than a couple hours to clear it all up." Krem finished his report to Bull over a couple drinks.

Bull gave him a smile, "Good job, Krem. Any ideas why he wants us to salvage that one particular crashed ship?"

"Not really, chief. The only thing I know is that his lord's wife died on that ship… when it crashed near the shore. So we will probably find her corpse in there somewhere. Funny thing, though, that Lord Adlebrent or his captain didn't ask us to retrieve it for proper burial." Krem exchanged a look of dark suspicion with Bull, while Rush watched them.

There was something wrong here. She wondered what they'll find… and how Bull will deal with it. But that was a worry for another time, now she had a more pressing question, "…Chief?" It still felt a bit unnatural to call him that, she thought.

"Yes, Rush?" He turned his massive horned head towards her and she had to fight a blush that wanted to spread on her cheeks. That name… she still shivered when she heard it spoken. Especially in her Chief's deep voice. There was something special in how he said it.

"I wanted to know… where are 'the rest' of the Chargers?"

Bull started to smirk and Krem unsuccessfully tried to hide his own smile behind a drink.

She narrowed her eyes and continued, "I've heard Krem mention 'other teams' several times today, but…"

"The rest of the Chargers are around somewhere…" Krem inserted with a mischievous smile.

Bull nodded and joined in, "They went to get better drinks."

There was something here, something they weren't telling her. Her eyes narrowed further and their smirks grew. "And when will they return?"

Bull leaned in with a wicked grin, "When they realize that there are no better drinks than with the Chargers."

Wait, did that mean they… But that was…

Rush couldn't help it; she started laughing. Bull and Krem clinked their tankards together and finished their drinks in one strong gulp.

When she finally calmed down enough to speak, she shook her head and tried to confirm if what she guessed was right, "So you tell the nobles there are more of you and get paid as if you were a huge company, but… there are only the, what, eight of us?"

At their nods, she started laughing again.

Bull poured himself another drink and explained, "Many nobles think that being clever means screwing over those 'beneath them'. They also think payments for services they ordered are optional. We usually get some form of compensation out of them anyway, but if we want to live well, we need to get money wherever we can."

"Yeah, we don't want to end up like most of the mercenary companies around here," Krem snorted and relaxed back in his chair.

"What do you mean?" Rush asked as she drew her first and only drink for this evening closer to her chest.

It was Bull who stated dryly, "Stretched too thin, desperate for coin and willing to sacrifice their own people for another job."

"Oh."

Rush had no idea things were that dire for mercenaries. But she could well imagine some of the nobles, even the Circle mages, trying to weasel out of paying once the job was done. "So that's why…"

"Hmm?" Bull gave her a curious look and waited for her to explain.

"That's why your people seem so happy." She looked him in the eye and confessed without a trace of guilt, "I actually… did some research, you could say, before I first approached you."

"Research?" he asked with a small smirk.

"I walked around the marketplace and watched several companies going about their daily business. Most of them were desperate, just as you said, and they were obviously trying to save coin by skimping on their equipment." She took a small sip of the drink in her hands, "Then I've seen the Chargers and they… you… seemed happy with your lives. So I asked to join."

She didn't want to mention that the thing that actually persuaded her to ask was Bull himself. Most mercenary companies had leaders that looked simply… wrong. Harsh, cruel, bitter bastards who wouldn't hesitate to kill their clients if the pay wasn't good enough. She's met enough templars like them to recognize the type.

But Bull… She remembered how he handed a battered silver medallion to that old woman… and didn't ask for payment. It was clear the woman couldn't have afforded to pay anyone to find it, yet the amulet was important to her. That simple act of kindness was the main reason she decided to become a Charger, even though the Iron Bull was a Qunari.

There were a lot of things worth respect, but none as much as kindness.

She should know. She lived without anyone showing a hint of it long enough to know its importance.

She tore herself out of her thoughts and lifted her head… to look Bull right in the eye. For some reason, looking away would have felt very rude. So she didn't.

They stared at each other for a long moment. His one good eye piercing; Rush felt as if he stared into her very soul. The demon that tested her on her Harrowing had a look less invasive. Just when it was becoming too much for her to stand, Bull smiled at her and turned back to Krem. Rush had to suppress a relieved sigh. Looked like she passed… whatever that was.

Bull went back to the topic at hand. "I'll take this job myself. You take Dalish, Grim and Skinner to deal with the bandits on the eastern road; I'll go with Rocky, Stitches and Rush here to check out the ship."

"You sure, Chief? This could turn rotten real fast. Shouldn't we be there as backup?" Krem looked at him, worried.

"Eh, I'm not some weak human in need of coddling. I'll be fine," he growled playfully and dismissed his lieutenant's worries.

Krem accepted with a weak grin, "Just don't get your horns stuck underwater, then."

As the conversation descended into what Rush now realized was their usual playful banter, she leaned back in her chair and looked around the tavern once more. The rest of the Chargers sat around playing cards (or challenging all passerby humans to duels, in Skinner's case) and were generally a loud and happy bunch of mercs. The rest of the inn patrons didn't pay them any attention, too consumed by their own drinks or games.

With a smile, she stood up and went to join Skinner. Time to see if she can make friends with the… brusque elf too. And maybe get some tips on fighting with daggers before she had to face Krem in that promised training session. Because, if you're not cheating, you're not trying, right?


	7. Chapter 7

The next morning found Rush ready to take on the challenges of the day.

She woke up comfortable in… an admittedly crappy bed, but with a strange feeling of elation and safety. For the first time since she realized she was a mage. She had enough coin not to worry about her next meal, with enough left over to feel good about her future. She had roof over her head, and best of all, no one was actively trying to drive her out of here.

There was still Rylan, of course, but the troubles of Circle and the Mage Rebellion seemed so far away, they might as well be happening on another world. She rose from bed full of energy, put on the old, ill-fitting leather armor she pulled off some bandit corpse a long time ago, went down to get breakfast and join her Chief on their journey to the Storm Coast.

The moment she stepped foot outside her room, the Iron Bull's door opened as well. Rush turned, a polite greeting on her lips, but froze when she noticed who stepped out.

It was one of the serving girls.

Marissa if she remembered correctly, who brought them drinks yesterday. Her neck was covered in huge purple love bites, the bodice of her dress had torn laces and she was walking strangely, but she also wore the biggest, most satisfied smile Rush ever remembered seeing.

Rush watched incredulously as Marissa waved back at Bull in his room, smirked at his sleepy grunt and  _swaggered_  downstairs.

That… was a surprise.

Didn't Qunari have something against sex? Or… at least against relationships. But then, that thing there didn't seem serious; more like a one-night stand. She blushed and pulled the leather jacket closer to her body, then aimed for the stairs as well. She was definitely no innocent herself, so she knew about… taking comfort in the arms of another. But it was still surprising to see the results of such a  _passionate_  interlude, first thing in the morning.

She couldn't imagine having a man that  _big_  above her. How would that even work? The Iron Bull was just… too much. Too much of  _everything_.

She sat down at the closest table in the common room, ordering breakfast from the surly bartender. She poured herself a tankard full of water and realized with shock that her fingers shook a little as she lifted it to her lips.

How long she sat there holding that tankard, she had no idea. She also couldn't figure out why the sight of the serving girl shocked her so much, but it did. The approaching voices of Dalish and Skinner woke her, and she hastily grabbed a fork to stuff a piece of already cold scrambled eggs into her mouth.

"Good morning, Rush," Dalish chirped as soon as she saw her.

Rush only nodded and continued chewing. Then she looked back down at the plate in front of her. She couldn't even remember when the bartender brought it over, or if she even paid for the food already.

Dalish and Skinner exchanged a look, then Skinner aimed for the bar as Dalish pulled a chair close to Rush and sat down next to her. "Is everything alright?" she asked cautiously.

Rush swallowed hastily and coughed, "Fine. Just…" she waved with the fork still in her hand, almost hitting Dalish with a bit of egg, "… fine."

The elven mage looked at her with such an incredulous look that Rush couldn't help but blush.

"Breakfast, dear?" Marissa asked when she half-limped to their table.

Dalish looked at the serving girl, back at Rush and the way she wouldn't meet either of their eyes, staring down at the table and tried to suppress a smirk. She quickly ordered her own food, then turned back to her new sister in arms.

"So…" she began teasingly, "Got an eye-full, did you?"

Rush chanced a quick look at the girl sitting next to her, then sighed heavily. No sense denying it. "Not exactly. Just watched her walk out of Bull's room." She was behaving like an idiot and knew it. Still, she somehow couldn't get over the surprise.

Dalish stayed silent for a while. Just when Rush started to wonder if she said something wrong, she leaned in and spoke quietly, so only Rush would hear her. "Don't worry. Bull is a good man; he'd never ask for anything you wouldn't be willing to give. Plus, there are always more than enough serving girls that want him so he'd never even suggest anything unless you do."

Rush lifted her head to stare at Dalish in shock. "N…no! That's not… I'm not worried about  _that_!"

"Really?" Dalish stared at her, unconvinced. "Our Chief can be terrifying when he wants to be. There's no need to hide it if you're scared of him."

Rush expelled the breath she unconsciously held. "I'm not. It was just a surprise. I didn't think Qunari had sex with humans. Or wanted to."

Dalish hesitated for a second, then light of understanding entered her eyes and she suppressed a giggle. "Let's just say he's a special case," she smirked knowingly.

Rush resisted the urge to cross arms over her chest.

"Anyway, Bull will be down soon enough. If you have any problems, you should talk to him about it." At Rush's disbelieving stare, Dalish lost the fight with herself and giggled, "No, seriously. He cares about his people and doesn't like to let things fester too long. If you don't want him to deal with it himself, you better get over your 'surprise' before he comes down."

Rush palmed her red face, mortified. "Thanks for the advice," she croaked.

"No problem." Dalish chirped. "Enjoy your mission on the Storm Coast," she added with a knowing smirk and stood up to rejoin Skinner at the bar.

Rush shook herself, trying to get the vivid imagery of the Iron Bull above her… or  _any other woman, not her_ , out of her head.

By the time Bull came down, she managed to finish her breakfast and put the matter behind her. Mostly. Still, she couldn't help but blush when she saw him stretch arms above his head as he went to the bar to get his own food.

To get her mind off of things, she pulled out a piece of cloth and started polishing her daggers. They were old and battered enough when she found them; she couldn't afford to neglect their upkeep.

She lost herself in a trance-like state, her complete focus on every detail of her weapons.

When she lifted her head a while later, it was to see Bull watching her work. His stare made her feel… strangely aware of herself, but before she could ask what was wrong, he turned back to his food.

She shrugged her shoulders and turned her attention back to the task at hand.

Some time later, the rest of their team was prepared to leave as well. They gathered around Bull, who stood with purpose and grabbed his axe, throwing it over his shoulder with a grin.

"Ready, Chargers?"

"Ready!" his men shouted.

"Then let's move! Horns up!"

Krem gestured at his team, who followed him out to deal with their task, while Bull led his team out of the tavern… to the market?

"Chief?" Rocky asked the huge man uncertainly. "Shouldn't we be on our way to the Coast?"

"We will be, soon," Bull agreed amicably and led them to an armor stall. Rush suddenly had a weird feeling this was about her, which only intensified as Bull added, "But there is one issue we need to deal with before we go."

He turned to Rush, "I've noticed you don't seem very comfortable in that armor, Rush. Any reason you won't get a better set now you can afford it?"

"Habit, I guess? The more you wear a set, the more comfortable it gets, right?" She tried to quip, but it fell flat. Especially since it was such a blatant lie. When Bull just continued to stare at her, she sighed and admitted, "I'm saving money. I don't want to waste gold unless I absolutely have to."

Bull threw one look at Rocky and Stitches who stayed behind to give them more privacy, then he led her gently by the elbow to the stall. "Any special reason for that?"

She hesitated for a second, then decided to tell the truth, since it was not particularly dangerous. Just private. "After… my escape, I sold something important to get money for food and basic amenities until I could earn enough coin to survive. Now that I'm safe, I want to buy it back, if I can."

"What was it?"

Rush looked around, but nobody was paying them any special attention. She lowered her voice anyway. "My Spirit Blade." She realized Bull might not know much about Knight-Enchanters, so she explained, "It's part of the initiation into the ranks of Knight-Enchanters. It's a lazurite blade hilt that contains a willing spirit and can create a very powerful blade."

"Wouldn't using it make it obvious you were a mage?" Bull asked neutrally.

She sighed. "It would, true. But I don't really want it back to use it. It's… You see, a Knight-Enchanter can only ever create one spirit blade. No other spirit will answer your call, once you've bound one to your weapon. The one who heard my call, who was bound to my blade, was a spirit of Valor. The same spirit who helped me get through my Harrowing." She smiled at the old memory, "Most spirits try to help mages during this test by giving them weapons. Staves. But Valor, the moment we met, took one look at me and offered me his sword. Ever since then, he was… is… my friend."

Rush looked down at the armor and weapons laid out on the stand nearby, then closed her eyes. "I wouldn't have sold him, if I had any other choice. We had to separate, otherwise the templars could have tracked me by energy signature of the blade alone, just as easily as they could track my phylactery. If I hid him somewhere, he'd be found and 'confiscated' by the templars, meaning I'd never see him again. He was safest with a merchant - at least this way, I have a chance to buy him back." She sighed and added pragmatically, "Plus, I needed the coin."

Bull came to stand beside her. "How much to buy the blade back, then?"

Rush snorted, "That's the problem. As you might have noticed, ever since this war started, prices went up. A lot. Gold isn't worth as much as it used to be. The merchant I sold my blade to promised me he'll hold it for five years… but he'll also ask for more coin, since he knows how important it is to me. So, considering current prices, I'd estimate… three thousand gold. Maybe more."

Bull whistled.

"Yes, well. I better work hard, right?" She hugged herself but smiled anyway. Including the pay from her first mission with Krem, she currently had about five hundred at her disposal. But she also needed to pay for food and lodgings. So… it might take her a year, to earn that much, if she resisted the urge to spend her savings on things she didn't need.

Like new armor.

She heard Bull sigh behind her and bowed her head. She knew having proper equipment was crucial in this line of job, but unless it literally threatened her life, she was determined to use armor and weapons she found on the bandits she was sent to kill, and not waste money on new things.

"Very well." Bull said from behind her, and she sighed with relief. Then she jumped and stared at him in shock, as he continued, "I will buy you a set, then."

"No, I can't ask you to do that…" she tried to protest, but Bull interrupted her in a kind, but uncompromising voice.

"You're not asking. I'm offering." He saw that she was still not ready to accept, so he added gently, "I will not place my men in danger, not even if they insist on being stubborn. Consider it an investment and a welcome gift to the Chargers."

Rush stared at him for a moment, valiantly resisting the urge to cry. Why was it that this man surprised her so much with everything he did? She knew he had a deep well of kindness in him even before she joined the Chargers. It was simply much more… intense, to be the one he turned his attention to. Throat too tight to speak and heart clenched in her chest, she simply nodded.

He smiled down at her and led her to the merchant, who just finished trading with another customer. "Let's get you outfitted, then."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Little bit of... awareness never hurts, right? ;)


	8. Chapter 8

The way to the Storm Coast has been surprisingly quiet so far. Bull's team barely had to fight at all, they way impeded only by some wild animals, and that was how Bull liked it. Sure, some excitement would be good, but if he had to choose between quiet journeys and imagining his men battling giants without his help, it was better if the journey was quiet.

He still felt cold shivers run down his spine when he thought that Krem might have been killed on that 'routine' Emerald Graves mission.

It seemed this girl, Rush, attracted trouble whether she intended to or not. Thankfully it also seemed she had the skills to get herself out of trouble, and more importantly, get the rest of her team out of trouble as well. He wondered what she'd be like as a leader. Somehow, he had the feeling her leading style wouldn't be that different from his own.

All in all, she seemed to fit in nicely. Still a bit reserved around them, but that was only to be expected.

But there was a more important matter that… intrigued him. Rush  _respected_  him.

This reaction to one's leader was something only the Qunari had - the men who served under him on Seheron or back in Par Volen. Even with them, he had to prove himself to be capable first, before he was given the respect he was due.

Rush… when she told him about her 'research', he read several things in her. Most he already suspected. But the respect in her eyes when she looked at him, the way she let him read her even though she found it invasive…

When did he manage to win her over?

Bull couldn't remember the exact time, and that was disconcerting. He always knew when he stopped being the 'big stupid brute' to his men and became their Chief, but with Rush, it almost seemed as if she already respected him before they even first met. Once more, he wondered if she was Ben-Hassrath, despite knowing that it was impossible.

Anyway, she was capable. Two missions under her belt and Bull already had a good opinion of her fighting skills. Now the only thing he needed was to analyze what unique skills, if any, she had that would benefit his team. Until then, he was glad to have another mage around, even if she didn't fight like one.

Strange, perhaps, that he would prefer to have a mage with him, considering the way the Qun viewed those who possessed the talent, but he was first and foremost a Ben-Hassrath. And they were taught to use anything they could, even if they were not allowed to use mages while on Seheron. Sure, there were several Arvaraads with their charges, but they used the Saarebas the same way one would a blackpowder cannon - aim and shoot, nothing more. It was not the same as fighting alongside a free-thinking mage.

He sometimes thought that the fighting back on Seheron might have gone differently, had there been at least a couple unbound mages on their side.

He looked back at his men and found them valiantly keeping up with his fast tempo. At this rate, they will reach Storm Coast today. Rush kept close to both Rocky and Stitches, all the while scanning their surroundings for any potential danger. Bull approved of her caution, even if it was his job to keep them safe. She will have to learn to trust them, if they were to work together.

Bull stared at the path ahead of them, watching the first rocky caves and steep slopes that signaled the beginning of the Coast when movement to the right caught his attention.

He slowed down and watched the thick woods just past the clearing they stood on. His instincts told him the sound wasn't caused by mere beasts. His hand went to grab the handle of his axe.

There was a tense moment of silence.

Then arrows came flying out of the thick foliage and barely missed his head. Bull cursed and readied for the fight. He heard more than saw his team get ready as well, then felt the cool, comforting blanket of Rush's barrier cover him head to toe. ' _Good girl'_ , he thought, even as he scanned their surroundings for the enemy.

They came into view soon enough. Tall, misshaped figures carrying filthy half-broken weapons. Rotten skin pulled taut across deformed skulls.

"Darkspawn," Stitches snarled and readied an arrow.

The tallest hurlock raised its maul threateningly and roared, while several archers aimed at them again. The rest of the monsters followed its leader in his charge.

Bull answered with his own roars and charged. Seeing this, Rocky pulled his own daggers but stayed back to throw small flasks of experimental explosives at the monsters, while Stitches engaged the archers. And Rush… was trying to outrun him.

Bull almost interrupted his charge to pull her back. Capable she might be, but that was no reason to risk herself and try to get in front of him. He needed no other fighter to protect him, he was just fine taking hits and returning some of his own to…

She ran up next to him, stretched out one empty hand, and  _blasted all nearby darkspawn with a wave of sharp ice_.

Half the charging Hurlocks were impaled, the other half froze on spot, and even their huge leader was moving much slower. Their archers froze too, but from shock rather than magic.

Rush met Bull's incredulous eye and yelled, "What are you waiting for? Shatter them!" Then she pulled out her other dagger, ran up to the closest hurlock and used all the strength she shouldn't possess to stab through the ice. The hurlock's body… broke around the wound.

Bull grinned and hefted his axe. Then he brought it down with all his might to smash the next hurlock's head. "Yeah! Shatter! I see what you mean!" he shouted with a happy laugh as he gleefully broke another spawn's body before he turned his attention back to their leader.

Rush paused for a second to stare at the scattered brains of the first hurlock Bull shattered and the body's mangled, oozing hole where the head used to be. Seemed the Iron Bull liked her frost spells… She shrugged her shoulders, "I see where this is heading."

Bull laughed outright at that and smashed his axe into the Hurlock leader again. "Yeah, this is great! So let's hand out a couple more splitting headaches!"

His only answer was a snort as she continued to shatter the frozen bodies.

The rest of the darkspawn screeched in anger, but still considered Bull to be a more dangerous target, despite the way Rush was decimating their ranks. With Bull and Rush attacking directly and Rocky with Stitches for support, most of the spawn were soon on the run. The moment Bull delivered the final crushing blow to their leader's head, the last of the darkspawn gave up the fight and ran.

Bull slowed down and threw the axe over his shoulder.

While letting the rest of the darkspawn escape was not the ideal end to this fight, they had more important matters to attend to than chase after the beasts who would no doubt lead them back to their nest. And lead them to a lot more darkspawn – probably more than they could handle.

He turned back to check on his team, when he noticed the way Rush grinned at the spawn's retreating backs.

This time, he decided not to jump to any conclusions and just trust her; he wanted to wait and see what she had planned.

Rush raised a hand and gathered power in one palm, then shouted over her shoulder, "Hey, Rocky! Watch this!" and threw  _a big-ass fireball_  at the retreating monsters.

The fireball exploded on impact and swallowed the entire group stupidly running close together in a huge wall of molten flame. The darkspawn gave one last screech and fell. Bull grinned at both the smell of burning spawn and the way Rocky shouted with glee.

"Now that's what I call an ending move," he commented idly as the panting girl came to stand beside him.

She grinned up at him, "Ending? With spells like these, you only need  _one_  move."

"You could use them more often, you know." He told her gently. Having a skilled mage who fought like a mage would be useful.

Her shoulders hunched a bit and he knew he pressed too hard. "I'd rather not. The marks it leaves are kind of… obvious." She waved her hand at the clearing around them.

Bull looked around and immediately saw what she meant. The spikes of ice weren't melting… or even breaking under the weight of impaled darkspawn, and the ground around the burned bodies was completely black from magical fire. It was obvious that a mage passed through here. Not to mention the unique sharp tang of magic and pure power that now clung to Rush's form.

If the templars had at least one capable tracker who spotted this carnage, it would be easy to follow it back to its source. To Rush.

It would be useful to have a mage around, one who threw spells at their enemies, but… not at the cost of their teammate's safety.

He nodded to her and when he saw her shoulders relax, went to check on the rest of his team before they aimed for the Coast.

They still had a job to do, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: That strange moment when a Qunari likes spells more than a mage does…


	9. Chapter 9

"…I really don't mind rain, but this cold misery is trying my patience," Rush muttered under her breath as she pushed sopping wet hair out of her eyes, pulled the leather armor closer to her body and desperately tried to keep up with Bull's fast tempo.

At least the other members weren't faring much better.

Poor Rocky almost had to run to keep up with their Chief's long strides. Only Stitches didn't seem too bothered. But then, from what she knew of the man, there weren't many things, aside from Darkspawn it seemed, that bothered him. In the short time she's been near him, she has never seen him become truly excited over anything. There was something to be said about composure. Maybe he'll teach her his trick someday?

Still, Stitches wasn't nearly as surprising or interesting as the Iron Bull.

Despite the way he accepted her as a Charger, she still thought he will have a problem with her magic. She expected awkward silences every time they had to spend more than a couple minutes together, or for him to watch her when he thought she wasn't looking, just waiting for her to turn into a demon. Instead, he actually wanted her to use her powers more. More than even she was ready for. That was… something. She didn't know whether to be pleased or uncomfortable.

She settled on pleased.

Rush now felt more certain than ever that she wanted to be a Charger, for as long as she could. So long as Iron Bull led them, she had no problem being a mercenary.  _His_  mercenary.

"Here we are," Bull commented idly as he took a deep breath of the salty sea air.

Rocky bowed down, put his hands on his knees and panted. Seeing he won't be able to speak anytime soon, Stitches asked, "What exactly are we looking for, Chief?"

Iron Bull grinned and gestured at the entire Storm Coast, "A crashed ship."

All three of them groaned. The Storm Coast was full of crashed ships no one ever bothered to clear out. The most clear-up anyone ever did was when scavengers or mercenary groups like them came to salvage precious cargo. Finding the correct ship would be like searching for an elf in an alienage. You'll find a heap of them, but never the right one.

"Any way to tell which one?" she asked dryly, amused despite herself.

"Sure," he agreed amicably, giving up on his teasing. For now. "We're searching for a ship with a carved crest and a flag of the Adlebrent family. It looks like a nug on top of a bag of money."

Rush couldn't help it; she snorted.

Bull's grin got wider, "As far as crests go, that's not even the craziest or stupidest one I've seen. Orlesians always need to be original, even if it makes them look idiotic."

"It's times like these I'm glad I'm not Orlesian." She commented idly with a smile.

Rocky finally found his breath and looked up at Rush, "That's right! You're a Marcher noble. Are they that different?"

Rush paused for a second. How did they know she was a…? Oh. Krem or Bull must have done some background research on her as well. "Not really." She admitted readily. "Marchers might not be as flashy, but they are still nobles. Ridiculous one-upmanship is kind of their thing."

"Really?" Rocky's eyebrows climbed up at the frank way she said that. As if he expected her to get defensive. Rush frankly didn't see the point. She was not a noble anymore, not really. "But aren't you…"

Rush snorted. "Hardly. I might have joined the Circle later than usual, only once I was fifteen, but I gave up on being a noble long before then. Really, I'm no more noble than you."

"Hey! I resent that. I'll have you know that I'm definitely a noble." Rocky waved a fist at her mockingly, but smiled anyway. "Proper deshyr and everything. Or… at least I used to be."

Stitches inserted with a snort, "Until you blew up the Shaperate."

"Not the whole thing!" Rocky defended himself feebly. "Maybe just a couple shelves. Not like anyone was reading those books anyway. Really, I just gave them… more space. To do their research properly."

"Yeah, well, you'll have your chance to 'make space' here on the coast, soon." Bull interjected not unkindly before they could get lost in bickering. "Once we salvage the ship, you can blow it up right and proper."

Bull and Rocky exchanged a grin, while Stitches only rolled his eyes at them with a long suffering sigh. "I'll stay here with Rocky," Stitches added dryly. "Make sure he doesn't blow himself up preparing his fiery little surprises."

"Right," Bull agreed, "Have fun, men, and be ready to blow shit up when we signal you."

"Will do, boss," they saluted him.

Bull started walking and Rush followed close behind. "Now, this could get ugly, so we need to set some ground rules," he said and turned to face her.

Rush only nodded. She wondered what kind of rules he wanted to set. Hopefully not something like 'Don't touch anything'. That would make investigating a bit hard.

"Stay close enough for me to hear you if something goes wrong. We're going to salvage anything that looks even remotely valuable, but the main goal is to find a sack…"

"Sack?" she couldn't help but ask him incredulously.

He only grinned. "Sack full of jewels." Oh. That explained it, she thought with a mental eye-roll.  _Orlesians_. "But there is more. As I'm sure you noticed, there are some issues with our orders that just don't fit, making me suspect that finding the sack is not our actual goal here. So, keep an eye out for anything that looks out of place. If you find something, call me over and we'll check it together. Understood?"

"Yes, Chief," Rush agreed readily.

These rules were actually much better than what she hoped for. She was not used to people treating her… like a person, really. First she was the overlooked last daughter of a minor noble family, not even good enough to barter away in a prestigious marriage, then a mage and so not trusted with anything more complicated than lighting a candle. Most days not even that.

And now she had a Qunari mercenary captain trust her with an investigation.

She felt a wave of warmth spread over her chest. Bull just continued to surprise her. These few days of knowing him revealed a kind and competent man who looked out for his people, but still allowed them enough freedom to do their jobs properly. Honestly, that was better than the way most husbands treated their wives. She'd bet that if they ever had sex, he'd treat her…

Her thoughts screeched to a halt.

Where did  _that_  come from?

Sure, she noticed his… powerful physique, she'd have to be blind not to, but that was nothing more than simply enjoying the view. A natural reaction to seeing such a well-built man walking around shirtless. Or watching a bow-legged serving girl leave his room with a huge smile on her face. Completely natural. But a few brief spikes of lust were not enough to make her consider letting someone that close. Not even for one night.

Definitely not  _only_  for one night.

So no matter how delicious he might look shirtless, there was no way they would…

Bull paused and turned back to her when he noticed her falling behind. "What's the matter, Rush? The Coast too rough for you, oh noble lady?"

Rush looked at him, half-turned towards her as he was, with his huge, muscular arm on display… and blushed. Bull's raised eyebrow and answering grin only made her blush harder. She hurried to catch up to him, trying to hide how shaken she felt, without much success. "Hardly. I just haven't been here before. I was merely enjoying the view." 'Oh, wait, that sounded like…'

"I bet you were," he grinned at her mortified look. "You can enjoy the view later. Now let's find the ship, shall we?"

If her blush got any worse, she'd burst into flames, despite the cold as ice rain. "Yes, Chief," she murmured. Seemed the safest thing to say right now. Only after she said it and saw Bull's grin grow even wider did she realize it kind of implied she wanted to 'enjoy the view' later. Dammit, there really was no way to safely get out of this. She shut her mouth and decided to stay quiet for now.

They found the ship easily enough, all things considered. It was hidden just behind the bend, pressed into the steep rocks.

Rush wondered how exactly it got there; the waves wouldn't have pushed an entire, unbroken ship this far. The huge hole molded perfectly into the shape of the rocky cliff suggested that it was here that the ship crashed.

But that was impossible.

Not only did the ship only 'reappear' now, it was also supposed to end its journey in the bay, not this far north. What was the captain doing, when he crashed this far away from his goal? The fiercest storm couldn't be blamed for navigating into this cliff. Her eyes narrowed in suspicion, then she looked at Bull.

He seemed just as suspicious as her. For some reason, that gave her comfort. At least she won't have to try and persuade her leader to examine things closely. But then, they both came here suspecting something wrong already.

"Let's get to it, then," Bull stated grimly, aiming in the direction of the hole in the ship's side. Rush quietly followed behind him.

They climbed inside through the stinking seaweeds that gathered on the rim, easily finding purchase on the rocks and the broken planks. Once inside, they looked around the lower deck. It was full of crates, ropes and other supplies. How come no one came to take these supplies away yet?

"Bull?" Rush asked pensively. When he turned his massive head towards her, she continued, "When exactly did this ship crash?"

He gave her a thoughtful look, "About two weeks ago."

Rush couldn't keep the questions inside her any longer. "This is a bit too… easy. How come the ship has been here for two weeks and only now were we sent to salvage? Why did no one come to take it apart before, when it was so easy to get inside? How could it have 'reappeared', when it's obvious that this is where it crashed? What is it doing so far away from the bay? If everyone died here, then where are all the bodies?"

Bull waited patiently for her to run out of questions, then turned to look around once more. "Those are all excellent questions, Rush. I'm hoping we'll find more answers inside the cabins." He turned to look at her and when he noticed her worried expression, he smiled softly and put his hand on her shoulder, "We will solve this."

Rush nodded to him, grateful for the support.

With nothing more to say, they got to work.

At least in this, Rush felt she already had some experience. Navigating Circle politics for years has taught her to look for anything that didn't fit. She hoped she could make herself useful.

The hull of the ship held nothing of interest. A few molding crates and ropes, some supplies that weren't worth much to anyone but the most desperate scavengers. If there was more to be found about the cause of crashing, it would not be here.

She turned to go, but paused and looked around once more. Some of the crates and chests looked intact. No one but some thieves will ever come by to take anything useful. And not even they will have the chance to take it away, as Rocky was already preparing his explosives. Maybe she could take a few useful things with her?

She looked around, but Bull was already ahead, climbing the stairs. Instead of following, Rush went over to the closest chest and tried to open it. Locked.

She took a careful look around, but as expected, she was alone here, with Bull's heavy footsteps echoing somewhere above her. She pulled her tools out of the discreet pocket in her new leathers and got to work.

At times like these, she was glad she hid her powers from her family for so long. It gave her the opportunity to learn how to be something else, aside from being a mage. Too bad her parents eventually found out, or she might have managed to stay away from the Circle her entire life.

The chest contained some pots and pans, dried herbs (now soaked through and turning black), some books so heavily damaged they were unreadable… and several vials of poison. She grinned and pocketed them for later. Would make for some nice extra pay. Or maybe she'd give them to Skinner, for all her advice on wielding dagger from before.

Several chests and caskets of useless garbage later, she found something strange. It was a qunari-sized harness, something that could only be the famous Vitaar paint used by the Qunari and several strange smelling jars full of an unknown balm. What were these supplies doing here? Did ships like this routinely employ Qunari warriors to protect them?

She decided to bring this to her Chief's attention later and pocketed a couple of the jars; maybe the Iron Bull could use them.

Then she moved up the stairs with purpose. Time to find out what really happened here.


	10. Chapter 10

Rush made her way through the upper parts of the ship, where the cabins were situated. She took a look inside most of them, but didn't see anything truly interesting. Most of them were a mess - things broken and in disarray from the force of the ship's crash against the rocky cliff. Curiously, there were still no bodies to be found. A couple barely passable weapons and less costly valuables that had little potential, but no clues.

Then she entered the cabin specially set for the noble family, the ship owners. She found Bull on his knee, bent over a rotting, smelly corpse. Corpse in ruined but obviously expensive noble dress of Orlesian style.

This must be the wife, then.

"Found any clues?" she asked quietly so as not to disturb his thinking.

Bull lifted his head, but didn't turn towards her, obviously still deep in thought. "I did," he said eventually. "But I don't think they are the ones we are looking for." He gestured her to get closer and she took several careful steps towards him, trying not to disturb anything.

"What is it?" she asked uncertainly as she stepped closer.

"Take a look," he gestured at the corpse.

Rush did. The sight of the corpse was disgusting, true, but there must have been something else that Bull wanted her to see. She knelt down next to him and took a good look.

The first thing that she noticed was the dagger in the corpse's chest. So Lady Adlebrent was murdered, then. That complicated things. She looked closer still and saw that the dagger had the crest of the Adlebrent family crest on its hilt. A chill ran down her spine.

She opened her mouth… then paused. If Lord Adlebrent truly murdered his wife, he wouldn't leave the dagger with his family crest behind. Especially in the heart of the wife he just murdered. If Rush was in his shoes, she'd throw the murder weapon overboard. No one would ever find it at the bottom of the ocean, right? In fact, why not just throw the corpse overboard too? The fact that it seemed so clear he murdered her actually made it seem  _less_  like he murdered her.

She looked at Bull and found him watching her with a knowing look.

"So, not a crime of passion, I take it?" she asked in a dry voice. This was just too calculated.

"No, probably not." He agreed quietly.

"Did you find anything else?"

"No. There is still the captain's cabin to go through, but it seems the murderer covered his tracks well." Bull said, still deep in thought.

"'His'?" She asked him with a raised eyebrow. How did he know it was a man? Could have just as easily been a woman.

"The dagger is in her chest, not back. It must have been someone she trusted to come close to her, even with a weapon drawn, otherwise there would be either signs of a fight, or it would be in her back as she either tried to run away or didn't know about the murderer at all. So, it was a lover, probably." He finished in a carefully blank voice.

"How do you know her lover was not a woman?"

He gave her an approving look, despite the fact that she questioned him, "The attacker went for the heart. And managed to pierce between the ribs in both the right spot and with enough force to kill instantly. A woman wouldn't have the muscle strength to do that and would go for either the unprotected middle or the throat." He gestured at the way the body laid on the ground, "This is the work of a warrior, one used to piercing enemy guard. And Lord Adlebrent does not employ female guards."

Rush thought for a second, then nodded. It made sense. This also made her wonder about Bull's past - he seemed a bit too good at this for it to be the first time he dealt with murder. It wasn't something mercenary captains usually had to solve; that was a job for the guard. She will have to ask him about it sometimes.

There was nothing more they could read from the corpse. She stood up to take a look around the cabin. It was surprisingly well preserved, considering the rest of the ship. There were several locked chests, a comfortable bed, even a lady's toilette stand with an impressive mirror, mysteriously not broken. Rush went to check the mirror. It reminded her of the thing one of her older sisters had back at the Trevelyan estate.

"Something wrong, Rush?" Bull asked from behind her.

"Not… exactly." She began, hesitating. At his encouraging nod, she continued, "I know mirrors like these. My sister had one. She used to hide love notes from her sweetheart inside."

Bull came to stand beside her, a strangely comforting presence. "How did she manage that?"

"There was a latch hidden in the ornaments. It could be used to, well, open the mirror to get to the secret space behind it." She went to look at where the mirror stood against the wall. "The wood at the back is too thick to be made only for the mirror. I think there is a secret space between the mirror and the back."

Bull grinned at her, "Nice. Try to open it."

Rush only nodded, lost in thought, and tried to remember how her sister did it. Her fingers skimmed over the beautifully carved ornamentation along the rim. This mirror was slightly different, but not so much that it would be unrecognizable. There should be a latch or a button somewhere around… here!

A slight press of her finger in the centre of a wooden flower and a quiet click signaled the unlocking of the mechanism. A small handle popped out of the woodwork, which she used to gently pull the mirror open.

There were several things inside. Brass keys hanging on small nails, a couple coins in one corner, some very small knick-knacks… and a thin diary. She picked the diary up and turned to Bull with a triumphant smile.

He smiled back at her and she felt warmth spread on her cheeks. "Good job, Rush." Then he looked behind her at the secret space, specifically the keys. "I'll try to unlock the chests and search for the jewels; you read the diary to see if we can find a clue about the murderer."

She nodded and went to sit on the bed to make herself comfortable.

The diary was written in the typical looping scrawl of an Orlesian noblewoman.

It seemed to date to the beginning of the lady's marriage to Lord Adlebrent, back when she was just a Miss Anabelle Poutouille, the spoiled brat of an extremely rich but minor noble family. A woman who wanted and cared for nothing and seemed to find it unjust she had to marry a man someone else chose for her. From her writings, though, it seemed her husband was not exactly pleased with the match either. But, in true Orlesian fashion, the match was deemed more important than personal feelings, and so she was 'happily' married off at the tender age of nineteen. A tale as old as Orlesian nobility.

Rush skipped through several very detailed chapters describing mostly the lady's suffering in her new mansion. And the way her husband didn't seem to want her enough to at least give her an heir. While touching in places, it was covered in selfish rants about how the bath water was too cold today and how she had to personally beat the servant girl because no one else seemed capable of exercising 'discipline' over the 'useless knife-ears'. Several pages later, she had almost no sympathy left for the woman.

Rush skimmed through more pages, until a passage caught her attention.

—

_Today was a special day. I met a man that finally makes my lonely heart beat faster._

_After that terrible fright I had two days ago, I could barely sleep or stomach any of the mediocre garbage the servants cook, so my husband finally listened to my advice on how we should tighten our security. Just imagine, being robbed in front of my own house!_

_Krestus hired someone he called a 'specialist' who will be the new captain of our guard. We will finally have our own captain of the guard! It was high time we hired one. If my_ husband _wasn't so stingy with his precious gold, we would have had one ages ago. Still, he couldn't have made a better choice if he tried._

_Louis is the most charming man I've ever met. He treated me with all the respect I deserve and kissed my hand, as is proper. I still feel the tingling in my fingers from where his lips touched me. He is beautiful, with long, blonde hair and bright green eyes. And those muscles! Oh, I mustn't think on it anywhere else but in my room, or my husband might think I actually desire_ _**him** _ _._

_The only thing that bothers me is that he does not come from proper stock. Why, I couldn't find any mention of the Croux family in any of the genealogy section of our library! But then, a captain of the guard does not need a title. Not if he moves the way Loius does. Like a big cat on the prowl. Almost like the thief who took my coin - and, oh my, what a strange comparison is that to make!_

_Still, that man is undeniably attractive. I believe I will postpone the journey to our summer estate and watch the guards train more often from now on._

—

Her eyebrows climbed up. That sounded like the man who hired them to salvage the ship. There was something very wrong about hiring mercenaries to clear out a ship where the obviously infatuated wife of your employer died and not even ask for the body to be retrieved. Skipping through several entries showed how the lady was becoming more and more obsessed with the strapping young guard captain… and eventually began a secret love affair with him.

She turned the diary pages with flaming cheeks. Some of those entries were rather… graphic.

Then the entries got much darker. Anabelle was becoming more and more unsatisfied with her marriage and it clearly showed. She started to mention her desire to run away to live a life of romance and luxury with her lover, Louis. That was also the first time the missing jewels were mentioned.

She sighed and Bull turned towards her. When their eyes met, she turned to sit on the edge of the bed and waved him over with the diary, "Bull? I've found something."

Bull looked up at her and went to join her on the bed. The moment he sat down, she handed him the diary, opened at the proper page.

He took it from her and started reading while Rush looked around the room once again. Before she could find anything interesting, though, Bull's snort attracted her attention. "What is it?"

Bull just gave her an innocent look. "Oh, nothing much. It's just too bad I wasn't there for her; I could have done it better."

"Huh?" She stared at him, uncomprehending.

Bull smirked and started reading aloud in a mockingly high Orlesian accent, " _Louis kissed me so very gently, then lowered his head to lick my…_ "

"Not that!" Her cheeks erupted with a fierce blush. She flailed in panic and tried to grab the diary.

Unfortunately for her, Bull only pulled it away from her and she almost fell on top of him. Only her outstretched hands saved her from falling, but that didn't make her feel any better, as they ended up splayed over his muscular chest. She felt the strong muscle under her fingers, looked up to see Iron Bull's devilish smirk and pulled her hand back as if burned.

What was wrong with her today?!

She coughed and straightened, trying to recover her dignity and said as calmly as she could, "Th-the other page. It mentions the missing jewels."

She pointed him the part where Anabelle wrote down her plans to take every piece of jewelry she owned and run away with her lover on her family ship.

Bull stopped teasing and his eye narrowed as he stared down at the diary. Then he snorted, "Ten gold says her 'lover' killed her to get the jewels."

"I'm not taking that bet," Rush said quietly, thinking. "Why make the ship crash, though? It would be much better for the murderer to… I don't know, throw her overboard and claim the ship for his own, wouldn't it?"

"Not if he planned to return to his employer. This is the man Adlebrent sent to hire us, right?" Bull turned to look around the cabin, "Selling a ship is no easy matter. It would take time. A short absence can be explained with any number of excuses, but anything longer than a week would be questioned." He sighed and looked back at the diary. "It would make more sense to make the ship crash and kill everyone on board, than to try and sell it."

"Where are all the corpses, then?" she almost looked around as if the bodies would pop out of the chests at any time.

"That's what we need to figure out," her Chief said as he stood up. "Well, that and find the jewels."

"Yes, the missing jewels…" she repeated quietly. It seemed less and less likely that they will find them. They were probably already sold… Meaning they will probably fail this job.

She suddenly remembered an incident from several years ago. One of the old enchanters sent her to bring him a precious manuscript from the archives. Manuscript which she found burned. She was then used as a scapegoat when she came back with the damaged book, as no one else was around when she found it and everyone insisted they didn't damage the thing, so she must be the culprit. She had to do a  _lot_  of favors to 'pay back for the damage she caused'. "Bull?"

"What is it?"

"I think the lord or the captain are trying to accuse us of stealing the jewels."

His eyes narrowed in suspicion, but he didn't seem to disagree. If anything, he considered her words. "What makes you say that?"

"Well, they sent us to find one thing, which they say no one else could have possibly found and taken, since the ship only 'reappeared' now. We are alone here, with none of Lord Adlebrent's guards to keep an eye on us. Who's to say we didn't steal the jewels? There's no way to prove we didn't."

She started pacing up and down the cabin, "This must be just another insurance so the murderer can't be blamed. The Lady was killed with her husband's dagger, while the jewels are missing and the only people around are the mercenaries. And no one trusts mercenaries, right? 'Probably tried to fake the murder to hide their own crimes', that's what they'll say. They'll accuse us of creating a fake murder scene, instead of admitting she could have been murdered. And if we by some miracle proved she  _was_  actually murdered, the blame would simply fall on Lord Adlebrent's shoulders and we're still blamed for the missing jewels." She put her hand in her hair, not seeing a way out of this. "Crap."

Bull stood up to his full height until he loomed over her, then laid one of his large hands on her shoulder, effectively slowing her down. "Calm down, Rush." He said soothingly. "We can still solve this. We will find proof of the crime. Once we've found evidence of murder, the jewels will not seem as important." He looked at her and she was honestly a bit scared at how cold his eyes got. "Worst comes to worst, we say that Lord Adlebrent could be accused of murder and he'll back down about the jewels."

That didn't seem like a good enough plan, "How do you know that he will? Perhaps he'll be greedy enough to risk scandal and take us to court." Before he could reply, she closed her eyes, "I'm sorry, I don't mean to sound so pessimistic. But… let's search the rest of this ship first, and try to find proof about both the murder and the jewels. And who knows, if this Louis Croux really is the thief and murderer, perhaps he has not sold all the jewels yet."

Without her knowing, her eyes got just as cold as Bull's were a moment ago, as she added, "We don't really need to find them all. Just one in the right pocket will be enough."

He gave her an approving smile and squeezed her shoulder gently, "Good thinking." Seeing her blush, he only grinned, then pocketed the diary and moved towards the door.

Rush thought about all the praise she got from Bull today and how warm it made her feel. How his giant form comforted her, instead of intimidating her as it should have.

_How he made her heart beat faster despite only knowing him for a short time._

So similar to this betrayed lady.

Or maybe not. Anabelle's diary made it obvious she didn't care about Louis. She didn't respect him either. In fact, she barely even knew the man. If Rush was any judge, that thing between them was nothing more than sex, confused for a romance. Compared to that, the Iron Bull was…

Well, she didn't know what he was, but should anything ever happen between them, it will definitely be more than an affair. Much, much more. No matter how many sparks there were between them, she doubted he'd treat her as a warm hole to stick his dick into. Nor would she do that to him.

They respected each other too much for that.

She took one last look around the room, and the corpse lying in the middle of it, then turned to follow her Chief.


	11. Chapter 11

They didn't find any corpses. Somehow, that made the entire ship even creepier than if there were mangled rotting corpses spread all over the deck.

It made it seem as if everyone but the lady herself was 'on board' so to speak and managed to get away when the ship crashed. But if that was the case, then why even drag the woman away from home? Wouldn't it be easier to rob her of all her possessions in some dark alley and get it over with?

Rush really did not know what to think of this. If everyone decided to do away with the lady, it would require a lot of coordination. Way too much for this to be a simple con. Even more interestingly, it was the lady's husband himself who hired the main suspect, Louis. A 'nobody' without a title or political clout. The lord must have been aware of what was going on in his house. At least a bit. Right?

Rush followed Iron Bull into the captain's quarters and was struck by how well preserved everything looked. If it weren't for some fallen items on the floor (and the huge hole in the ship's side), she'd think that the ship docked safely. She stepped carefully over some maps, scrolls and personal knick-knacks to stand by her Chief near the desk.

"Found anything?" she whispered, not wanting to break his concentration.

Bull looked at her from the corner of his eye, then turned his attention back to the desk. "In a way." He nodded to the little thing he held in his massive palm. It was a small golden locket, chain obviously torn. The locked was open to show two small portraits. Two men in the same arrangement one would usually see in married couples. One of them a menacing Qunari, the other one the golden haired man who hired them - Louis Croux.

"Oh." Rush really didn't know what to say. While she had her suspicions, it was still a shock to have them confirmed. "Who is the other man?" she asked. There was no need to try and voice her theories. It was pretty obvious what happened now.

Bull commented nonchalantly, "Going by descriptions and wanted posters, I'd say this is Blacktalon." At her raised eyebrow, he added, "Known raider along the coasts. One who has evaded capture for over ten years and the one time he was caught, he managed to escape, richer than before."

"… and in a close relationship with our prime suspect," she deadpanned. She looked up at Bull, "Ten gold says he and his men replaced this ship's crew and later 'left' with the jewels."

"I'm not taking that bet either." They exchanged a wry smirk. "But, I think we have a good idea of what happened here. Now the only thing we need is to find and kill or capture a legendary raider," Bull grinned. "Tal-Vashoth, no less. Can't wait to face him."

"I'll be right behind you," Rush commented, looking around the captain's cabin. She completely missed the unreadable look Bull sent her way.

There were a few things that might be worth something, Rush thought as she started rifling through the captain's private chests. After several minutes of searching, she was ready to give up and move on. There was surprisingly little here - almost no personal effects, and aside from the maps and scrolls spilled on the floor, nothing worth noticing. She had hoped to find a clue about the raider's location, but that seemed to be a vain hope. Looked like they found all that could be found in this wreck.

She sighed. The evidence they gathered would have to be enough - combine the lady's diary, location and state of the ship together with the golden locket. That would have to convince Lord Adlebrent that his wife was in fact murdered. And of the identity of the murderer.

The jewels were still lost, though. She had a feeling they won't get paid for this.

They finished their search of the ship and stepped out to breathe in the clear coastal air. Rocky and Stitches were already waiting for them down on the beach, with several suspicious looking barrels all around the ship.

Rocky ran up to them, "So, how did it go? Find anything?"

Stitches followed sedately behind, but raised a curious eyebrow at them, obviously waiting for the answer as well.

Bull threw the small bag with their evidence and loot over his massive shoulder, "More than we thought we would. The noble was murdered."

Rocky cursed. Rush had a feeling that he was more disappointed about the fact that he obviously won't be able to blow the ship up and so destroy evidence than the fact that the woman was stabbed in the back. Or heart, as it were.

They started discussing their plans on what to do next. Rush wasn't really interested enough in that to listen - if there was anything she could do, Bull would tell her. Instead she looked around the coast.

She spotted some spindleweed. A lot of spindleweed, in fact. There was a veritable treasure growing on the coast, as her brief meeting with the elves taught her. Perhaps they could gather some of these herbs to sell later. She suddenly got the mental image of their Chief bending down to pick some flowers and had to bite her lip to keep from laughing.

For some reason, she thought that he wouldn't actually mind gathering herbs. He was not the type of man who needed to defend his masculinity, especially if it would cut into their profits. He was manly enough as it was.

She aimed for the thickest concentration of weeds she could see, to gather as many as she could. They might at least cover some of their losses today. She felt more than saw Bull give her back a curious look, but didn't let herself be distracted. She stepped around the ship to check if there was anything worth gathering… and that's when she spotted it.

A cave. Distant enough not to be immediately connected to the ship. Close enough that a large group of people would be able to carry and hide a ship-full of stolen goods inside under the cover of night. Great hiding spot for a group of raiders, perhaps?

It was a far fetched hope, but she wanted to investigate anyway. She truly didn't want to let the murderers win; because that's what would happen if they returned back to Lord Adlebrent with only the evidence they gathered.

Bull came to stand beside her and turned to see what she was staring at. "A cave. Lots of those on the coast." He looked at her closely, then sighed, "Even if it was used to hide the goods, it's probably abandoned now."

"Probably," she agreed. "But we might find some clues inside. Didn't you say you wanted to fight a legendary raider?" She raised her eyebrow at Bull, who smiled back.

"I did." He looked back at the cave, then grinned, "Aah, whatever. We're not expected back until tomorrow at the earliest. Let's go check it out."

Rush smiled. Maybe being a mercenary wasn't as different from adventuring as she thought.

-rushing-ahead-rushing-ahead-rushing-ahead-

They found the bodies.

As much as she thought she'd be glad when they'll find the missing crew, now Rush wished they didn't.

All of the ship's crew, piled up in one corner of the cave, stinking the whole place up so much that she had to cover her nose with a hand to stop from vomiting on the spot. That didn't seem to stop the spiders or the deepstalkers from making a meal of the corpses.

Stitches wasn't happy about it either. " _Maker_. Do you know how many diseases we could catch just from standing near those?" he pointed at the corpses with his free hand, the other clutching his nose closed. Rocky hovered in the back, throwing looks back to where they came from and where he left his barrels. Rush had no doubt he wanted to blow this whole place up. If she was honest, so did she.

Stitches turned the closest corpse over with his boot and frowned when its face and front were revealed. "No external damage. It looks like they were poisoned." He shook his head. "Even more foolish to keep them here. Don't they know the vapors alone can drive them crazy? Why would they even keep the bodies around?"

Rush suddenly remembered the vials of poison she found on the ship, right next to herbs and cooking supplies. "To creep out any intruders, maybe? Or hide evidence? Who knows why raiders do anything." At least it seemed their deaths were relatively quick and painless. Well, less painful than the deaths of their murderers will be once she'll catch up with them.

They stumbled upon several raiders on their way inside. They didn't put up much of a fight, though, and Rush was quickly loosing hope that they'll find the jewels. Or at least a clue. These were more like common bandits rather than a group of fiercely determined and extremely capable group of raiders she imagined when someone mentioned a name like 'Blacktalon'. But at least they found most of the missing cargo. While not as precious as the jewels themselves, it was still valuable. And will probably please Lord Adlebrent when they returned. Maybe please him enough to pay them.

Their group searched the small camp near the entrance to no avail. Nothing beyond a few full coinpurses, which they kept for themselves, and few items with the Adlebrent sigil, which will be returned. The sack was getting too big for even their Chief to carry.

This whole place creeped Rush out even more than the silent ship. Not counting the giant spiders, clicking noises of the deepstalkers and the distant roars of darkspawn deep below them, all this felt wrong. She couldn't wait to be done with this place. At the same time, she couldn't force herself to give up her search. Not now.

Not when Bull let her lead.

She was very surprised when he first suggested it, as was the argument he gave her. Since this was her idea and she was the one who wanted to find out more, it was only right that she lead them. She understood the logic, but still… it was disconcerting to be the one on the front line, so to speak. But… that also made this personal. It was now a matter of principle, to finish this the best she could. She'll be damned if she backed out now.

At least Bull had her back in this.

They combed through the 'room' so to speak, but didn't find any further proof. At the same time, she felt that any time now, she will find something important. The feeling only increased in potency the further inside they ventured. The cave led them deeper and deeper inside, while at the same time tried to turn them back. Even the corpses seemed more like a warning sign rather than  _the end_  of their journey.

Then, just as Rush was ready to put a stop to their explorations, she smelled a wave of fresh, salty air up ahead.

She looked back at Bull, who only narrowed his eyes at the passage in front of them, then nodded. They readied their weapons; Rocky and Stitches following their example.

Rush creeped forward silently, but it turned out she needn't have bothered.

The cave opened up to a clearing full of chests, crates and… were those beds? Did those raiders  _live_ here? She had no time to think on it, as the clearing also held a group of men. Angry, dangerous looking men with their weapons drawn.

One hulking Qunari stepped forward and with shock, Rush recognized him as the man from the golden locket. This must be Blacktalon, then.

"Congratulations! You bloody hounds managed to sniff us out, and even killed some our men in the process." His smirk revealed a set of teeth sharpened into fangs, "Die now, knowing that Blacktalon sent you to… urk." He grabbed his throat as blood spilled around the dagger Rush threw at him. He fell down, dead. Better to have him die than risk he'll get away.

Bull turned to her with a betrayed look in his eye, "Hey!"

Rush half-turned towards him, both amused and disappointed with the 'legendary' Tal-Vashoth who seemed to prefer scare tactics and mystery over skill, then shrugged her shoulder, "He didn't seem so tough, anyway." Bull's eyepatch alone was more impressive and intimidating than the 'famous' raider…

"You bitch!" Blacktalon's lieutenant screamed as he pulled a massive battleaxe and charged at her.

Rush pulled the other dagger and prepared for a fight, secretly casting a strong barrier over her teammates while they were still this close together. Then almost lost it when Bull  _roared_  and charged the raiders. She quickly got over her shock, though, and went to cover his back… and his blind side.

The fight was a quick one. Bull and her… they worked together as if they had each other's backs for years. Every time he would charge, Rush renewed the barrier around him, and when anyone got too close to his sides or back, she stabbed them, then quickly his behind his massive bulk again.

The greatest problem she had now was trying to stop staring at Bull's powerful form as he swung his axe at the raiders with wild abandon.

Rocky mostly stayed behind, daggers ready to cover them if they needed him to, occasionally throwing some explosive at the raiders whenever more than two stood close together, and Stitches shot at the raiders from a distance.

In no time at all, the raiders were dead. Rush stood above the last raider's bleeding corpse, feeling oddly disappointed. She barely even started breathing heavily, and it was already over.

Bull ripped his battleaxe from the spine of a dead raider and grinned at her, "No need to make that face, Rush. We can't kill a giant every day."

She only snorted and picked a piece of cloth to clean her daggers.

The moment her weapons were clean though, she couldn't stand it any longer and went to search through the raider's stash. She sorted every piece she found - the coin will be theirs, as will the general items, while anything marked with a crest will be returned to its rightful owner. They might even be paid for it, too. That would be great.

She searched through the captain's personal belongings last. And, with a smile, pulled out a half-full leather sack and several tightly bound letters, clearly marked 'From Louis'. This was even easier than she thought. She turned to Bull, who watched her with anticipation and handed him her prize with a cocky smirk.

Bull gently took it from her hands and opened the sack. It contained some really expensive looking jewels. "I'll be damned! We found it after all." Then he threw his head back and laughed.

Rush stood beside him, smiling. She couldn't wait to see the expression of Louis's face when they returned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So, I saw a couple pictures where people stuck '-ing' at the end of every other famous movie name. It sounded awful. … So I've renamed the story. It's now 'Rush Ahead', instead of 'Rushing Ahead'. Damn, I didn't realize the "-ing" made it sound so weird. People, please, English is not my native language, if I make a mistake like this, TELL ME. I'd really like to improve my skills…
> 
> Also, this part (Storm Coast mission) took too damn long, considering it was basically a mid-length side quest (game wise). And it's not over yet – the next chapter will bring the final confrontation. :)


	12. Chapter 12

This much opulence should be forbidden, Rush thought disdainfully as she walked behind Bull through the immensely beautiful, gleaming halls of Lord Adlebrent's "summer house".

More like a small castle, really.

She had to bite her lip to hide a smile when she noticed Bull stomping on the gleaming, expensive,  _breakable_  tiles and noticed the barely hidden wince of the snotty steward who opened the doors for them… and then ordered them to go through the servant's entrance and to put down their weapons before they approached his Lord.

So… Bull didn't like the man either. She never would have guessed from his expression or body language, which was perfectly polite and understanding. But the cracking tiles spoke for themselves.

Lord Adlebrent met them in his study, sitting behind a huge desk, probably meant to make him appear intimidating. And, of course, dear Louis stood at his side, while several guards lined the walls. ' _Expecting trouble, then?_ ' Rush quickly masked her expression not to give away their game. Let Bull have his fun with this.

"Have you found the missing jewels?" Lord Krestus Adlebrent looked down his crooked nose at them, obviously expecting a 'no'. He didn't even bother to greet them.

Bulls lips pulled into a half-smile as he set the small bag on the Lord's table, right in front of his face. "We did," he said amiably, "Along with your wife's murderer."

Louis tensed up beside his lord, then put a hand on his sword. "What nonsense is this? Lady Anabelle drowned when the ship sank." He glared at them hotly, "If this is a trick to blackmail us for more money…"

Bull only grinned and pulled out the small golden locket, "Not at all," he twirled it between his fingers as the captain froze on spot and stared at the locked with growing horror. "We have found evidence that the ship's crew has been replaced by raider Blacktalon."

The room collectively held its breath as Bull's eye suddenly focused on them with frightening force, "And evidence of Lady Adlebrent's affair with the captain of the guard, Louis Croux, Blacktalon's lover."

Well, that was fast, Rush thought and had to bite her lip to stop from smiling. Looked like Bull wasn't in the mood to drag this out for too long.

Louis abandoned his sword and before anyone could blink, held a dagger to Lord Adlebrent's throat. "Nobody move, or he dies," his cold voice left no one doubting he would do it. Rush quickly lost her smile. The guards tried to move, but a single look from their lord stopped them. No one wanted to risk their lord's life.

Bull didn't move a muscle, but concentrated on Louis and spoke calmly, "You are surrounded with no way out. Come quietly and you might survive."

Louis didn't seem willing to let go. He scoffed, "As if I'd believe that. Execution is always the Orlesians first and only response to a crime committed by anyone without a title, even when there's no proof. With what you have? I'll be hanged. Might as well take this bastard down with me." He pressed the dagger against the hostage lord's throat and a thin line of blood appeared on his skin.

Lord Adlebrent wisely didn't move a muscle, but his terrified eyes spoke volumes.

Bull relaxed his stance and Rush felt herself tense up in response. She had a feeling he will try to shock the man, but didn't plan to use the moment to attack. Did that mean that she should…? But there was no time to pull her hidden dagger!

"Oh well, it will probably be better this way. There's something romantic about joining your lover in death."

"Wha…," Louis never managed to finish his sentence as Rush used his brief moment of surprise to freeze him on spot.

Bull jumped forward and punched him square in the chest.

One punch, and Louis was sent flying into the wall. He fell down, half-frozen, banged up and on the verge of unconsciousness. The guards moved in to tie him up.

"Nice! Little bit of excitement to spice things up," Bull grinned.

Lord Adlebrent didn't seem to appreciate it. He jumped up and started shouting. "Nice?! I could have been killed! And you brought a mage here without warning me first?!" He gestured angrily towards Rush, "I knew you Qunari were savages, but I thought you had more sensible views on magic than this!"

'Oh, dear,' Rush thought. That… might have been a mistake. If she knew the lord would react like this, she would have risked his life and went for her dagger after all. She hesitated, uncertain how she should react.

Bull came to her defense. He fixed the lord with a serious look, "She saved your life, Lord Adlebrent. I believe in this one case, you can overlook the means she used to do it."

The Lord didn't seem willing to calm down. "I think not! I should call the Templars on you and…" Then he seemed to realize that all the Templars left the Chantry to hunt the mages. Making themselves unavailable to anyone who might wish to contact them about the mages, ironically.

Lord Adlebrent sighed and gave them a disgusted look, "Very well. In this one case, I'm willing to be merciful. Get out of my sight." He waved his hand, dismissing them, but the look in his eyes was… strange.

Rush has seen that look enough times to recognize it. Greed. She narrowed her eyes. She had a feeling this man didn't mind magic as much as he pretended; more like he was trying to weasel out of paying and she just gave him the perfect excuse to do so. "I think not," she stated in a voice so cold it could have frozen a despair demon. "We have done you a great service. We are  _not_  leaving without our pay."

Bull raised his eyebrow at her, but didn't interrupt; leaving her to get them out of the mess she accidentally got them into.

Adlebrent sneered at her, "You try my patience, mage."

"Trust me, I could do worse." She straightened up and used the almost forgotten mannerism of a high-born lady to threaten him in a language he understood, "I think the Poutouilles would be very interested in knowing just how much  _intimacy_ there was between you and your wife." He wanted her to be the evil mage? She could oblige.

They stared at each other for a moment. Just when Rush considered adding the fact that it was his family dagger that was used to kill his wife, Adlebrent snorted with disdain, "Very well, take your coin." He pulled a sack full of gold from his desk drawer and threw it at her.

She oofed quietly when it hit her.

Rush stared at him in surprise. That was… surprisingly easy. And, looking down at the coin bag in her hands, she realized the pay was actually more than what she could expect even from a pleased client. She raised confused eyes to look at the man behind the desk and saw… respect? He looked at her with a spark of appreciation. Did he wait for them to 'earn their pay' by blackmailing him? Or was it simply that he knew when he was beaten? Or something else entirely? She had no idea.

'Orlesians and their stupid Games', she sighed mentally, but offered the man a polite bow anyway.

She exchanged a look with Bull, and they both turned to leave.

-rushing-ahead-rushing-ahead-rushing-ahead-

"Well, that was interesting," Bull commented the moment they were out of earshot and re-joined Rocky and Stitches, who gave them curious looks.

Despite his words, Rush had a feeling he was displeased. If she was honest, so was she.

To abandon her rules, her cautiousness the moment there was the slightest possibility of failure… that was unacceptable. She felt way too safe when in Bull's company. That could get her killed.

Or worse.

"Yes. Interesting," Rush commented quietly, not wanting to draw more attention to herself than was necessary.

Not that it helped her much. The moment they arrived back at the tavern where they currently stayed, Bull waved at her to follow him. Somehow, she had a feeling this won't be a pleasant conversation.

"So, back there, in Adelbrent's study," Bull began and Rush prepared herself for the worst. "You revealed your magic to someone you didn't know, with no idea how he'll react. Jeoparized the mission and the Chargers themselves."

Rush lifted her head in shock. "I didn't threaten the Chargers! Just… myself," she finished uncertainly. The worst that could happen was that she'd be forced to run, right?

"What do you think would happen to us for harboring a fugitive? An apostate? The moment nobility heard, they'd crush us. They could still come after the Chargers, blackmail us with this." He fixed her with an intent stare, "Make no mistake, we are in just as much danger as you."

"I…" Rush felt on the verge of tears. She had no idea how to make this better. What could she say? 'There was no time to decide or prepare'. 'It went too fast, I couldn't reach for my dagger'. Anything she could say sounded like a cheap excuse. Because, in the end, she made a choice between finishing the mission and her safety. The safety of their company. "I'm sorry." She hung her head and waited for his verdict.

He stayed silent for a moment. Then he said in a strange tone she couldn't categorize, "I'm docking your pay for this. Five royals less, Rush."

She looked at him, shocked. That was it? Less pay? That was… much mellower than she expected. She almost thought she'd be kicked out of the Chargers for this, not that Bull would give her a smaller share from an already excellent pay. Made better by all the loot they collected… and Bull never asked for his share of that, even though he had the right.

She still made more today than she had in a month living as an adventurer.

"I… Yes, Chief," she nodded to him, but hesitated when she met his eyes. He was still giving her that odd look. She could not identify the emotion behind that stare, but had a feeling something more happened here just now. Something she didn't understand.

Then Bull nodded, went to a cabinet lining the wall and pulled out something that smelled like concentrated brewery in a bottle. "Go on to celebrate with your team." He waved her at the door. "I still have some things to finish up here. I'll join you later."

She nodded again, still confused, then walked out of the room. He wanted her to celebrate? Didn't she… well… fail?

She'd never understand the Qunari, she thought with a shake of her head as she closed the door behind her.

She never saw Bull's calculating stare on her back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I'm going somewhere with this, I promise. ;) Explanation in the next chapter.
> 
> Also, some things weren't revealed about the whole Storm Coast mission… that's mostly because neither Bull nor Rush cared to know just why exactly Louis hated Lord Adlebrent so much. So, consider it a codex entry they both skipped, because they concentrated on finishing the quest :D


	13. Chapter 13

The party was in full swing. Dalish sang a terribly off-key version of the Charger's song. Rocky and a chuckling Stitches joined her a moment later. Krem watched them all with an amused yet fond look, quietly drinking his wine.

Rush was not in a mood to join, however. She was still uncomfortable about her chat with Bull. Uncertainty wracked her as she wondered what the repercussions of that stunt at Adlebrent's estate will be. Docking her pay couldn't be the end of it, right?

Krem and his team were successful too, bringing back a lot of coin, even though they had no bonuses to their pay today. Both team's loot was gathered in one corner, hastily stuffed in several chests and sacks. They will sort through it later.

Her first tankard of the evening still more than half-full, Rush sighed and looked around the tavern. Despite being here for such a short time, it has become familiar. She'd hate to leave. Or maybe she'd only hate to be alone again, she admitted to herself and stared moodily at the strong drink in her hands.

"Why the gloomy look? Everything went well, didn't it?" Krem asked as he pulled up a chair to sit down next to her.

She looked at him, hesitating whether she should tell him what happened. Then she thought screw it all, Bull would probably tell him anyway. "I messed up today. Badly."

He raised his eyebrow at her. "Really? The Chief didn't look disappointed. He was actually kind of pleased, from what I can tell."

"We finished the job and were paid, true, but…" Rush sighed and added in a voice so quiet Krem had to lean in to hear her, "I've revealed my magic, right in front of Lord Adlebrent and his guards." She then went on to explain the situation, still staring gloomily into her drink and missed the narrow-eyed, contemplating look Krem gave her.

"What did the Chief say about it?" Krem asked as he leaned in closer.

"That I endangered the whole company, as you'd all be at risk for harboring an apostate," she sighed again. "And he's right. I should have found another way, not just…" There was a lump in her throat and she had to stop and take a gulp of her drink. It didn't help.

"Ah." Krem hesitated, then took one of her slightly trembling hands in his own. With a mild shock, Rush realized that she didn't feel any urge to flinch or pull back, despite only knowing the man for a short time. He had that effect on people. Just like their Chief did. "I wouldn't worry about it too much. Chief doesn't hold grudges, you know. If he says it's fine, then it's fine."

"Oh. Well, thank you." She nodded to Krem, despite the fact that his words didn't make her feel any better. And that Bull didn't in fact say that things were fine.

Krem squeezed her hand in his once more, then stood up to get refills.

Rush looked around once again and noticed that Bull finally came down to the common room. Only… he didn't join them.

His eye found Krem, who in that moment lifted his head and noticed Bull as well. They exchanged a look, then Bull nodded his head in the direction of his room, turned on his heel and walked back upstairs. Krem only sighed heavily, put his bottle down and went to follow.

That brief exchange sent a wave of unease through Rush. She didn't want to be too paranoid, but this… she had a feeling they wanted to discuss her. In private. That didn't bode well. Before she could start stewing, however, Dalish called her over to join them. Despite the nervous flutters in her belly, she couldn't really say no to the cheerful elf and went to join her.

She barely managed to finish her drink when Krem returned, more disapproving than she'd ever seen him. Her shoulders slumped and she held back a resigned sigh. The moment their eyes met, Krem wiped the expression off his face, but it was too late. Rush has already seen it.

"Hey, Rush! Come here for a moment," Krem called her. Dalish and Rocky gave her curious looks, but didn't try to stop her from leaving. The moment she got close, Krem continued, "We need to sort through the loot you brought back from the Coast. There are some items there that belong to noble families and the Chief thinks that since you're a noble, you might be able to identify them."

"Oh," she looked at him, surprised. She hated to disappoint him, but… "I'm sorry, Krem, but I'm a Marcher noble. Used to be. A long time ago. I don't really know many Orlesian noble families or their crests."

Krem hesitated for a moment, then grabbed her by the elbow anyway and gently steered her towards the chests and sacks. "Still, out of all the Chargers, you have the most knowledge about human nobility. If nothing else, you'll know which items are common and which could be precious family heirlooms."

Rush allowed him to lead her away from the party. While she thought Krem would be just as good at identifying an item's worth, she wouldn't protest spending more time with him.

An hour or two later, Rush was completely exhausted. Turned out many of the Orlesians had Marcher relatives, and that she actually remembered a lot of their crests, family history and importance. Also interesting tidbits like which family feuded with which clan and who should be the first one they will return items to, according to their status, title and importance so nobody had cause to get insulted. Her information might have been at least a decade out of date, but could still prove useful.

"That's it, I think," Krem sighed, just as tired as her. He gathered his notes to read later. He listened to her for less than ten minutes before he stopped her and went to get some papers to write it all down. "I'll take it from here. You gather the Adlebrent items and bring them to Bull."

Rush jumped as if he kicked her. She hoped to avoid their Chief for a couple days, to let him cool down and perhaps forget what happened. But she really had no good excuse to refuse. So she only nodded tiredly to Krem and pulled herself up, "Sure."

"And while you're at it, don't forget to bring him this," he said and handed her Adlebrent's dagger.  _The_  Adlebrent dagger. The one used to kill the lord's wife.

She winced. So much for keeping a low profile.

She sighed and took the dagger from Krem's hands with slightly trembling fingers. Then she shook herself and used the old trick she learned at the Circle to mask her feelings. Her face settled on a politely neutral expression.

All this made her feel a bit pathetic - that she feared failure, and facing failure, so much she had to run and hide from her own Chief. Especially since, if what Krem said was right, he already put it behind him.

But she still hated to see him  _disappointed_  in her.

She gathered all the items and went to Bull's room with a heavy heart.

-rushing-ahead-rushing-ahead-rushing-ahead-

She knocked on the door twice. Confidently yet politely, just as she learned at the Circle, whenever she entered the private quarters of any enchanter or templar important enough to warrant their own room in the often times cramped tower.

She waited several moments, but there was no response. Knowing Bull was not the type to let someone wait at his door, she tried the handle. She was mildly surprised to find it unlocked.

Bull's room was illuminated by a single candle on his desk. Bull himself sat behind the desk, head laid down on a muscular arm, breathing deeply in his sleep.

Rush sighed in relief and closed the door behind her. She approached the table, trying to make as little noise as possible so as not to wake him. But it seemed she need not have bothered, as he didn't even stir at her approach.

His desk was covered in papers and unmarked folders. Part of her wondered at the content of all these documents - no way were these all just mercenary company ledgers. But if Bull wanted her to know, he'd tell her and if not, she shouldn't pry. She turned away to lay the items down on the floor by his desk. He'll find them when he wakes up.

She hesitated with the dagger still in her hands. Would it be seen as a threat if she left it at the table? She sighed heavily. There was nowhere else she could safely place it, so she put it down next to the coin bag, no doubt containing the rest of her pay. The part she won't get any time soon.

The reminder of her failure.

Rush turned to leave, when a sudden gust of wind through the open window made her pause. She looked back at Bull, dressed as he usually was in his leather harness. Half-naked in the quickly cooling night air.

She sighed in exasperation and went to close the window. It shut with a quiet click. Scanning the room once more, she spotted a blanked neatly folded on Bull's bed. She grabbed it, quietly chuckled at how large it was, then stepped back up to Bull.

She covered his back with the blanket, tucking it at his sides.

Once more, she was awed by the sheer size of this man. She couldn't help it and kneeled next to him, gently caressing his arm in a calming gesture her nanny sometimes used when she had trouble falling asleep. The muscles under her hand were tense, despite his sleep.

When was the last time their Chief relaxed? If what she knew about the Qun was at least half right, the answer was never. He probably didn't have anyone to relax with, in the first place. She wondered if she could be the one to make him more relaxed.

If he'd allow her to be that someone.

Rush pulled her hand off his arm and stood back up. Better to leave before she woke him, she thought and tip-toed out of the room to rejoin the party downstairs, somehow feeling much better than when she came in.

-rushing-ahead-rushing-ahead-rushing-ahead-

The moment he heard the door close, Bull opened his eye to stare at it incredulously. This…

He expected many things but this… was a shock. He pulled the blanked covering his back tighter around his shoulders and sat up. When he set up the test, the only thing he expected (and maybe even hoped for) was that Rush will resist the temptations he placed before her.

Because that was all this was about.

In the short time she's been here, Rush managed to fit in perfectly.  _Too perfectly_. Shy at the oddest of moments, but focused and determined when faced with enemies or a confrontation. She made friends with all of them, faster than he's ever seen anyone do before. Respected yet joked around with Krem, listened to and taught Dalish, shared quiet drinks with Stitches and Grim or bloody anecdotes with Skinner, then showed explosive spells to Rocky; she managed to find a way to get close to all of them. Not even he was immune. The more he knew her…

The 'sleeping test' was something he made all his team go through. Make them angry, set up a situation with several temptations and seemingly no consequences, and let them decide if keeping their spot on his team was worth more than a single coin bag or satisfying their curiosity. All his men resisted, and he could be  _certain_  of their loyalty.

Bull looked around his room again. The coin sat innocently at the edge of his desk, as did the old, worthless Ben-Hassrath reports. As did the dagger she carried in with her.

Money, secrets, power. She had all that at her fingertips… and she chose to cover him with blankets like a damned Tamassran.

His horns pointed down as he bowed his head in shame. He usually gave his men much more time to get used to the company, to  _him_ , before he tested them. He failed her and failed himself when he set this up so soon after she joined. Wanting her to disappoint him, so she wouldn't get so close to his heart.

And then she passed his test; better than he could have hoped for.

"Damn," he muttered, but clutched the blanket even closer.

The opportunity was too perfect to pass up. When Louis pulled the dagger on their client, Bull took one look into the man's eyes and knew that they'll have to use Rush's magic in a surprise attack if they wanted to finish the job and keep their client alive. But even if she failed and went for her dagger, it would be no great loss. Couple days unpaid travel and a single botched job would never harm  _his_  company. No matter the outcome and no matter her choice, he'd be able to get them out of any trouble.

So he tested her on the spot.

She could have reached for her hidden dagger and failed the job so she could protect herself, to adhere to her precious rules on what a mage on the run should and shouldn't do. Or she could put her life on the line to finish what she started, trust him as her Chief to get her out of trouble. He was truly impressed when she chose to put her trust in him. Even more so when she argued with the snobby asshole to get them their pay… and succeeded.

Bull stood up with a heavy sigh, allowing the blanket to fall down on the chair, then went to clear up his table. Only seconds later did he realize that he did it to avoid facing her. In doing so, he put his whole team on edge, as they might think she managed to kill him here.

He abandoned the clean-up and walked to the door. Hopefully she won't be too angry with them all. Bull realized he truly hoped she will stay; she made for an excellent Charger.

This whole thing made him feel like an imekari again, going to face his Tama after he got caught lying.

That… wasn't so bad, actually.

He opened his door with a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: You people have no idea how many times I squealed and almost wrote back 'YES! YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT!' when you commented on how quickly Rush was accepted. :3 How quickly she considered herself part of the Chargers. Way too quickly.
> 
> Telling Bull her full name on their first meeting, spilling the details of her escape the moment she was accepted into the company. Salivating over her chief before their first official mission together….
> 
> Trust me, Bull noticed too. Hence the test. ;)
> 
> The test scene was the first thing in my head (and in my TextEdit) when I began to write this fic and is THE scene that characterizes both Rush and their relationship.
> 
> Also, who else dislikes the 3 choices that the game always pushes us into? Or worse, only choices 1 and 2. Rush is always like 'Fuck you, I'm going Special' whenever she can. Like when she uses Nobility knowledge to sort through loot… and isn't it weird that LADY Trevelyan doesn't have Nobility knowledge unlocked at start? Anyway, this time, she picked the Flirt option ;)


	14. Chapter 14

Dalish looked at Rush curiously the moment she walked back to the table. "So? Finished with Krem already?" She offered Rush a drink, barely managing not to slosh it all over her.

Rush smiled and took it from her hands, "Yes, and with Bull too."

"With Bull?" Dalish suddenly looked much more sober. "What about him?"

"Krem asked me to bring him all the Adlebrent items." She took a sip and went to sit down next to the elf. "Bull's already asleep, so I just left them in his room."

Dalish jumped up as if she sat on a hedgehog and stared at her, shocked, "What, already?"

Rush only lifted a confused eyebrow, "Well, it is pretty late…" Then she noticed Dalish fidgeting and narrowed her eyes at her, "But that's not what you're talking about, is it?"

Dalish looked away. Now Rush was almost completely certain that she was hiding something from her. "Dalish…"

"Look, Bull will explain, alright?" she fidgeted in her seat some more.

"Explain  _what_?" Rush narrowed her eyes further.

Before she could press further, Krem appeared at her side and put a calming hand on her shoulder. "It's fine, Rush. You'll find out soon."

"You're in on it, too?" She stared at him in disbelief. Looking around the tavern, she realized that all the patrons aside from the Chargers were leaving or have already left. Even the bartender was on his way out, giving Krem one last look over his shoulder. The only people around were the Chargers… and they were all watching her. "All of you?"

Krem turned his face towards the stairs, "He'll be down any moment now."

"But he's…" a horrible suspicion entered her mind, "Does that mean he only pretended to sleep? And you all knew?" She asked them quietly.

The silence that fell over the group spoke volumes.

Rush felt betrayed. And embarrassed. It looked like Bull had been wide awake, and probably watched her move around the room, too. That meant he felt her cover him with that stupid blanket… and the way she caressed his arm.

She wanted to fall through the floor.

Bull's heavy steps as he walked down the stairs echoed through the silent tavern, the only sound aside from the distant noises of the city beyond the tavern's walls. Raising her eyes to look at him was the last thing she wanted to do, but it was better than to stand there looking at the ground like a child.

Surprisingly, it was Bull who winced and looked away the moment their eyes met. So he didn't think what he did was right either, then. That… actually made this a little bit easier.

"So," she began as calmly and rationally as she could, "What was the point of all… that?" She waved her hand in the direction of his room. Patiently waiting for an explanation. Well, as patiently as she could.

"The Charger's admittance test, you could say. The real one." Bull, but the way he blinked betrayed that he wasn't as calm as he pretended. It was comforting to know that even this man had tells. It calmed something in her, and allowed her to honestly listen to what he had to say.

"Explain, please."

The rest of the Chargers stayed quiet, unintentionally adding to the tension in the room.

"It's something I do with every new member of the Chargers." Bull sat down at the closest chair, crossing arms over his chest. "I wait for the moment when the new Charger is angry with me, then have them come to my room when I'm vulnerable, carrying a weapon. They have a choice to make: take the coin on my desk, satisfy their curiosity by poking around in my things or use the weapon to try and kill me."

Rush suddenly had a feeling several potential members took the last option. He certainly had enough scars on his back to support that theory.

Bull continued in a tired voice, eye fixed on the floor, "Or they can accept me as their Chief, do the thing they were told to do and become a true Charger."

Rush tensed up. She truly hoped Bull won't mention her little indiscretion in front of all their team. 'Let it stay between us. Please,' she silently begged him with her eyes.

Bull held her gaze for a moment, then continued simply, "You passed, Rush."

Well, that was something. At least it seemed he was willing to let that…  _thing_  between them stay secret.

When she remained silent, Bull continued, "I usually do the test only once our new Charger spent a while among us. A month or two, at least, to let them get used to us. Testing you so soon after you joined was wrong. I… apologize."

Several Chargers startled at that, and Rush was surprised to see Krem step from foot to foot in an almost nervous gesture. She had a feeling Bull didn't apologize too often. Or at all. That made the gesture mean more than it should have.

Rush closed her eyes and released the breath she unconsciously held. Then she looked back at him and asked quietly, "All Chargers go through the test?"

Krem couldn't keep quiet any longer. He stepped up to her to lay a hand on her shoulder, "Yes. We all did. And we all passed, just like you." He smiled at her; a cute, boyish grin and she felt herself start to relax. "Why do you think aren't there more of us? Chargers must be special people, to be willing to put up with our chief's Bullshit."

She made a noise somewhere between chuckle and a snort and shook her head, accepting Bull's apology and the explanation from Krem. Rush looked Bull in the eye and said, "Alright. I guess I can put up with it too …Chief."

He smiled, briefly. For a second, Rush saw honest emotion enter his eyes. ' _So warm'_ , she thought. She returned the smile and felt the last of the tension leave her.

Then Bull all but jumped up from his chair and shouted, "Great! We have a new Charger, so you know what that means, men!" He grinned at them and Rush knew what he was going to shout.

"Let's drink!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I admit, I'm not perfectly happy with how quickly Rush forgave Bull for the test. But… it fits her profile. She's not only quick to anger, quick to change or quick to… pretty much do anything; she is also quick to forgive. I guess I'm not as forgiving and would need a bit more time to cool down.
> 
> But then, I write about Rush, not myself ;)
> 
> The next chapter will be longer, I promise.


	15. Chapter 15

Rush woke up, and immediately wished she hadn't.

Her head was killing her and there was an unpleasant taste in her mouth. "So this is what it means to truly drink with the Chargers," she muttered and covered her aching eyes with her palms against the sun's glare.

Last night went just fine - the drinks were great, company even better. Then their Chief pulled out a cask of Chasing Mead and things got… blurry. She vaguely remembered leaning against Krem and babbling something about how this was better than burning templar pricks to Krem and Bull's roaring laughter. She also remembered how she snuggled against Bull's muscular arm and purred with pure female satisfaction. Her palms warmed up from the force of her blush.

Oh well, not like he hadn't noticed her interest before.

It wasn't even all that surprising she… admired him. Bull was pretty much the first person in her life who accepted her as she was, last night's test notwithstanding.

Before she could stew in her own thoughts too long, the door to her room banged open and in walked Krem. "Good morning, Rush! Rise and shine!" the grin on his face was unnecessarily sadistic, she thought as she glared at him through her fingers.

Then she realized something, "Wait. I don't remember walking back to my room…"

Krem's grin turned even more evil, "That's because you didn't." He ignored her widening eyes and continued mercilessly, "You fell asleep cuddled to the Chief and he didn't want to wake you up… so he carried you upstairs himself."

Rush groaned and covered her face as much as she could.

"Oh, don't take it too badly. We've all noticed you 'looking'."

A disgusted grunt was his only answer.

Krem had the audacity to laugh at her. No respect for the cranky mage, she thought, but then realized that his trust in her self-control actually made her feel better.

"Now, get up, we have some training to do." Krem continued grinning as if he knew something she didn't.

"Training?" she repeated stupidly, then remembered that she once promised Krem they will train together to test her skills as a Knight-Enchanter. "But I'm hung-over!"

"So? You won't always be able to fight at your best. Training like this will test your true skills and limits. I'm sure the Chief will agree…"

Rush opened and closed her mouth a couple times. Then her eyes narrowed, "You're doing this on purpose, aren't you."

Krem just continued grinning down at her as he walked to her bed to pull her out of it, "'If you're not cheating, you're not trying', right? That's what I heard, anyway."

Rush paused and, with a horrible sense of realization remembered how she got tips from Skinner on how to fight with daggers. While Krem was around, no doubt watching and listening to every word they said. "Well, shit," she commented dryly and Krem started laughing.

A minute later, she was shooing him out of her room so she could get dressed. She has seen Krem fight and knew he was a powerful warrior. Since she didn't want to kill him, and since they were in fact in the middle of a city, she will have to use her combat skills only. And magic with no outward effects. This… will require a good strategy.

Still, she was looking forward to this. It will be challenging, yet she didn't need to fear she'll be killed. Actually, she was kind of looking forward to this.

With a smile, she realized how much she changed in the brief time since she joined the Chargers. She drank more in one evening than in all her previous life combined, fought with no care of decorum or even her own safety as an apostate… and was able to relax with people who were quickly becoming her friends. Even the way she talked changed. She put the daggers on her back and found that for the first time, she didn't miss her robes and staff.

The moment she was dressed, Rush made her way down to the tavern's common room. The evidence of last night's celebrations was no longer visible. She felt her respect for the tavern owner rise - that must have been some quick cleaning, especially since the tavern already had customers sitting at he bar… and most Chargers enjoyed their breakfast there too. She decided to skip food this morning and only drank a glass of water.

She walked out of the tavern and into the small courtyard that served as their training ground for the time being. Krem was already waiting for her, so was Skinner and Grim… and so was the Iron Bull. She groaned internally, then steeled her shoulders.

She stepped up to them with a nod of greeting and they all grinned. Even Grim. A quick look over her shoulder back at the tavern revealed the rest of the Chargers watching from behind the closest window. Rocky even pulled a chair to stand on so he could see properly.

She wondered how much they all bet on the outcome of this little training session.

Bull was the first one to speak, "So, I hear you think you can beat Krem."

Rush opened her mouth… then paused to check Krem over. He appeared slightly 'under the weather' too, and he wasn't wearing his usual heavy armor. He wore simple leathers instead. On his back was… a wooden stick?

Oh. Training. Right.

Looked like she will have to tone it down, too. But this also meant her hits will count for more, since a simple 'stab' with a stick will symbolize a more serious wound.

She grinned. "I can," she said simply.

Skinner gave her a wicked grin of her own, "You better. I want to win this bet, you hear?" Grim grunted dismissively beside her.

"No respect for the lieutenant, Skinner?" Krem challenged jokingly.

Her wolfish grin was… unsettling. "I want to see you bite the dust, 'Lieutenant'. But I'm not stupid enough to challenge you myself."

Grim grunted in agreement.

"Hey!" Rush exclaimed, mock-insulted.

Bull chuckled behind them and interrupted their banter by handing her two shorter sticks to serve as 'daggers'. She tested their weight in her hands and subtly pushed a small spark of magic into them to make them sturdier. Then she flooded her muscles with power and a grin spread on her face.

This will be  _fun_.

-rushing-ahead-rushing-ahead-rushing-ahead-

She panted and stared down at Krem with the happiest grin she ever remembered sporting. Krem panted just as hard as he stared up at her from the way she had him pinned to the ground with her hands and legs. His 'sword' lay several feet away, too far for him to reach, even if he could move.

Which he couldn't.

Grim handed a coin bag to a chuckling Skinner.

Bull watched her with slightly hooded eyes from the sidelines, then shook himself and chuckled as well. "This round goes to Rush, Krem de la Crème. She's beaten you, fair and square."

Hearing that, she relaxed and released Krem's hands.

Krem grinned too, "She did," he said and smacked her butt where it rested just above his waist.

Rush squealed and fell off him, to the laughter of all the Chargers. She joined them a moment later, feeling full of energy, despite the rather intensive training session.

They've been at this for longer than she thought they would. She expected that Krem would either wipe the floor with her, or she with him, but it turned out they were almost evenly matched. It was also surprisingly hard to concentrate on and manipulate the subtle flow of magic through her body when she still felt last night's alcohol coursing through her veins. And brain. There were several moments when Krem nearly got a full hit in and she almost pulled herself into the Fade out of reflex to avoid it. Almost. Luckily she kept her cool and managed to avoid his hits physically instead, and even let a couple hit her.

Until now, she had no idea she could move that fast, even with magic.

Rush felt proud of herself, and more confident in her skills than ever before. Turned out she wouldn't make such a bad rogue after all. She picked herself off the ground and offered Krem her hand, which he happily took. The moment they were both up, they smiled at each other and went to clear up the area. Skinner took Grim by the elbow and led him back inside the tavern, no doubt to buy them both a round with her newly won coin.

Bull approached them with an intent look. Rush gulped unconsciously; she hoped he will not suggest a spar right now. A knight-enchanter she might be, but even she was not invincible… and Krem wore her out already. No matter how sturdy, she was still human.

When he saw the look on her face, he paused and chuckled, "Relax, Rush. I won't suggest we fight…" at her sigh of relief, he added with an evil smirk, "… right now."

"Oh, dear," she deadpanned, knowing she was doomed.

"But later, sure, we will see how well you'll do against me. Krem," he turned to his lieutenant. "You still need to finish the sorting from yesterday. Go get some water and get to it."

Rush narrowed her eyes. Now that she watched for it, she noticed the subtle… something in both their tone and manner, that suggested there was more spoken than was said. What were they planning now?

Krem threw her a quick salute, turned on his heel and walked back to the tavern. But Rush didn't move to follow him, choosing instead to stare at Bull expectantly.

Bull raised a surprised eyebrow, then chuckled again, "So you noticed, huh? Usually takes people a lot longer than that." Then he pulled out a coin bag and handed it to her.

She stared at it, puzzled.

"The rest of your pay," Bull spoke calmly, quietly. Then he added with a sigh, "You did fine at Adlebrent's mansion, Rush. Better than fine, in fact. You did great."

She clutched the bag in her hand and stared up at him, "But I put you all in danger…"

"Not exactly true," he countered her gently. "Sure, Adlebrent was barking about your magic, but protecting you is my job. If you ever need to use your powers to protect yourself or to finish a job, do it. I will get you out of trouble, no matter what."

She looked down and whispered, "I should still be able to protect myself."

He took a step closer. "Of course. But while you're a Charger and doing your job, I will do what I can to help you with that. You don't have to be afraid of failing. You're one of my men, now; you're safe with us."

She took a second to gather herself, then she smiled up at him and nodded. "I'll try." She could promise no more than that, but she was ready to put her trust in him, at least once. She will see the next time they got in trouble, how his word held.

Rush turned to leave, but Bull took her elbow in his huge hand and looked around.

"Wait. There's more." He bid her to follow him.

They ended up sitting on a couple crates behind the tavern, out of the view of any curious passerby. Bull put a hand on his knee and leaned in, "Listen, now that you're a real Charger, there's a couple things you need to know."

"Yes, Bull?" She waited for him to continue. What could he possibly want to tell her? It must be important, and very personal, if he felt the need for such privacy. To discuss things away from the rest of his men.

"So, you know I'm Qunari, right?" He asked her needlessly.

Rush thought it must be a  _very sensitive_ topic, then, if a man as decisive as Bull tried to ease her into it gradually. "Yes, that's kind of obvious."

"Well, when I say that, I don't mean just the horns." He looked at her almost hesitantly and said it the most cautiously neutral voice she has ever heard from him, "What I mean is… I still follow the Qun."

Ah. "Again. That's kind of obvious," she couldn't help but tease him a bit.

This startled him so much that he let his carefully crafted neutral mask slip, "What? How and when did you realize?" This was the first time she has seen him so shocked.

"I've… travelled, after my escape from the Circle. I've met Tal-Vashoth. You're pretty much the opposite of what I've seen in them."

He continued to stare at her as if she turned into a demon right in front of him, but he also seemed pleased now.

Rush continued, since it seemed Bull was still too shocked to speak, "You're in control of yourself, no matter what, even when you're drunk. You follow the principles and concepts of duty and roles, just like the Qunari do. Not to mention the fact you have a title name under the Qun." She laughed softly, "I didn't realize you were hiding it, actually."

Bull stared at her some more, then visibly shook himself, "And I didn't realize I was slipping this much. Or that you are so observant. Where the hell did you learn so much about the Qunari?"

She smiled and relaxed against the crates at her back. "I had a lot of free time at the Circle. Our library was very impressive." He still stared at her expectantly, waiting, so she added, "Our archivist traded with what was left of the Fereldan Circle after the Blight and gained a copy of the Blight reports from the Hero of Ferelden. One of her companions was a Qunari called Sten. She sometimes mentioned him."

Bull sighed and leaned against his knees fully, "Those must have been some reports."

"More like an adventure novel, really. Still, it had more information, accurate information, about your people than all the other library books combined. Maybe because it was written by someone who actually met a Qunari," she snorted derisively as she thought about most of the Circle's knowledge of the Qun. Written by mages who never stepped foot outside the tower.

"How much do you know about the Ben-Hassrath, then?" Bull asked, cautious again.

"Never heard about it." At his raised eyebrow, she added, "I've read what Sten talked about, but he only ever mentioned the Antaam structure and some philosophy, nothing more."

"Oh. Well. Ben-Hassrath… they are basically spies, and secret police of the Qunari people." He looked at her, and added in a careful voice, "Or, I should say,  _we_  are." When Rush didn't say anything, Bull continued, "I was sent here, ostensibly as Tal-Vashoth, to gather useful information about the Orlesian nobility, which I then send to my superiors in Par Vollen." Bull waited for her reaction. He was very surprised when Rush only grinned.

"Does that mean Adlebrent's little secret won't stay secret and the Qunari people could eventually use it against him? Oh, that's rich!" She laughed.

"Wait, what secret?" Bull stared at her.

She raised surprised eyes to his, "The one about… his relationship with his late wife?"

"What of it? He was not the murderer."

She couldn't believe Bull didn't know. What kind of information did he gather and send, if he missed something like this? "They never had sex. That means their marriage was not consummated and could possibly be annulled."

"She's dead now, they can't do anything about it anymore." He shook his head, willing to dismiss it.

Rush smiled at him secretively and leaned in, "You're right, it can't be annulled. But you see, the Poutouilles could still demand her dowry back. Or have him removed from the list of possible heirs, which is a serious threat, especially if Anabelle was an only child. They married against their will, both of them, and while the Adlebrent family is an old one, the Poutouilles are very young… and rich. So for the Adlebrents, this match could not have been about prestige. Bet you ten royals that the Adlebrent line had financial troubles and it was only this forced marriage that gained them their fortunes back. If someone revealed to his late wife's family that the marriage was not a 'real one'… and perhaps gave them the diary written in Anabelle's own hand that proves it, Adlebrent would be left destitute."

Bull listened attentively, then slowly started grinning. He slapped his hand against his thigh and shouted, "Hah! This is great! At this rate, I'll have you join in writing my reports. This is exactly what my company needed! Someone who knows how the nobles here work!"

Rush started blushing. But before they could get too derailed, she needed to clear a few things up. "I'll be glad to help. Only…" she hesitated, unsure how to say it, then decided to jump right in, "I'm still Andrastian. I'm not giving that up."

It needed to be said. She will help him, gladly, but she didn't want to convert. As much as she respected the Qun, it was simply not for her.

Bull only gave her a gentle smile; a real, honest one and lifted his giant hand to gently caress her cheek. "I'll tell you what I told all my Chargers. I don't care who you light a candle for, so long as your sword arm's strong and your heart's true. You don't need to worry about me trying to convert you."

Rush shivered at his touch and laid her own hand on top of his. Her heart suddenly started beating much faster. She cleared her dry throat, "Y… yes. Alright."

He smiled down at her, and leaned even closer, "I must admit, no one ever had a reaction as good as yours, Rush."

She all but stopped breathing, "Wh…" Her eyes closed of their own accord. He was so  _close_ …

"But we still need to discuss  _this_ ," he said in his normal voice and withdrew to lean back against the crates.

Rush gasped for air and blinked a few times. That… was not fair.

"Rush, I caught the hints. I get what you're asking." He said calmly and watched her get her composure back.

She pulled herself together and straightened up with a soft cough, "I thought I was kind of obvious about it, actually."

Bull sighed, "I'm not what you're looking for. Qunari don't look at sex the same way you do. For us, it's not about bonding, but more like… going to visit a healer." He tried to explain.

"But you do have sex, right?" She didn't want to imagine what they'd be like if they hadn't.

He chuckled, "Oh yes, we definitely do. But it's all about needs. Physical needs. We don't do it with those we love."

She frowned in thought, "So how do you show someone you love them?"

Bull startled at that. He paused where he was leaning and fixed her with an intent stare. Then his expression leveled and Rush had a feeling whatever he will tell her won't be the complete truth. "The Ben-Hassrath teaches that when you're faced with a hostile target, you give them what they want. But when it's someone you care about, you give them what they  _need_."

She swallowed to clear her suddenly dry throat. This was turning a bit more serious than she was prepared for. Now she was almost sorry she asked. Almost. "And what is it that you need?"

He still watched her with that intense, searching look, as he slowly revealed more about his people, "Qunari warriors spend all their lives strictly controlling their every act, every gesture, every thought, to serve the demands of the Qun. They need to let go sometimes, let someone else be in control, with no fear of repercussions or reprimands. Especially those who lead, as they have the added burden of being responsible for lives other than their own."

So he wanted her to… what, control him as he let go? That didn't seem to fit. Not completely. And he did say 'Qunari warriors', not 'I'. Rush narrowed her eyes. "And what do  _you_  need?"

Bull stared at her for a long moment. Neither of them moved.

Rush barely dared to breathe. This was intense, and more than she expected when she opened this topic. But she refused to back down. In the time she spent with the Chargers, she came to care for the Iron Bull and she desired him as well. She was prepared to give him what he needed. Especially if it fulfilled her need to… be  _close_  to him, too.

"This is not the time or place to talk about that." Bull said eventually. "If you are certain this is what you want, join me in my room tonight, and I will explain."

She only nodded in response, as her throat was too tight. She stood up to join the rest of their company, but turned back when Bull called after her.

He looked directly into her eyes and said, "I just want you to know: Whatever you decide, whatever happens tonight, I won't think any less of you."

She smiled at him. It was so much like him to try and reassure her, when it was her who started this in the first place, and opened something she might not be ready for. "Thanks, Chief." It somehow felt  _right_  to call him that, at this moment. Much more right than calling him 'The Iron Bull'.

Rush turned to rejoin her friends and left the Iron Bull staring at the crates she previously sat at, lost in thought.

-rushing-ahead-rushing-ahead-rushing-ahead-

Krem lifted his head as soon as he saw her enter the tavern. Seeing the conflicted look on her face, he waved her over to his secluded corner. How he managed to get his own private space in a full, lively tavern was a mystery Rush doubted she'll ever be able to solve.

"So, how did your talk with Chief go?" he asked her the moment she sat down.

She understood what he was asking about… and his silent request that she not speak any details out loud in a tavern. "It went just fine." Then she smiled and added mischievously, "I think the biggest surprise was the fact that I wasn't all that surprised."

Krem lifted his eyebrow at her, then chuckled. "Yeah, 'dangerous'. I get what he meant now."

Before Rush could wonder about when Bull might have mentioned her being dangerous, Krem continued.

"Why the long face, then?" When Rush only looked at him, not understanding, Krem leaned back, "You look like someone kicked your puppy. Did something happen between you two?" He pulled a wine bottle to his lips and took a gulp.

"Well," Rush started, looking over at Bull's lieutenant. The person who has been with him the longest, from what she knew, who knew Bull the best. "I just wonder what it is that he  _needs_."

Krem sprayed wine all over the table, then started coughing.

"What? What do you people know that I don't?" She asked him with a small smirk. Despite the mostly serious question, she still found his reaction amusing.

"You and the Chief, huh?" Krem looked at her hesitantly when he got himself under control.

"Not yet, in fact." She said dryly and put her elbows on the table to lean in closer. "But I'd like to, and I want to do this right."

Krem scratched the back of his neck. "I'm not sure I should be the one telling you this." At her unimpressed stare, he continued quietly with a tired sigh, "The Chief… he… has a past. I never really asked in detail, but I know he came to Orlais when he… couldn't stand his old job anymore."

Rush felt her eyebrows try to climb into her hair. Bull? Couldn't stand something? That must have been really horrible, then. She remembered how skilled and… practiced he was at analyzing a murder scene. Suddenly, she wasn't so sure she wanted to know what happened.

"I don't know much, but from what I do know, it was crazy. Endless chaos he had no control over. So, at a guess, he needs to… stay in control," Krem continued, hesitant.

Her eyes widened. That was pretty much the opposite of what Bull told her his people needed. If what Krem said was true, their Chief was in a difficult position.

As Qunari and a leader of their company, he needed to let go. Relax and unwind. Let someone else be in charge for a moment.

As a man who came out of chaos he could no longer stand, he needed to stay in control.

…

'Poor Bull,' she thought and frowned down at the table. She finally understood what the missing piece was. When Bull said Qunari warriors needed to let go, she felt it was not the complete truth. And it turns out it really wasn't. The other half of him needed the  _exact opposite_.

Damn.

How could she give him all he needed? No single person could.

Krem watched her silently for a while, then spoke in a whisper, "There's one more thing you should know." When she raised her head to look at him, he continued, "Iron Bull has never been in a relationship. I mean, sure, he sleeps around a lot, but a commitment? Qunari don't do commitments. If you expect him to be your lover…"

Rush sighed and looked down. That much she noticed herself.

She still vividly remembered the bow-legged serving girl that left his room before their Storm Coast mission. It seemed he had the sex part of his needs covered perfectly, thank you very much. She doubted she could do any better, or more, than them.

That was when she remembered wondering if Bull had anyone to care for him. As a lover would.

She turned her attention back to Krem. "I know. I've… read about Qunari, so I know about… that. Bull also said some things. But that doesn't mean I can't try."

Krem watched for a second, then took another gulp of his wine. "As you wish. Just remember that he has other loyalties, too. Wouldn't do to mess with those."

She nodded and stood up. "In any case, it's a bit too soon to worry about that. We shall see what happens tonight. Maybe nothing will come of it."

Krem snorted into his wine, unconvinced, "If you say so."

Rush turned to walk away, then remembered something, "Hey, Krem? Remember those jars from our Storm Coast mission I showed you?" At his nod, she asked, "Do you know what they are?"

He smirked. "Qunari horn balm. Stops their horns from itching and helps with the flakiness. The Chief will be happy you found it. It's hard to come by in Orlais." His smirk turned mischievous. "Maybe you could help him apply it?"

Did he mean she should spread it on his... horns… She blushed and Krem sniggered into the wine bottle. Rush cleared her throat, gathered her dignity and went to collect one of the jars under Krem's knowing look.


	16. Chapter 16

The knock on his door was strange to hear in these human lands. By now, though, it was familiar despite the fact Bull only heard it twice before.

So she did come to him after all.

Heh, this was the first time a woman came to him for more  _before_  he showed her what he could to do first. First time a human woman came for  _him,_  to give him what he needed, rather than for what he could do for her. This was… new. He felt himself start to swell in his pants and swallowed.

"Come in!" he called out, much more gently than the first time they've met. He didn't want to scare her off before they even started talking.

Why was his heart beating so fast now? He felt like a boy holding a sword for the first time. She couldn't possibly get so close to him in such a short time, right? They knew each other for less than a month, for fuck's sake! He clenched his hand into a fist, feeling the old scars on his missing fingers pull taut.

The very idea that he could have someone he trusted and who trusted him back under his control… or even to let her  _control_   _him_ …

The door opened to reveal Rush, carrying a small cloth satchel.

Now he was curious what she had planned. It would almost be worth it to let her do as she pleased, to see what she had planned.

"Good evening, Bull," she spoke quietly, but confidently. Was she so certain she knew what he will ask of her?

"Good evening, Rush," he replied, letting a bit of  _danger_  slip into his tone. He took several steps closer, with full knowledge of just how menacing he appeared, and saw her eyes turn… gentle?

To his surprise, she took a step closer to him too.

Humans didn't usually approach him when he pulled a stunt like that. Could she possibly handle him? The thought sent a spike of pure heat through his gut. He decided to speak, before they accidently rushed too far ahead to hold a conversation. Bull refused to start anything before she knew what she was getting into and he got her consent to proceed.

"So, listen," he began in the voice he rarely used now. Non-threatening, but serious and calm. "You asked me what I need, but I'm not sure if you know what you're asking. If you're ready for it." He gently put his hands on her slender shoulders, giving her a soft squeeze. She might not be as slim and breakable as an elf, but at this moment, he thought her fragile as glass.

She smiled up at him, but instead of lust, he still saw that damned kindness in her eyes, "I believe I am." With shock, he recognized her expression as one of his own. "But not in the way you expect."

"Oh?" He lifted an eyebrow, curious despite himself about what she had planned. She was too shy around non-hostiles to try anything too adventurous. So much so, in fact, that he was worried about pushing her boundaries just by having plain sex with her. What could she possibly plan to do that she felt the need to warn him about it?

She looked down at the satchel in her hands, and opened it to pull out… wait, was that horn balm?

Bull bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself from smiling. "Do you know what it is?" he asked her gently, trying not to laugh. What did she think it was, some kind of kinky Qunari lube?

"Horn balm," he stated plainly and looked at him with a calm, knowing look.

Bull lost his smile. His heart wrenched, then started beating fast and strong inside his chest. He swallowed. This… this was the damn  _blanket_  all over again.

He had no idea how to react, what to do. None of his training prepared him for this. For a human to treat him with respect and caring; to set her own needs aside to fulfill  _his_.

Had she been Qunari, he would know the words to speak, the things to do, but… Rush was not.

Before he could decide, she took the matter into her own hands. She leaned in… and hugged him around the waist.

There was nothing sexual in that gesture. It was one of comfort and caring. It said, much louder than any words ever could, that everything will be alright. He swallowed again, and hugged her back.

They stood like that for several moments. Then Rush withdrew and Bull found he immediately missed her warmth.

"Come. Sit." She gently took one of his much larger hands into her own and led him to sit at the edge of his bed. Bull found himself obeying her without pause. She spoke with the voice eerily similar to that of a Tamassran, gentle but firm, and he knew better than to refuse a woman when she asked like that.

The moment he sat down, Rush placed her satchel next to him and opened the jar to scoop out a healthy amount of horn balm. He decided to simply watch her.

At the first touch of her small, gentle fingers on his horns, Bull closed his eye.

When he was assigned to Orlais, he thought that he'd never have this again, never have another care for him like his people did, unless he asked to be reassigned back to Seheron, back to his original duty. Most days, the comforts of his new role were good enough to override the pain, the way he still missed simple companionship with no hidden agendas. When he knew what everyone's duty was and could trust them to fulfill it.

Then he'd watch the people around him, the greed, selfishness and betrayals of those they professed they loved and found himself missing his people so much it  _hurt_.

Because that was the point of this assignment, wasn't it?

The Ben-Hassrath did nothing without purpose, without a goal. Assigning him to play Tal-Vashoth was the best way to make sure he would never feel any desire to truly become one.

It worked. It worked for a long, long time. Until the moment he decided he had enough of following incompetents and the Bull's Chargers mercenary company was born. Until he commanded his own men, and found them just as good, just as worthy as the men who followed him, died for him back in Seheron.

The only thing Qunari had that the Orlesian didn't… were the Tamassrans. Those who speak.

He had no idea humans had them too.

Bull concentrated on the way her soft human hands spread the balm on his horns. Much harder than he would have expected her to, as most humans were scared of them, no matter how the foreign horns also excited them. Rush spread the balm on them as if they were just another part of his body. And just the way he liked it, too. Hard, but above all,  _caring_. She was careful with the skin at the base, firm in the middle and teased the tips. Bull swallowed, but didn't move a muscle despite the desire now tenting his pants. No way will he miss a single second of this. Whatever  _this_  actually was.

When she stopped, he almost groaned with disappointment. He enjoyed her touch. Way more than he should.

Before he could turn around to get to the 'fun part' of the evening, Rush laid a hand on his shoulder. "Stay," she commanded in that damnably calm and certain voice that only made him harder, then picked up her satchel again.

She wiped her hands on a small piece of cloth, then pulled out… a bottle of massage oil. He closed his eye and swallowed a moan once again. Looked like she was not done with him yet. He didn't know whether to be pleased or disappointed that they weren't going any further yet. His body settled on aroused, but he was nothing if not a patient man. His resolve was tested, though, when she all but sat on his lap to unbuckle his harness.

He breathed out, giving her control of the situation, releasing all the tension from his shoulders and let her do whatever she intended to. She laid his harness aside, went to sit behind him, warming some of the oil in her hands, then gently set her hands on his shoulders and applied pressure.

_More pressure than she should be able to make._

He opened his eye curiously to look at the hand on his shoulder. It was just as pale and fragile looking as usual; the hand of a lady.

The same hand that used magic to lift and wield weapons too heavy for her to handle.

She paused, but didn't withdraw. Her hand rested on his shoulder and the  _extra_  pressure disappeared. He lifted his head to look at her, and found her watching him with a calm expression.

"Relax, Bull." She didn't back down, wouldn't look away even as he stared at her for what felt like an eternity.

This was magic. The thing every Qunari was afraid of. He was no exception to this rule, even if he allowed and welcomed mages among his men. They didn't use magic on  _him_ , after all. Yet Rush just did. He was not even truly surprised to realize he didn't mind it half as much as he should.

In fact, he realized with shock, he didn't mind it at all.

He made his decision and relaxed under her hands, turning to look up front again. He felt rather than saw her smile as she continued massaging his shoulders, applying pressure human hands weren't supposed to be capable of. Pressure bordering on pain, in just the right spots, kneading the knots of his muscle. Exactly what he needed.

Bull smiled to himself and wondered just how much her body could take. Now that he thought about it, he didn't see her injured yet, though he heard from Krem that she took the full brunt of a giant's hit right in the spine, was sent flying head first into a rock… and survived, not much worse for wear.

It made him  _wonder_.

As her hands continued to work down his arms, he snorted to himself. 'Heh, I think like a human now, with nothing but sex on my mind'. He swallowed, feeling her so close to him, smelling the sweet combination of massage oil, horn balm and something else that must be Rush herself.

He invited her to his room for no other purpose than pleasure. But then again, she had found the purpose for him. He smiled faintly as her hands went back to his shoulders and continued working his muscles, far more relaxed now.

If the Ben-Hassrath knew how far he fell, how he found his own private little Qun with the Chargers, he'd be declared Tal-Vashoth on spot.

He interrupted her work by leaning back to rest his head on Rush's chest and smiled at the way his horns encompassed her body, too wide for her slender shoulders. She hesitated, then one of her hands gently rested on his cheek.

He closed his eye and, for the first time in his life, thought that being Tal-Vashoth might not be so bad.

-rushing-ahead-rushing-ahead-rushing-ahead-

It felt like hours later when Rush finally lifted her head, wiped the sweat off her brow and sat down heavily next to Bull's quietly sleeping form.

This was more exhausting than she expected. Both physically and mentally. There were several moments when she thought Bull would refuse to go along with her plans. Especially the moment when he realized she was using magic to give her hands more strength. But he eventually acquiesced to her silent request. Command. He let her move him around, lay him down on the bed and take care of his physical needs… in a manner of speaking.

When she tried to figure out what she could do for her Chief, how she could fulfill his needs, she had one thought that simply wouldn't leave her.  _He already had the sex part of his needs covered_. No matter what she could do in that area, she couldn't do any more or better than all those serving girls or whoever else he slept with. If she wanted to help him, to show him she cared, she needed to find something else, something  _different_. So she did.

And sex? That could come later. This  _was_  going a bit too fast for her anyway.

Her plan had been a bit uncertain, but thankfully it worked out just fine. She had been right to think Bull had no one to care for him. Not like this. As much as his men trusted him, they were still mercenaries and caring or, Maker forbid, _nurturing_ , was not exactly part of their job descriptions. For some time, Bull had been tense and prepared for an attack, before he finally relaxed and let her do as she pleased. She ended up working the tension from his body as much as she could, but felt that she still failed.

There was just too much damage for a simple massage to fix. It made her heart hurt.

She was no healer, not by a long shot, but her skills as Knight-Enchanter allowed her to notice aberrations in the physical form. She had to know how bodies worked, if she wanted to manipulate her own to her advantage. The skills came in handy when spotting wounds, and the Iron Bull's body… was one big wound.

Nearly every bone in his body had been broken at some point, his insides carried weapon damage that should have killed him on spot, his skin and flesh were ravaged with old wounds and scars that surely still hurt. Every muscle in his body screamed with pain she noticed the moment she touched them.

It was a wonder their Chief could move at all, much less fight in this condition.

Her main regret right now was that she did not take the chance to learn healing at the Circle when she could. Had she learned, she might have been better prepared to help him… thought she had a feeling that no amount of healing would help Bull at this point. The damage simply went too deep.

But she was willing to learn, just to make it a little bit easier on his end. If not to fix him, then at least to make his life bearable.

She looked back at his sleeping form. He laid on this back, bare naked and deeply asleep. This time for real, it seemed. With a smile, she realized that she felt no need to look away or cover his nudity. She barely paused when she undressed him, and was not even surprised to see he wore no underwear. In fact, she almost expected him not to wear any.

Her eyes took in his powerful form, for the first time not as a healer, but as a woman.

He truly was… astounding. Strong. Muscular. He had the body of a true warrior, scars included. Her hand rose of its own to gently skim down his chest. She felt his deep breathing under her palm and moved her hand down to rest on his stomach.

He was softer here than anywhere else, she thought with a fond smile, no doubt due to all the ale and sweets she saw him eat during their travels. Instead of being put off, she found it strangely adorable. It made him more approachable than perfection ever could.

His thighs were next to be admired. Thicker and stronger than what she's seen on any other man. But then, as a mage, she had only ever seen other mages, who didn't have much muscle, nor any reason to build some up. The only warriors she knew were templars she wouldn't touch if they paid her… and the chevalier tutors from when she became a Knight-Enchanter. None of whom she ever saw naked.

She caressed the grey skin of his inner thigh and had to fight down a blush. There was just  _so much of him_. In more ways than one. She swallowed and let herself watch his manhood as well. Bigger than any she'd ever seen, even flaccid as it was in his sleep. For a moment, she hesitated and wondered if she'll ever be ready to take him in fully. Will she need to use her skills in body manipulation to… make herself more… pliable?

She blushed harder at her own thoughts, but realized she wouldn't mind some minor body adjustments during sex, if it meant she could have all of him. If she could keep up with him as a lover.

She skimmed her hand down to rest on his calf and felt it tremble lightly, even asleep as he was. She kept her warm hand there, pushing magic into her palm to make it warmer, and felt the tremors ease a bit. ' _It might be possible to heal this'_ , she thought with a smile and gave his leg a gentle squeeze.

After a moment, she stood up with a small sigh and went to gather his blanket. While she wanted nothing more than to cuddle up next to his powerful body and fall asleep like that, today was… too much. She might have pushed too far, come closer to his heart than was wise, and she didn't want to push his boundaries more than she already had. Let him sleep, she thought, and if he was willing to accept this, accept them being closer than a one-night stand, to have a relationship, he will come back to her.

She covered him with blankets, gathered her things and went to sleep in her own room.

-rushing-ahead-rushing-ahead-rushing-ahead-

She sat down next to Stitches early in the morning next day and tried to find the best way to breach the topic of Bull's health. If she knew anything about healers, it was that they didn't like to talk about their patient's condition, and while Stitches might not have been a trained healer or even a surgeon, he was just as protective of their Chief as the rest of them.

Thankfully, Stitches started talking first, "So, how was your night with the Chief?" he asked her with a smile.

Rush looked at him incredulously. How did he know about them? The only one who she 'told' was Krem and he wouldn't share… Although, come to think of it, Dalish might have guessed too, as she saw her leaving with the horn balm yesterday. Rocky probably did as well. And Skinner…

She sighed, "I have a feeling that secrets don't stay secrets long around here," she commented dryly.

He grinned at her and took another spoon full of the porridge he ate every morning. How he could stand the bland grey sludge, she'll never understand. Maybe because it was 'healthy'. Well, so long as he didn't try to force it on her… "In a mercenary company as small as this and not busy with a job? You bet they don't. So, how did it go?"

She shook her head with a quiet chuckle. "Great, actually. But I wanted to talk to you about… well, about Bull's health."

Stitches lost his smile and concentrated on his porridge. "Ah." He sighed. "So you noticed, then."

"That his body is on the verge of falling apart? You bet I did." She was not sure how to ask, so she went ahead as tactfully as she could, "Is there any way I can help?"

"Not really," Stitches sighed and pushed his bowl away to give Rush his full attention. "I already give him the best poultices and potions I can, but… even those aren't quite enough to heal him anymore. The fact that he's technically a Reaver doesn't help either."

Her eyebrow rose in surprise, "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Reavers use pain to fight. Their own pain. That means that the more hurt they are, the stronger they get and the more damage they cause to their enemies." Stitches poked the porridge listlessly, "Chief… is in a lot of pain. All the time. So much so that he built his entire fighting style around it. But using pain in this way is very damaging, to himself even more than his enemies."

"How long has he been doing this?" Rush asked him quietly.

"Ever since I can remember." Stitches sighed, then continued, "I think he started… back during his old job, so it's been a while and he got used to it. Still, he's getting worse. I honestly don't know how long he can… keep this up."

Rush bowed her head. It was worse than she expected. If he regularly used his pain in combat… there was a good chance that even healing magic won't be able to help. Every single injury would be used to power up his attacks; his consciousness, the  _intent_ making it that much harder to heal. Almost impossible, in fact.

"Why would he choose this?" She was dismayed. As much as she wanted to help, it seemed she won't be able to. Bull was already set on this path, and has been for a long time. Now she knew why his battle roars back on the Storm Coast scared her so much - there was pain in them. Not only the promise of pain for his enemies, but his own as well.

"I think it was more of an unavoidable consequence than choice," Stitches added quietly. At her questioning look, he explained, "He still sometimes… defends, out of reflex. Us, mostly. I've known many warriors in my time and I know a Champion when I see one. He probably only became Reaver when he wasn't able to stand the hits a Champion could take anymore."

She raised her head, "So, it's possible to heal him and…" she paused.

Stitches only sighed. "You're welcome to try, Rush. But I honestly don't think  _anyone_  can heal him completely at this point."

Rush felt new determination rise within her. "Doesn't matter if I can't heal him  _completely_. Every little bit helps. I'm still going to try."

The first thing she'll do when they get to the marketplace would be to find a tome of healing and learn how to heal properly. With her skills in body-manipulation as a Knight-Enchanter and some proper knowledge on healing, there was no way she could fail to help him.

Stitches smiled and took another spoonful of his porridge. "I wish you luck, then." He swallowed, then looked over at her pensively. "And if you learn to heal, maybe you can help me with stitching up our men sometimes. What do you say?"

Rush smiled back. "It would be my pleasure."

She settled in more comfortably, prepared to order her own food, when they both heard heavy steps on the stairs. Steps so heavy that they could only belong to Bull. Rush automatically turned to watch him as he came to view.

Was it just her imagination, or did he seem… stronger today? Or perhaps that was not the right word. He moved with certainty and focus, even more so than he usually did.

Her breath caught. He truly was… an impressive man. Today even more so than usual.

Their eyes met and Rush felt heat spread through her body. The look in his single eye was  _scorching_.

She stood up to greet him as he approached, but before she could say a single word, Bull took her by hand and gently but firmly led her outside, back to the same spot where he told her he was Ben-Hassrath. He took one quick look around to see they were alone here, then he turned to face her.

"What is…" was the only thing she managed to say, before Bull pushed her against the wall.

Then his mouth covered hers and he kissed her, hard.

He kissed her with more passion than she ever felt in her life and his hands grabbed her shoulders to hold her still as he leaned over her. His stubble scratched the soft skin on her face. She felt it burn everywhere it touched her. She whimpered and lifted her hands to touch him, but before she could make contact, he growled into their kiss and pinned her with his whole body against the tavern wall. Then he abandoned her shoulders to grab her hips instead.

Rush felt dwarfed by him, trapped between rock and hard muscles. His lips caught her breathless moans and all she could do was grab his horns and hold on tight as he pressed his tongue against her lips, then plunged it inside the moment she opened up for him. She moaned and felt him press even deeper. Deeper than she ever felt before, more than any human could. He was…  _everywhere_. It made her lightheaded.

He pulled their bodies even closer together and she felt the insistent press of his erection against her core. She moaned helplessly around his tongue and pushed her hips against his. He growled and kissed with even more passion, if that was possible.

The insistent movement of his hips, the unrelenting feeling of his tongue plundering her mouth…  _'It's too much'_ she thought as she tried her best to return his passion in kind _._  But she couldn't keep up, couldn't move, couldn't  _think_.

She was overwhelmed.

Just when she was on the verge of drawing back from him, from the sheer  _intensity_  of him, one thought flashed through her mind. ' _Let go. You don't need to control this. Just let him kiss you.'_ She relaxed in his hold and heard him groan deeply, helplessly, as his hands covered her backside and he pulled her up against him. Her legs around his hips, he moved his hips rhythmically against her, then one of his hands grabbed the back of her neck to hold her in place as he continued his assault on her mouth.

She felt on the verge of coming, from the burning, scratching kiss and the movement of his hips alone. She gave up on trying to return every gesture in kind and simply enjoyed the ride. Bull seemed to enjoy her sudden pliancy too, as a steady growl formed in his throat and travelled through their connected mouths to vibrate deep inside her chest. Then it fell lower and transformed into sticky wetness between her legs.

She felt ready to plead him to take her right there and screw it if anyone saw them.

Bull must have noticed they were going too far, though, as he slowed down. Rush whimpered in disappointment as he stopped moving his hips to slowly set her back down on the ground. His mouth didn't leave hers yet, though. Instead of the insistent, passionate assault, their kiss became a playful chase, then a gentle caress, until finally he pulled back with one last sweet peck against her lips.

He looked into her passion-blown eyes and smiled down at her, "Good morning, Rush."

Her dazed eyes rose to meet his. "Uh." That was all she could manage at the moment. If he didn't still hold her firmly by the back of her neck and her backside, she felt she would simply slide down to the ground and melt into a puddle. "Uh."

Bull's reddened lips pulled into a grin. "Thought you might like it. Since yesterday ended kind of one-sided, I decided to even it out a little bit." A gentle light entered his eye. He leaned in close to rest his forehead against hers. "Yesterday was… That was  _good_ , Kadan."

She blinked stupidly a couple times, trying to clear her head. Then she smiled up at him, "Anytime, Chief."

He smiled back and enveloped her in a hug.

Rush closed her eyes and enjoyed their close contact. Still, she couldn't help but imagine what sex with him would be like. If a  _kiss_  (and a bit of passionate groping) could turn her to mush and all but overwhelm her… She wondered, once again, if she should use her Knight-Enchanter skills and manipulate her body to accept him. All of him. Completely.

' _I will need a good strategy,'_  she thought with a mischievous smirk and hugged him back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Rush rushed so far ahead that she skipped the whole D/s thing and started with aftercare. What can I say? She likes to aim for the heart. :3
> 
> Also, when a man confesses that he's afraid of becoming a rebel, you don't send him into enemy territory to pretend he's a rebel. Seriously, that's an epic dick move. Poor Bull.
> 
> On a less pleasant note, I might need a bit more time to finish up the next chapter. It's… mostly written, but I don't like it :/ So, there might not be a chapter next week, if I can't figure out how to make it better. And determine what tone it will set for the next big Chargers mission. So, I hope you enjoyed this longer chapter and hopefully I'll have the next part finished in two weeks :)


	17. Chapter 17

Unfortunately, mercenary work waits on no one.

Rush joined Krem in scouting the market for more tasks suitable for the Chargers. As much as she wanted to go with Bull, she didn't trust herself not to do something embarrassing. Like, try to jump him in the middle of a busy marketplace.

Krem could handle scouting by himself, of course, but they all decided to test and see if Rush and her knowledge of the Orlesian nobility could be used to get them even more lucrative tasks than usual. Plus, she wanted to find a Tome of Healing, if she could. She didn't forget her plan to heal Bull, not even after that mind-blowing kiss.

She might have also wanted to avoid Stitches' knowing smirks as he whittled away at a piece of wood and pretended he wasn't looking at her puffed up lips and red cheeks… Or Dalish and her giggle-snorts when Rush stumbled past her on wobbly legs.

At least Krem only teased once (' _maybe nothing will happen,_ right?') before he dragged her off to check the marketplace with him.

"…and, above all, I will need you to be  _discreet_ ," came the snotty, nasal voice of an older man from… the Chantry?

'Hmm, risky, but promising', she thought and exchanged a look with Krem. They both moved slowly towards the door.

"If I do you a bloody favor, I want to know exactly what we're dealing with!" growled a different voice with a Fereldan accent. "No way will I get my men killed over some bleeder's idiocy. You won't tell us what we're getting into and you want us 'discreet'? Pay extra!"

"As I have told you before, this is not a Chantry matter. I cannot use our diplomatic funds on a private affair!" The reply was disgusted, but Rush heard a hint of honest desperation in the Chantry man's voice as well.

This didn't seem to be a well-paying job… but if the requirement was secrecy, Bull's people could use to know about it.

"Then find some other blighter to deal with it!" the harsh reply came almost at the same time as the half-closed door banged open. "Out of my bloody way!" The man in heavy armor growled as he pushed past them and marched down the marketplace.

The Chantry was silent, except for a single disgusted snort coming from the inside.

Rush moved closer to the open door. A figure in Chantry robes stepped half-way into the light and Rush asked politely, "Is there anything we can help you with,… Chancellor?" Rush felt her heart beat faster and had to fight the urge to turn tail and run.

The voice belonged to none other than the Divine's Chancellor, Lord Roderick Asignon.

She knew him to be an unpleasant man, from the few times she met him during Chantry gatherings where she served as Knight-Enchanter bodyguard to several high-ranking members of the Chantry.

She only hoped that as a mage and so one of the 'servants', outside the Chantry power hierarchy, she'd been too invisible for him to remember. Maker protect her if she was not.

The Chancellor checked both her and Krem over. Rush straightened under his condescending stare, but didn't back down. "I'd chastise you for listening on my private conversation," he began and Rush gulped quietly, "but it seems I might have a need of your services. You are  _mercenaries_ , are you not?" He graced them with a disgusted sneer.

Rush almost sighed with relief. She was grateful, now more than ever, for Bull's gift. The leather armor she wore made her look too much like a mercenary to be considered anything else. The daggers at her back must have helped reinforce the image too.

Krem threw a quick look in her direction. When he saw she was not at her best, he jumped in, "We are, ser. The Bull's Chargers, one of the best mercenary companies of Southern Thedas. You can ask around, we've got references."

Roderick only scoffed, "Then you are in luck, for I have need of your… people."

"What do you need, then?" Krem asked, obviously unwilling to spend any energy on being polie when it was obvious Roderick didn't plan to, either.

"I need you to find and escort back a young tranquil mage." He raised an eyebrow when he saw Rush flinch, but continued on, "She has been kidnapped by a group of rogue templars, whom you will likely have to deal with."

Krem looked at him incredulously. "You want us to kill templars? Aren't you part of the Chantry?"

Roderick scowled harder and started pacing. "They are thugs. Thugs who supposedly serve the Chantry, but these do not even do that! They refuse to obey any orders, start a rebel group somewhere in the mountains, and now they kidnap… one of our archivists. They need to be stopped, the sooner the better."

Both of them noticed the slight pause before Roderick named the Templar's victim. That must have been part of the secret, then.

Rush saw Krem take a breath and knew that whatever he planned to say, it will probably be either rude or  _ask too many questions_. She laid a hand on his shoulder and stepped forward, "Where will we find them?"

Roderick looked at her, suspicious of their sudden compliance. "According to my information, they are holed up somewhere along the King's Road in Hinterlands." He pulled out a small map with red mark symbolizing a small house or a hut from what Rush could see. "There has been a rumor that a group of dangerous apostates have holed up in there. Though why exactly the templars have dragged our archivist there, I cannot say."

"What is the archivist's name?" Krem asked quietly.

Roderick swallowed, "Helisma." He took a deep breath and continued, "She will make no trouble and will follow along the moment you order her to. It is the templars you will need to deal with." His brow furrowed, "And, as you might have heard, I need you to be discreet."

Krem hesitated, then looked back at Rush. She gave a tiny shake of her head. This was not the time for questions, not if they wanted to get the job. Krem turned back to Roderick and nodded, "We can do that."

Roderick briefly closed his eyes in relief, then glared at them again, "Then get to it. This is a time-sensitive matter, and cannot be postponed. Get back to me once you have the girl, safe and sound, and bring her with you."

Rush saw Krem bite his lip to stop a rude comment. She wasn't feeling too charitable towards the man either, but comforted herself with the fact that once they sniff out his secret, Bull will be able to use to do… whatever it was he did.

Krem shook hands with the Chancellor, then they both turned to go.

Before they could leave the Chantry, though, Roderick turned to Rush and asked, "By the way, haven't I seen you before? You look familiar, girl."

Rush gave him a polite, if slightly strained smile and quickly thought of the best reply. "It is possible, messere. Our mercenary company travels all across Thedas. We have met many well-travelled gentlemen in our line of duty, though we have not had the opportunity to work for the Chantry yet."

Too much? Maker, she hoped not. Too late she realized that coming across as  _too cultured_  could be dangerous here, too. She has never faced  _that_  problem before.

Thankfully it seemed the bit about mercenary company did its work as Roderick lost interest in her and turned back to Krem. "Don't forget, I want no senseless heroics that could endanger the hostage. She must be brought back safely, otherwise you won't get paid. Are we clear?"

"Yes, sir." The muscle in Krem's cheek strained as he bit down on a comment once again.

She laid a comforting hand on his shoulders, as she's seen (and felt) Bull do so many times. Miraculously, it worked and Krem relaxed. They exchanged a look and turned to go.

Bull will want to hear this.

-rushing-ahead-rushing-ahead-rushing-ahead-

"…and I think this is a great chance to get the Chantry to back off, if we ever have trouble with… you know what." Krem finished his explanation, when they all sat down for lunch at the tavern an hour later.

Bull scratched the stubble on his neck and leaned back. "It could blow up in our faces, too."

"True, but I don't think we'll ever get a better chance to get some dirt on the Chantry." Rush injected calmly.

"Through him?" Bull narrowed his eyes. "What is he again? The 'Chancellor'? What kind of position is that? How much power does he really have?" He stared at her thoughtfully, but didn't dismiss her words.

She smiled a little. It felt good to have Bull listen to her, to consider what she said. If she was honest with herself, she was a bit afraid that he will respect her less after that kiss. She  _did_  let go of all her control the moment he touched her. But it seemed Bull refused to let anything that happened between them get in the way of a job. She felt warmth spread over her chest, once again. This man…

She got back on track quickly and explained. "He's the invisible right hand of the Divine." When the rest of the Chargers looked at her as if she was crazy, she only smiled again and continued, "It's him who assigns the Divine's meetings, schedules her day to day activities, advises her on all mundane affairs, introduces her to those who wish to ask for her favor, verifies all the documents she signs, overviews the activities of the Grand Clerics and controls and checks the activities of the Lord Seeker."

Skinner stopped sharpening her daggers for a moment, looked up to meet Rush's eyes and leaned in, "Why didn't we hear about him before, then, if he's so important?"

"Because, despite the power he has, he is a man and so does not have any hope of ever becoming the next Divine. Most of the Grand Clerics and the Templar order consider him a servant of the Divine, so they overlook and dismiss him as unimportant. A bureaucrat; nothing more. Even Mother Hevara tried to get to the Divine  _through_  him, instead of trying to court Roderick's favor to have him permit her audience with the Divine. Probably the reason why she failed." She said, lost in thought.

"Who?" Krem asked.

"Oh, Mother Hevara? Just one of the social-climbers in Val Royeaux. I don't even know which Chantry she serves, as she spends all her time politicking and attending 'important' parties. I have served as her…" she looked around at the half-full tavern and decided to omit any mention of magic, "…bodyguard. Funny, from what I've seen today, he paid more attention to  _me_  just now, than he ever did to her at any of the gatherings I've been to."

Bull frowned, "Did he recognize you?"

She smiled once again at the concern in his voice. "No, he didn't. I'd be surprised if he did - I kind of look different now. He must also meet a lot of people, so I doubt he'd recognize me, unless someone told him my name. Maybe not even then."

Dalish put down her stew and looked at Rush curiously, "Do you really look so different now?"

Rush couldn't help but laugh, "Sure I do. A year ago, I spent most of my time  _inside_. Reading, teaching the… children assigned to me, and politicking in equal measure." Figured that a dalish girl who spent most of her life outdoors wouldn't know. "I was really, really pale, with free-flowing hair down to my butt. Plus, I always wore… skirts."

"Hate to break it to you, princess, but you're still pale." Rocky injected with a smirk.

"But not as much as she used to be," Skinner countered and watched Rush so intently that it made her mildly uncomfortable. "Your skin is a shade darker than when you first came here. You look healthier, too."

"I do?" Rush asked, surprised.

"Sure you do, Rush, you look much less tired now." Dalish answered with a kind smile.

"Huh." Well, not being hunted and knowing what tomorrow will bring must have been good for her complexion, she thought with a mental snort. "But my looks won't fool the templars, you know. They will recognize me through different means."

"Hmm…" Bull tapped fingers against his lips. "Do you want to skip this mission, then?"

"Never, Chief," she smirked at him. "Besides, we won't leave any of them alive to talk, right?"

"The hostage might, though."

"Then I'll just make sure to stay out of her sight as much as I can and fight with my daggers. I can keep my secrets, you know…" she commented dryly. "Besides, I know these people; how they think, how they act. It'll be useful to have me there."

Bull just smiled. "Very well. For this mission, the team will be me, Rush, Krem and Stitches. Rocky, Dalish, Skinner and Grim can take care of the Carta smugglers in Les Mendiantes. Don't forget to bring the goods back to Cadash and his people after you're done."

"Will do, Boss," they saluted him mockingly.

Bull grinned at them, then stood up. His people followed. "Alright, men. Horns up!"

"Horns up!" They shouted back. Then they went to pack and prepare for their missions.

Before she could leave, Rush saw Bull wave her over to him. She blushed a little, but followed him anyway. They walked into his room, where he turned to her as soon as the door closed. She was mildly disappointed, when Bull started talking. She kind of hoped to get another kiss.

"Now, will you really be fine with this mission, Rush?" He asked her seriously. "Too much crap can go wrong with this one. You can't predict how this will turn out."

She nodded in acknowledgment, but replied, "True, but this chance is too good to pass up. To get dirt on the Chancellor himself, or to have the favor of a powerful Chantry official at the very least. Plus, I get to kill some rogue templars who have been hurting my people for way too long. Now I finally have a chance to put a stop to them."

Bull closed his eye and sighed. Then he put his hands on her shoulders, "Rush, revenge is never a good reason to risk your life."

"This is not revenge. Not really," she defended herself. "The only one who deserves my revenge is the person who ordered Rylan to kill me, and I don't even know who that is. This is my chance to…" she paused.

"Yes?" He raised an eyebrow at her.

With a sigh, she explained, "Chance to prove my innocence." She lowered her head to look down. Incidentally, she ended up watching the way Bull's chest moved as he breathed. 'Too distracting', she thought with a blush and looked back up into Bull's amused eye. "There was doubt about my guilt when I ran away; there must have been. If I do some favors now, even if they don't know it's me, it will make them doubt even more when they finally catch up with me and bring me back for a trial. I can use the favors as an argument, to persuade them to actually investigate what happened when I fled."

Bull's eye shone with sad understanding as he watched her.

Rush leaned into him and felt his strong arms envelop her in a hug. She whispered, "I can't spend my entire life hunted. Sooner or later, they will catch up with me and then I'll have to defend myself. Politically, this time. I'd rather have some weapons in my arsenal than go in unprepared."

"I understand, Rush," he murmured soothingly into her hair.

She relaxed even further in his arms. She didn't know how he did it, but he surprised her once again. The fiery passion of their kiss… it made her think that's what their relationship will be like from now on. Fighting, drinking, passion. Not… comfort. ' _Silly me_ ', she thought with a self-deprecating smile, ' _Bull is more than that. He's always been more_.' She buried her face in his chest and took a deep breath. It calmed something in her, something she didn't even know needed calming.

His large, scarred hand rose up to gently rest on the back of her neck. When she lifted her head to look at him, he leaned in and gave her a gentle kiss. Her heart skipped a beat, struck by the sheer tenderness of it.

They stood close for a moment, then Rush sighed contentedly and gently withdrew.

It was time to get on with their mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So, I think I know where I want to go with this. The next part is planned and plotted out. I hope you'll like it :)
> 
> Btw, please don't mind my comment about Cadash :D My personal head-canon is that all the potential inquisitors exist; the 'honor' of becoming the Herald just goes to the nosiest one (or the most 'inquisitive', if you prefer).


	18. Chapter 18

'So, the Hinterlands are very… quaint,' Rush thought as they passed another small village in a picturesque valley, filled with beautiful streams of clear water and well-tended fields. Her satchel was half-full already from all the different kinds of elfroot, spindleweed, embrium and even a couple crystal graces she gathered on the way through the rich smelling forests and fertile valleys. 'Or, at least it would be, if not for this stupid mage-templar war.'

As beautiful as this village and the one before were, they passed many more that were burned to the ground. As much as she hated the Circle, it was better than  _this_. No one should ever consider killing farmers and innocents over food to be a reasonable or logical choice. It made her feel ashamed so much as being a mage.

'Funny, though, how everyone seems to only blame the mages.' They have passed corpses who were not burned or clawed to death; these had arrows sticking out of their throats and guts spilling from sword wounds. Way too many people in common clothes to belong to apostates. The templars must have killed just as many innocents as the mages, yet mages were the only ones really blamed, somehow. Rush sighed, shook her head and followed the Iron Bull.

The saddest thing were the children. Shaking, shivering, hungry little things with huge, fear filled eyes, clutched in the arms of their families or worse yet - shivering alone. She remembered her apprentices, the children of the Circle. Imagined them suffering like this somewhere out there, hunted by ruthless bastards with swords, carrying little phials of children's blood in their cold, metal covered hands… She closed her eyes in pain.

If only there was something she could do for them…

They ran up another steep mountain path. The map showed they were getting close to the templar's hut. Just a couple more turns and they will see it.

Then she saw it. More corpses of refugees, cut apart by swords, laying by the road as if they were nothing more than garbage. A man, woman… a couple children. Rush saw  _red_. Her hand clutched into a fist. Hurting mages was obviously no longer enough for these bastards. Now they started killing innocents as well. Bu no matter,  _she will stop them soon enough_ …

Rush paused when she felt eyes on her. She turned and looked right into Bull's eye. He watched her with a neutral expression. That was when she realized she was actually shaking from the force of her rage.

This was not the proper mood to be in when she went to fight. Especially against people who could neutralize most of her powers.

She closed her eyes briefly, took a deep breath and released it, slowly. A couple more breaths, and the burning rage turned into cold determination to see this job through. She will not let her feelings distract her, not from this. When she looked back at Bull, he gave her a smile and nodded proudly.

She felt new energy enter her as she ran up the path, from Bull's proud look alone. Her daggers were ready for anything their enemies might throw at her.

At times like these, she was grateful that she became a Knight-Enchanter. The worst these men could do to her was make her attacks weaker should they block her magic. But considering how much she fought physically since her escape and the amount of training she went through with both Skinner and Krem, she was now a powerful fighter even without the extra magical help. The templars will be in for a nasty surprise when they try to fight her.

The hut finally came into view… and everyone stopped cold in their tracks. What from distance seemed nothing more than smoke from cooking fire actually rose from the ashes of smoldering wooden planks that once made the hut walls. There were corpses in the distinctive templar armor spilled all over the front steps and the ground. Burnt corpses, and ones torn apart by claws. The smell of magic and lyrium permeated the air.

"Well… shit," Bull commented from beside her. His voice sounded strange. Almost… afraid? "Demons."

Rush looked around, "Can't be the tranquil. Those can't get possessed. Apostates, maybe?" Where could they have gone? Obviously not to hide among the people as she did, otherwise their demon 'friends' would have slaughtered all the people at the Crossroads already.

Krem carefully stepped around the corpses to check the remains of the hut. Stitches went to follow him.

By unspoken agreement, Rush and Bull stayed behind to check the bodies. They might find some clues here.

Rush went through the pockets of several of the templars. She didn't recognize any of them. Most had some money, which she will put in the common bag to share with the other members of their team, one had daggers that looked better than hers. She pocketed those to test and use later. None of these had anything that would reveal their plans, though.

She walked closer to one of the torn and mutilated corpses. One of its legs lay several feet away, completely separated from the body. The back of the chest plate was torn off, revealing cloth, flesh and bits of bone from severed spine underneath. She swallowed and shivered in disgust as she grabbed the corpses' arm to turn it over.

That's when she felt it. A strange tremor passed through her magic as she touched the corpse's arm. It was a familiar feeling, almost like…

Her eyes widened and she reached for the leather bag tied to the templar's waist. With shaking fingers, she opened it and reached inside. Her hand closed around the familiar sword hilt. Tears stung her eyes as she pulled out her own spirit blade.

"Something wrong, Rush?" Bull asked quietly from beside her.

She looked up at him and showed him the lazurite blade hilt in her hands. She took a shuddering breath, "Remember how I mentioned that I saved money to buy my spirit blade back?" At his nod, she continued, "This is it. Valor's blade."

"What's it doing here?"

She paused. Then she looked back down at the corpse. She turned it over and pulled down the templar's helmet.

"Rylan." Somehow, it wasn't a shock to find him here. In fact, she almost expected him to join some group of mage-hunters and rogue templars willing to kill anyone with magic. "How did he get the blade, though? I doubt he could have afforded to buy it."

A terrible thought entered her mind. Did he…?

She picked up the small leather bag again and looked at the rest of its contents. "Coin bags, writs of passage,… a merchant ledger."

Something no merchant would ever willingly part with.

Not while he lived.

Bull laid a hand on her shoulder, but didn't say a thing. She didn't need him to.

Logically, she knew she couldn't be blamed for Rylan's actions, and if he chose to murder a merchant just because he bought something from her, it was Rylan's crime, not hers. But in her mind, she pictured the fat, jovial man with kind eyes, who took her hands in his own as she explained her situation, who exchanged her blade for more coin than it must have been worth and promised to hold it for her, the man who let her sleep over at the back of his wagon as he smuggled her through the harsh, dangerous mountains from Free Marches and past the Nevarran border.

She couldn't help the tears that spilled down her cheeks.

Bull stayed there with her, and for that, she was grateful. Both for the comforting hand on her shoulder and the time he gave her to pull herself together.

Once she felt calm enough, Rush dried her eyes and stood back up.

It was not all bad. Despite the high cost, the hunt on her life was over. Too many mages ran away for templars for them to bother with specific apostates. Templars simply hunted  _any_  mage now, regardless of guilt or innocence.

She paused as another thought flashed through her mind. She bent down again and pried to front part of Rylan's armor away. And there it was. Small, ruby-red flask with the distinctive templar symbol etched into the glass, together with a name. Her name. The phylactery templars used to track her.

So he did have it after all. She wondered about it, when she fought several groups of templars, careful not to kill any of them, and then the attacks suddenly stopped. Rylan must have taken the phylactery for himself… and then was either too lazy, too distracted or simply too incompetent to actually track her. Making it all but impossible for any  _other_  templar to track her either. She snorted in contempt, then she threw the bottle with all her strength against a nearby rock. It shattered and spilled the blood over the rock and onto the grass.

She was free.

She didn't have much time to enjoy her freedom though, as Krem walked out of what remained of the hut with a book stuffed with papers.

"Chief, we have a problem."

"What is it, Krem?" Bull asked, stood up as well and went to join his lieutenant.

"Looks like the templars were killed by some cultists." He handed Bull the papers. "They call themselves the Venatori and seem to be some kind of Tevinter supremacists."

"What the hell are fucking 'Vints doing here of all places?" Bull growled as he checked the documents.

Rush walked over as well and took the thick book from Krem's hands. It looked old. She frowned down at it. "Where did you find this?" It seemed unlikely that any mage would loose a manuscript like this, much less abandon it in a burning building.

"Under a burnt corpse, actually," Krem grinned weakly. "They must have thought it was destroyed. Better question is how the hell did it not burn too?"

Bull lifted his head as well and looked at the book in Rush's hands.

She skimmed her fingers down the cover and saw the faint blue sheen that covered it. "Wards." She frowned and looked closer. "These wards were… sewn into the cover? Amazing. This must be ancient Tevene magic. It may even date back to the time of Arlathan. Mages today just take a book, slap a spell on it and hope for the best. This is old. Really, really old."

"Great. More magic." Bull was clearly uncomfortable. "Can you read that?"

"Hmm," Rush looked down at the book in her hands and opened it. "This language hasn't been used in centuries. So no, I can't read it." At their disappointed looks, she added, "But I can recognize some of these symbols. And the diagrams. It depicts some kind of lock, and keys. The big sun here signifies 'illumination', which can be either knowledge… or literally light. Maybe both. If I combine that with this diagram… Hmmm…" She turned over several of the pages, and tried to make sense of it. "It describes a locked place. One that can only be unlocked through specific keys - combination of knowledge and some literal 'keys', which will light up under certain circumstances."

"What does that mean?" Stitches asked curiously. He seemed to be the only one who didn't seem to be too wary about magic. But then, he was also the only one who never had regular contact with mages aside from talking to Dalish. She found she couldn't really blame the men for their wariness. After all, she was wary too and she was a mage herself.

"That you need to find something, a shining object that contains the correct knowledge. You can use it to scout for the keys. So these Venatori look for a magical object that contains ancient knowledge to… Fuck."

Both Krem and Bull tensed up.

Rush raised horrified eyes towards her team. "The only place where you can find the right knowledge of ancient Tevinter or Arlathan today is the Fade and demons. Pride demons or corrupted Wisdom spirits, to be specific. And Tranquils… they have no emotions, no magic, the Fade considers them  _things_ , not  _people_." She wanted to throw up. "They want to force a Pride Demon into the Tranquil."

Krem looked just as horrified as her. "They can  _do_  that?"

Rush nodded. "Tranquil don't have the will to say no. Possessing them would be no different than possessing a tree. The Venatori would use them as an object and summon a demon right into them, as if they were a scroll." She shut the book. "Do we know where they went?"

"There's a map," Krem pulled out a small sheet of parchment with a drawing of a hut. "Anyone knows where that is?"

"I might." Stitches answered. At their surprised looks, he lifted an eyebrow, "I lived here, before the Blight. During the Blight too, in fact. Give it here. Hmm… Looks like the old Hunter's Rest hut. It's just outside Redcliffe."

"Good. We know where to go, now." Bull clutched his axe tight and threw it over his shoulder. "Let's go. I'd love to kill some Vints. Especially  _before_  they summon demons."

Krem agreed quietly, "You and me both, Chief."

Rush put the book in her bag and followed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: For anyone interested, I have a Tumblr account. If you want to chat with me about any Dragon Age headcanons you have, just leave me a message. To use the slightly overused meme – misto shouts: "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR DRAGON AGE HEADCANONS!" :D
> 
> You can find me as misto713 at tumblr: misto713.tumblr.com


	19. Chapter 19

"Is that it?" Krem whispered as the hut came into view.

It was a small, dilapidated thing. It looked no different than the other buildings around, though seemed even less livable than the rest.

"Yes." Stitches whispered back. "And it looks like the mages are inside, too."

There was a small but noticeable green glow coming out from under the door and through the boarded up windows.

"What's the plan?" Rush asked just as quietly from beside them.

Bull frowned at the door. Too bad they didn't take Skinner, too, she might have gotten close without alerting the bastards inside. Too late for regrets now, though. At least the windows were barred, so the Vints might not see them coming. He narrowed his eye. Was it just him or did the glow get stronger?

"I'll break open the door and distract them. Krem, you go in right behind me and do as much damage as you can. Rush, get the tranquil out so she doesn't get killed in the crossfire. Stitches, cover us. All of you, kill them all, as fast as you can." Wouldn't do to give them time to summon a demon, but he didn't want to mention that to the men.

At their nods, he readied his axe and moved towards the front door, Krem right behind him. He felt Rush cover them all with a barrier and gave her a small smile. Then he smashed the door open and roared.

The five Vints inside jumped in shock and looked towards the door, away from the girl splayed on the table, who only stared with them with her dead-but-alive, disinterested eyes.

He was amused by their looks of horrified shock when he buried his axe in the spine of the closest Vint. Two of them were panicking, but the other two got their bearings together fast and raised their hands, spells ready. That's when Bull took a step to the side… and let Krem barrel into them. An arrow flew past and buried itself in the shoulder of the closest Vint, courtesy of Stitches.

Rush ran in and grabbed the Tranquil by the arm, pulling her off the table and started to drag her out of the hut.

Bull grinned and raised his axe. Or better said, tried. The axe banged into a wall. Bull tried to raise it for a blow and it got stuck in the wooden ceiling. He mentally cursed the stupid human architecture as he ripped it free. Krem seemed to have just as much trouble getting in good hits.

One of the Vints grinned and threw lightning at them. Thankfully Rush's barrier warded off the brunt of that hit, even if it broke under the strain. Rush cursed and cast a new barrier over herself and the Tranquil before it could hit them. The Vint seemed briefly surprised to see Rush use magic, but then she readied to cast another spell.

"Get her out!" Bull shouted. He gave up on using his axe and punched the Vint closest to him. He flew into the wall and a sickening crunch was heard as his neck snapped.

Rush used… something, Bull had no idea what. The air turned pale blue and both she and the Tranquil were gone from the hut.

 _Good_ , he thought and took a quick look around. Three Vints dead, the female one engaged Krem and the last one…  _'Where the fuck is the last one?'_ he only had time to think that before he felt sharp, searing pain in his uncovered side.  _Damn that_ …  _ **bastard**_! He turned halfway towards the last Vint, used his remaining strength to grab the man by the throat and squeezed. The Vint rasped and tried to grasp his hand, but Bull only clutched tighter, then threw him on the ground and crushed the man's windpipe under his boot.

' _Figures, that it would be the only non-mage that would get the drop on me. And then poison me, too'_ , he thought woozily. He had no idea what the cultist used, but it was working fast. Dizzy, he heard Rush bellow a fierce cry and turned towards her. More enemies were coming; the Vint's bodyguards and paid mercs, no doubt.

He tried to turn towards her, to help her, but swayed on spot.

Krem caught him before he could fall, then gently lowered him on the ground. He raised his face to look into Stitches' worried eyes as he poured some foul tasting concoction down his throat, then pulled out some bandages and went to work on the wound. Bull swallowed, then tried to stand up.

"Easy, Chief, let the potion work," Krem admonished gently and pushed him back down.

"Rush…" he turned his face towards the sound of fighting.

"… has everything under control. Stay here, Boss." Krem finished for him.

Bull took a moment to listen, actually listen to the combat. What was that strange sound? Like metal struck by lightning, but… different. Seeing that he won't try to join the fight, Krem helped him up and Bull made his way towards the door.

Shiny.

That was the first thing Bull noticed about the thing Rush held in her hand. A blade, made out of pure light, zipping across the air as it cut down her enemies, leaving nothing behind but torn bodies and streaks of red flying through the air. Each strike recharged her barrier that now glowed bright around her body. A grand light-show of grace and death.

He couldn't help but grin.  _That's hot_.

He rested his massive bulk against the wooden frame of the door. The tranquil stood just on the other side of the door, whimpering and trembling. He frowned over at the girl. Wasn't she supposed to be… well, Tranquil?

The last enemy fell and he saw her take a wild look around. Then she snarled and put two fingers against her forehead. There was a sound as if misplaced air rushed back where it was supposed to be, then a massive force of energy blasted away all the bodies around her… and hit another stalker who appeared just behind her. She turned and in one swift move, cut of his head.

Then she fell on one knee, panting.

"Bull?" she turned her face towards him, exhausted. She saw him stand by the door and a relieved smile spread on her face. It quickly vanished, though, when she saw him waver once he tried to go to her. She got back up on her feet, shaking, and went to join him.

"Everything all right?" She asked him, concern written all over her face.

He growled back at her playfully, "That's my question, miss magey-knight. What happened to not using the blade to fight with? Or keeping your secrets from people who really shouldn't know?" His eye briefly skipped towards the shivering Tranquil.

She blushed. "I… err… hmm." She looked down, and muttered, "I saw you get hurt. I… kind of lost it there. A bit."

Bull only shook his head, exasperated, but couldn't stop the fond smile that spread on his face. "I'm a merc, Rush. Injuries are part of the job, you know. Besides, Qunari are more resistant to stab wounds and poison than…"

"You were poisoned, too?!" she interrupted him, shocked. Then she glared back at the bodies behind her, as if she seriously considered raising them just to kill them again.

Bull chuckled. "Stitches dealt with that already. Worry about your own skin for once."

She nodded with a sigh and turned towards the tranquil, who by now picked herself off the ground and gave them all an uncertain look, hugging herself protectively.

"Huh." Rush frowned at the girl. "Are you… Helisma?"

"Y…yes. Helisma Derington, at your service." The mage trembled even harder and avoided their eyes.

"But… aren't you supposed to be… Tranquil?"

So Rush noticed it, too. Here Bull thought the rumors of the Tranquil's emotionless state were just that, rumors, and that the people had more emotions than others gave them credit for. What was going on here?

The mage shook harder, "I… I am. I was. I don't know what's happening." Tears filled her eyes.

Rush moved as if to go towards her, but Bull's hand on her arm stopped her.

"The Venatori tried to force a demon into her. How do we know where the emotions  _really_  come from?" He spoke calmly, but readied for an attack. Fucking demons. Looked like they were too late.

The mage… or the thing in the mage's body trembled harder and its eyes skipped all over the place, looking for the quickest way to run, no doubt.

Rush hesitated, then threw a quick look into the hut. She shook her head. "I've studied bindings before. The summoning circle isn't finished, and they didn't even start to draw the binding one. We interrupted them early in the process - she can't be possessed."

She moved towards the girl again and this time, Bull let her. He decided to trust her in this. She knew more about these things than him anyway.

Rush laid her hands on the tranquil's shoulders and asked in a soothing voice, "Are you all right? Can you tell me what happened?"

"W…what would you like to know?"

"Everything. Start at the beginning."

The girl took a deep breath and nodded, "I… was told to follow the templars. Disobeying would only get one killed, so I did as they asked. They… they brought me to some house in the hills, telling me I'll be… bait for the apostates. That they'll pretend to be friendly, draw the mages out,… then Silence them and kill them when they won't expect it. I… agreed," she looked away, ashamed. "Disobedience only gets you punished, so it was logical not to disobey."

Rush closed her eyes and released a breath. Then she nodded for the girl to continue.

"The mages weren't apostates, but Tevinter magisters. I don't know if they were fooled, but I think they would have killed the tempalrs anyway. A fight broke out, and the Tevinters brought in some bound demons before the Templars Silenced them. They… the templars died quickly after that. Once the tempalrs were dead, the magisters talked about how they'll bring me close to Redcliffe to 'put me in with the rest'. I knew I couldn't fight them, so it was logical to follow. Fighting only gets one killed." The mage blinked slowly, breath evening out. "They laid me on the table, started the summoning ritual… and that's when you came in."

Rush fixed her with an intent stare, "And when did your  _non-Tranquility_  start?"

The mage looked Rush right in the eyes as she said, voice much calmer now, "The moment you pulled me out of there."

Rush frowned. "But the only thing I did was pull you along when I… Fade… Stepped." Her eyes widened. The tranquil cocked her head curiously, as her breathing slowly evened out. "Of course! The Tranquil's connection to the Fade is severed.  _That's_  what causes the emotionless state and the inability to cast magic! Connect them to the Fade again and they regain their emotions. So Tranquility  _can_  be disrupted and the effects are  _not_  permanent after all. All it took was a bit of experimenting!" She laughed breathlessly, "Looks like we, heh,  _stepped onto the cure_  for Tranquility, right?"

The Tranquil gave a small smile, barely a twitch of her lips. Then her face slowly smoothed and she spoke in a dead, disinterested voice, "That is a viable theory. It might be advantageous to research it in detail. Once the Mage Rebellion settles, I will make certain to bring a report to the surviving members of the mage community and its leaders, Knight-Enchanter."

Rush stared at the woman. Then her eyes closed in pain. "Oh."

"What's wrong?" Stitches took a couple steps closer to them, then paused, uncertain.

"It's… It is a temporary effect. Looks like it fades fast, too." She bowed her head sadly. "How long was it? Five, ten minutes at most?" She sighed. Then her face settled in a determined expression, "But it's a start. I know more than before, now. Also, ten minutes of life are better than no life at all. Who knows? I might be able to find a more permanent solution later. Hard work never scared me before."

Bull gave her a moment to settle, then grumbled. "We finished here, then? Good." All this magic was making him… itchy. This was not at all like when Rush came to him with the horn balm and massage oil. This involved demons, and freaking Vints. He couldn't wait to get back to normal again.

"Yes." Rush nodded to him, and his men did too.

He exchanged a look with Krem, who went back into the hut to collect anything interesting or valuable off the Vints, and Stitches followed to try and find out what poison was used on him.

Bull took a couple steps toward Rush and the tranquil, Helisma, and faltered, still weak from the poison.

Rush ran up to him to help hold him up. She cast him a worried look, "You sure you're alright, Bull?"

He grabbed his injured side with a wince, "Fine. Just need to lay down and sleep it off. The sooner the better."

Stitches walked out of the hut to and joined in, "It would be good to have another healer check you too, Chief." He pulled out a mostly empty flask of some thick, foul-smelling liquid. "I don't know this one. The antidote I gave you was a general healing potion that  _should_  help, but… it might be a good idea to check in with a herbalist, too."

"Agreed," Bull said and leaned just a bit more heavily against Rush's side. He still felt very tired, and knew she could handle his weight.

"Let's try to get into Redcliffe, then. There must be a healer in there." Krem added as he joined them outside, packs in hand.

"Sounds like a plan," he agreed and tried to stand up on his own.

Rush wouldn't let him. "Don't exhaust yourself, you're injured already," she admonished gently and put one of his arms over her small shoulders. He felt power flow through her body as she suddenly became harder,  _sturdier_ , and it actually felt as if she was able to carry him. ' _Stronger than she looks, oh yeah'_ , he thought with a smile.

Rush turned towards their now silent companion and gestured for the Tranquil the follow them. Helisma did, without a sound of complaint or a question. Downright creepy, especially compared to how…  _alive_  she looked only moments before. He finally understood why Rush wanted so much to help these Tranquil.

This was just wrong.

Then he put the matter out of his head, and concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other. It will be a long way to Redcliffe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So, Grote da Guru, you once asked me if Bull will defend Rush from templars. Well, err… Oops? :D I like the 'save your loved one from attackers' thing too, but Rush isn't really a damsel in distress. Neither is Bull, but… Hmm. This is how it turned out. ;)
> 
> About the cure: It always bothered me that Anders killed Karl right after he found out that Tranquility can be disrupted. I mean - why not take him with you (phylactery related problems aside) and try again? And again and again until you figure out something different, more permanent. But no, instead everyone just… gave up :/ I think that with enough repetitions, you could wear the brand down. Get the Tranquil back, return their emotions to them. You just have to try and not be discouraged by the amount of work it would require.
> 
> At least, that's my theory. You can tell me your own take on my 'cure' in the comments/reviews.
> 
> And please, never ever so much as mention that sticking a foreign consciousness like a spirit or a demon into your brain would be a good idea… (Seriously, Bioware? Seriously?)
> 
> Also, in next chapter or two, I will have to raise the fic rating - M for FFN and Explicit for AO3. Just a heads up ;)
> 
> Reviews much appreciated :)


	20. Chapter 20

Rush threw a worried look up at Bull. He was still too pale, and growing paler by the minute. The fact that she was able to recognize him being  _pale_  despite his grey skin said a lot. Even more worrying was the growing weakness of the arm she supported and his sluggish pace.

But at least his wound stopped bleeding.

They passed the gates of Redcliffe, Krem leading them while Stitches and Helisma followed quietly behind. Rush watched as Krem asked the closest bystander where to find the healer. They garnered some attention, but it seemed it was more because of Helisma in her mage robes than Bull, despite his race and injury. It almost seemed as if Bull being injured put people more at ease, as if they expected to see Qunari hurt more than to be happy and safe.

"…just up that path, thought I don't know how much help she'll be." The villager said, throwing curious looks in Bull and Helisma's direction, "She deals with sicknesses and the like. I doubt the knife-ear knows much of poisons. Be a bit scary if she did."

She scowled at the insult, but kept her opinions to herself. Living as long as she did at the Circle, where Templars thought that a mage was a mage, no matter what race they were, it always shocked her a bit to hear the old insult against elves. If mages quarreled, it was because of their politics and difference in opinion rather than race. Aside from a couple privileged children of nobles, mages considered themselves equal. Equal in misery, at least.

Krem ended the discussion quickly after that, obviously not pleased to hear the insult either. Their eyes met and Rush gently steered Bull towards the path up the hill. Good thing she was a knight-enchanter, or they might not have managed to haul Bull up so fast. Or even get him to Redcliffe.

He didn't seem to be entirely there anymore, and Rush now had to carry most of his weight.

"Don't forget to ask her to lower the prices!" The 'Idiot', as Rush named him in her mind, shouted after them, "The rabbit always overcharges everything!"

Rush scowled harder, but didn't turn. Her blood was boiling, though. 'One more insult, and someone will pay,' she promised herself.

The healer's house was nothing more than a wooden shack, compared to all the other sturdier looking houses in the vicinity. It was also inconveniently placed almost at the outskirts of Redcliffe, but not immediately accessible from the road. Being prejudiced was one thing, Rush thought, but this was taking it to the extreme - what if there was an emergency and the patient couldn't be moved? But then, they'd probably ask the healer to come to them, not the other way around, and probably blame her for the deaths too, if she arrived too late. No common sense in these people at all.

"You can't ask eight sovereigns for a simple tonic! That's absurd!" The man inside sneered and turned his nose up at the slim elven woman. Both checked Rush and her party over once she stepped, but then turned to continue with their discussion.

Rush gritted her teeth and dragged the half-unconscious Bull to the closest chair. Krem and the rest of their party decided not to come inside and simply hovered by the door. The hut was full enough as it was.

"May I remind you that the standard price at the merchant is twelve gold per tonic?" The small woman drew herself up, but it didn't help her much. She was still a good head smaller than her customer.

"Maybe it is for you, but us  _decent folk_  deserve better prices than that!" He continued in a condescending tone.

Rush glared, and went to stand right next to them. This idiocy was taking way too long. If Bull suffered further because some idiot wanted to be cheap about his own medicine…

"Well, then, the  _decent_  folk can get their tonic at the merchant's for  _decent_  prices and don't need to bother me," the healer refused to budge.

"Listen here, knife-ear…" Idiot no.2 began menacingly and took a step towards the elf.

Rush growled. "Enough!" She grabbed the man by his collar and dragged him to the door. Krem and the rest of them wisely stepped aside. "Come back when you're ready to pay for what you ordered. Until then, stop wasting my time!" With that, she pushed a bit more power into her arm, back and hips and literally threw him out. The Idiot flew a couple feet, and landed on his ass. Hard.

Bull chuckled weakly from his chair.

Rush nodded to Stitches who stepped over the sprawled villager to join her, then she turned back towards the healer, "Check our Chief, please. He's been poisoned."

At her words, Stitches pulled out the little flask of poison he took from the dead stalker.

The moment the healer saw the flask, she gasped and her hand flew to her mouth. She stared at it, then at Bull and back at the flask, as if she couldn't believe her eyes.

"What is it? What's wrong?" Rush asked intently, now even more worried than before.

"I… That poison is called Quiet Death. One of the most toxic and deadly poisons there are. I… haven't seen it used in  _years_." Her wide eyes stared at Bull as if she couldn't believe he was still alive.

Stitches asked before she could, "We gave him a healing potion. Will that help?"

The elf only shook her head. "No. It might buy him some time, but it won't stop the effects."

Rush swallowed. "Can you make the antidote?" ' _Maker, please, let her say…'_

"I'm sorry, but I can't," the healer replied with a sad shake of her head. Rush felt the floor fall from under her. The room spun. She took a shuddering breath and concentrated with great effort when she heard the woman continue, "It would require several rare plants, which I don't have at the moment. I miss at least two Crystal Graces and Royal Elfroot to be able to brew it and…"

Rush's eyes sharpened and she interrupted, "But you  _can_  brew it?" At the healer's nod, she took off her satchel and gently laid the precious supplies down at the table. "Take whatever you need."

The healer's eyebrows climbed up, but she walked over to the table to check her supplies. She looked inside the satchel and smiled. "Yes. I can work with this. I will prepare the antidote."

Rush closed her eyes and sighed with relief.

The healer took one small vial off the wall and handed it to her, "Give this to your friend. It will slow down the poison's effects even more and give me time to prepare the correct treatment." She smiled. "On the house, if I can buy some of these herbs from you."

"Buy? Just keep them. So long as you help Bull, I don't care about the herbs." Rush said as she carefully took the small vial from her hands.

"Thank you, darling. Now go help your friend and let me work." The healer concentrated on the herbs she gently pulled from the satchel and Stitches stepped closer, no doubt to watch and learn how to prepare the antidote himself.

Rush nodded and went back to Bull. His tired eye opened and met her worried ones. She uncorked the vial and brought it to his lips. Bull smiled at her and drank when she poured it into his mouth.

A moment later, he took a deep breath and his eye went a little more focused. "Hey, Kadan?" he rasped.

Her eyes widened. Did he just call her…?  _Dear_ _ **Maker**_ _._ "Yes, Bull?" She asked in a whisper. Her voice trembled.

He grinned, "The way you threw that guy… That was hot."

That startled a laugh out of her. "Only you, Bull," she chuckled, leaned down and gently rested her forehead against his.

Her eyes closed. She concentrated on the way Bull breathed, in and out, deeply, and the clinking noise of the healer preparing the proper cure.

Everything will be alright. It must.

-rushing-ahead-rushing-ahead-rushing-ahead-

It was an accident that she discovered the book among the healer's things.

She simply couldn't sit down and started to look around and search for something, anything interesting to prevent herself from pacing. And so as the healer brewed, quietly explaining to Stitches the proper preparing method, Rush checked her walls and tables.

The book seemed innocent enough at first. Just another herbarium among so many others. Yet when she opened it, she discovered a well-written tome describing a spell.

She looked up with shock to stare at the slim elf's back, but it seemed the healer didn't see her, concentrated as she was on brewing the antidote. For a few seconds, she watched her work, before she decided against calling attention to herself. Instead, she exchanged a look with Bull as she silently showed him what she found, then sat down and started to read.

When she realized it was a description of a healing spell, Rush almost snorted. She  _did_  plan to buy one and learn to heal so she could help Bull. And now was the perfect time to start, too. With a smirk, she sat down on the ground next to Bull and started to read.

She lost herself in the familiar theories and instructions. This… wasn't so different from the things she had to learn as a knight-enchanter. It was still body-manipulation, but slightly different. Something she was not used to. Luckily, since it was so similar to her own style, it would not be so hard to learn as trying to learn a completely different style would be. It would simply require a bit more focus. She read through the book, determined to remember as much as she could.

An hour or so later, her focus was disturbed by a loud gasp. Rush looked up to see the elf watch her read. The elf held a single vial of a softly glowing liquid.

Rush closed the book and stood up. "The cure is ready, then?"

The healer only nodded.

"Great, let's give it to Bull, then." Rush took a step closer, but paused when she saw the elf tense up as if she wanted to back away. The precious vial in her hands trembled. She forcefully released the tension from her shoulders. Best not to spook her now. She said as soothingly as she could, "There's no need to worry. I simply wished to read the book."

The healer didn't seem comforted in the slightest. "And what will happen once you leave here? Who will you tell?"

Rush paused, uncertain. Bull will probably want to report this to the Ben-Hassrath. She might not agree with that, as the healer seemed like a good person who didn't deserve to be taken advantage of, but if he asked her… She looked at him. This was something he should handle as their Chief. The decision was his.

He raised his tired face to watch her, then he smiled at the healer. "So. There's a lot of not-mages around here."

That… wasn't really an answer. But Rush knew now how he wanted this to play out.

"I'm not a mage." The healer was quick to deny.

"Neither am I," Rush commented dryly and held up a hand. A hand that held a tiny blue flame flickering through her fingers and casting small shadows on the hut's walls.

The elf stared at it for a moment, then relaxed.

Crisis averted.

She stepped up to Bull and held the vial containing the cure to his lips. He drank it down obediently and shuddered. Color slowly returned to his face.

Rush held the book out to the healer, when she suddenly got an idea. "Actually, I'd like to buy it from you." She did plan to buy a Tome of Healing at the market, after all. She simply didn't have the time to do so yet. Who better to buy a healing tome from than a healer? One who knew about her powers already. It might actually be safer for her in the long run, to buy the book here rather than from an unknown merchant.

They exchanged a look with the healer, then the elf smiled, "Certainly. Not like I could cast the spells inside."

Rush played along, "Yes, well, neither can I. Our only hope is that one day, we will meet a mage who will be able to cast them." A coin bag quietly exchanged hands, as did the ownership of the completely useless book. Because… it's not like they could use it, right?

The healer chuckled. "Maybe one day. Now," she clasped her hands together, "I've done all I can here. Take your friend somewhere safe and make sure he rests for at least one day."

Rush nodded at the obvious dismissal and went to help Bull stand up. He looked half-asleep already.

She found the rest of their team waiting patiently outside. Krem looked them both over, then went to grab Bull's other arm. It was not really necessary, as Rush could carry him herself, but she supposed Krem needed the reassurance as well. More than her, probably, since he knew Bull a lot longer.

Also, better not to throw her 'unnatural strength' in the faces of these people. Someone might actually figure out her secrets.

Stitches quietly followed her out of the hut, took Helisma by the hand, then turned around and led the party down from the healer's hut.

Time to finally get some rest.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I know I promised to raise the rating, but when I actually had the chapter before me, I realized that adding the sex scene would make it too long. So, enjoy … this. Next chapter will definitely raise rating, though (if you know what I mean *wink* ).
> 
> Also, correct me if I'm wrong, but from what I know, the mages only really settled in Redcliffe after the Conclave exploded. So there wouldn't be many at the village yet… and no way for Rush to solve anything. Dealing with that will have to wait for the Inquisition… Or not. We shall see.


	21. Chapter 21

The Gull and Lantern tavern was actually kind of quiet. At least upstairs, where the rooms were situated.

At first, Rush was a bit worried that this place will be too loud and Bull won't be able to sleep properly, but it turned out it was mostly made out of stone and the only thing that could be heard were distant shouts and muffled murmurs of the loud discussions happening downstairs.

Rush sat on the bed beside her chief as he slept, determined to keep watch, in case of any complications. She already put down most of her armor, now sitting only in the tunic she wore under the armor and loose linen cloth pants.

Krem made himself useful while the healer brewed Bull's antidote and bought them all rooms for the night. He, Stitches and Helisma planned to stay in the room next door, while Rush was to keep Bull company as he recovered. Krem smirked a little as he told her of his plan for the night, but Rush only smiled in response. This suited her just fine.

She still needed to talk to Helisma, but that could wait. The tranquil would hardly get  _impatient_ , now, would she?

Her fingers skimmed down the cover of the Tome of Healing. Not the way she wanted to get it, but at least she had it. The spells inside didn't seem all that complicated, either. Not much different from all the body manipulations she did routinely as Knight-Enchanter. She looked at Bull's side and the bandaged knife wound. Should she try to…?

She shook her head. ' _No. Not until Bull wakes up, at least'_ , she decided. Qunari were skittish enough around magic as it was. After today, she wouldn't be too surprised if he rejected her healing altogether.

With a sigh, she laid a hand on his chest, caressed the slightly sweaty skin under her palm and allowed herself to think on what happened today. The terrifying ritual they interrupted. The frenzy of battle and her raging bloodlust when she realized Bull had been injured. The frantic way to Redcliffe when she realized that this time, Stitches' cure might not be enough.

Compared to all that, discovering a cure for Tranquility seemed much less important. Almost an afterthought. If it even was a cure and not just a temporary side-effect.

She heard Bull's breathing hitch.

His eye blinked open, then concentrated on her face with a terrifying intensity until he recognized her and relaxed.

He lifted one hand to put it under his head, then smirked at her. "So. Anything happen between us while I was out?"

She stared at him, not understanding what he meant. One amused eye travelled down to his chest and her hand that rested there. Still slowly caressing him.

Her first instinct was to pull her hand off him, but she was too frazzled from today's events to do it. Instead, she smiled and slowly dragged her hand down his chest to rest on his belly, then started caressing there.

His eye darkened.

"I was just waiting for you to wake up," she smiled. "Much more fun when you can enjoy it properly, right?"

He grinned dangerously and lifted a hand to gently touch her cheek. "Careful there, Rush. This small injury won't stop me from dragging you under me and taking what you offer."

She shivered pleasantly, but lost her smile. "That reminds me," her fingers skimmed over to rest at his injured side. "I… The book… It might…" She sighed. "Would you like me to heal that?"

Bull lost his smile as well and turned thoughtful. Then he sighed as well and relaxed against the soft mattress. "Go ahead."

She was a bit surprised. "Are you certain…?"

He smiled at her. "Yes. You need to learn how to heal. Besides, it's better to try here, when we're safe, rather than wait until it's life and death during our next battle." He chuckled with what she'd almost call self-criticism. "And I won't underestimate you. If you say you can do it, then you can do it."

Rush blushed, but smiled too, pleased at the compliment. This… to see him trust her… She swallowed. Then she turned her mind back to the task at hand and looked down at Bull's injury.

Stitches already bandaged it, but she could see blood seeping through the layers of cloth. Poisoned wounds never healed well, and this one was caused by a very powerful poison. She decided to unwrap the bandages first. It might not be necessary for magical healing, but since this was the first time she tried the spell, seeing what she did might help her concentrate.

She pulled the bandages away as gently as she could, watching Bull for any sign of discomfort. He remained stoic through it all; not a twitch betrayed any sign of pain, even if she was certain he felt some.

Once the wound was bare for her to see, she threw the bandages away and put a hand just above the cut. She took a deep breath and focused.

This was tricky. The spell might work on similar principles to what she was used to, but instead of using it inward, she had to push her power out. Nothing too complicated, but it did take more focus.

Her hand glowed blue.

Bull sucked in a quick breath, but when she looked up into his face, his expression wasn't pained. Rush couldn't quite read him, but he didn't seem displeased. She concentrated back on the wound.

Thankfully it wasn't too deep. She pushed a bit more power into Bull's body and watched the skin on his side knit itself closed. Much faster than she would have expected. Were Qunari more attuned to magic than humans? It would explain their fear of mages, then, as they would also be more susceptible to magic's corruption.

A couple seconds later, the only thing that remained of the wound was a thin white line, all but invisible on Bull's grey skin. She rested her palm on the place where the wound used to be and gently skimmed her fingers down the fresh scar.

She only had time to hear Bull growl, before his hands shot out and grabbed her by the waist. He pulled her close to his chest, then in one smooth move, she found herself lying under his muscular form, both his arms and legs trapping her against the bed.

A spike of pure heat passed through her gut. She grabbed his arms and held on. Her eyes met his in shock.

He pinned her with an intense stare. Then he leaned down and took a deep breath of the skin on her neck. He rasped, "You smell of  _power_ , Rush," and licked her neck.

She moaned and felt him grin into her skin, before he clamped his mouth down on the sensitive skin and sucked hard. The stubble on his cheeks burned and added to the delicious sensations coursing through her body.

"Bull," she rasped back, breathless.

He purred. Then he lifted his head to look at her. His expression turned serious. "Last chance to back out, if you're not certain."

Was he seriously asking her that, now? She felt oddly touched. "I'm certain. I want you," she answered with a smile.

He smiled back. It was not his usual devious grin, though. This one was… almost innocent. Gentle. Rush was briefly struck breathless by the sheer beauty of that expression, but she didn't have long to admire it. Bull moved.

One of his hands let go of her waist and rose up to gather her wrists in one strong fist. Then he pinned her completely against the bed and spread her legs to rest between them. Leaving her no escape. She stifled a moan.

He growled at her. "Let it out, Rush. Never suppress anything while you're with me. Let go, and enjoy your  _ride_." He grinned.

'Ride'? Rush narrowed her eyes. That almost made this all seem like a reward for a job well done, instead of the  _connection_  she sought.

Then she relaxed. No matter how he looked at it, what he told himself, he still cared about her. She knew that. She cared about him too and was certain he knew that as well. If his Qunari pride didn't let him admit it,… well, this was the time to show him just how serious they were.

She lifted her head and caught his lips in a gentle kiss. His eye briefly closed in pleasure before he looked down at her. ' _This isn't just physical,_ ' she told him without words. Bull stared at her for a second, then his eye gentled, his fingers caressed her cheek and he leaned down to kiss her properly.

Their second kiss was much gentler than the first one. Unhurried, slow paced, just the touch of their lips to let them enjoy the feeling. His lips caressed hers and Rush felt precious. She moaned and parted her lips to softly bite him. Bull grinned and suddenly, the feeling between them changed.

His tongue licked her parted lips, then pushed inside. It moved, slow but insistent, against her own.

The hand not holding her wrists grabbed her chin. She knew what to expect now and relaxed in his hold. He opened her mouth fully and took control of the kiss. At the feel of his much bigger tongue moving, so strong inside her, Rush felt another spike of heat pass through her.

This time, she felt ready to respond, too. The first hesitant response was met with an appreciative groan. She took it as encouragement and responded with passion.

She was losing herself in their kiss when she felt the hand on her chin move. His fingers skimmed down her throat. She felt her heart beat even harder under his touch, and Bull must have felt it too, as he groaned louder. Then he moved his hand lower to rest at the collar of her linen tunic. Rush felt him grin, then he hooked single finger under the collar. He pulled his tongue out of her mouth, and lifted himself up to look her in the eyes…

He ripped her tunic in half.

Rush gasped in surprised excitement and stared up at Bull. One though flashed through her mind, ironically in Bull's own voice. ' _That's hot._ '

Bull, it seemed, had similar thoughts running through his mind. Lying as she did half-naked under him, she almost felt the need to cover up under his piercing stare. Almost. Instead, she decided to let him look his fill. When he groaned lustfully, she felt powerful like never before. "Now these are damned fantastic, Rush," he praised in a low voice, staring at her breasts.

She opened her mouth to respond, but the only thing that came out was a choked whimper as Bull chose that moment to take her right nipple in his mouth. Her hands involuntarily twitched in his grasp, but Bull held fast. She couldn't move. That realization only made her passion burn brighter.

Bull licked and suckled on her nipple as if he never tasted anything better. When he used his teeth to nip at the underside of one breast, Rush keened and struggled in his grasp again. She couldn't stop the movement of her hips or arms. Bull didn't let go, instead he pressed his hips against her center. She threw her head back and added her throaty moan to the mix of sounds - his loud suckling and slurping.

He pressed his weight against her wrists and used his free hand to skim down to rest below her navel. The muscles at her abdomen contracted and her eyes almost rolled to the back to her head at the promise his touch held. He grinned around his mouthful, but didn't stop. The hand slipped inside her cloth pants. Fingers gently parted her folds and rested at her opening. Her moans grew embarrassingly loud, but Bull didn't mind. He moaned himself when he felt her wetness on his fingers.

Rush looked down from where she was pinned.

The sight that greeted her almost made her come on spot. Bull, one hand above her, holding her wrists tight, his giant, horned head all but glued to her breasts and the other inside her pants. She felt his finger move, firm but caring, against the sensitive place above her opening and was ready to sob with need. Then a single finger slipped inside and she keened.

Just before she could climb to her peak, he moved his fingers away.

"Please," she whispered brokenly.

Bull looked up at her and his eye met hers. He let go of her wrists and scooted down the bed to pull her pants open. Rush moved to help him, but at his warning growl, abandoned the idea and let him do what he wanted. Once his head was close enough to her again, she caressed his horns. That was met with another appreciative groan.

Once she was naked, Bull paused on his knees between her spread legs, looking her over, head to toe. Rush shivered in excitement, and looked at him properly too. He towered over her, his massive bulk almost intimidating. Heaving breaths and unreadable eye, scarred, muscular torso and a hand missing couple fingers… he was breathtaking.

She leaned forward and opened his belt. Fingers slipped into her hair to caress her and she smiled up at him; a smile which he gladly returned. She threw the belt aside and unlaced his pants too. She went to pull them off, and the fingers in her hair twitched. She threw a quick curious look up at Bull, but continued.

The moment his pants fell down, she stopped and  _stared_. She almost forgot just how damned  _big_  he was. Much bigger than anything,  _anyone_  she ever had before. ' _How the hell does he ever fit into any of the women he sleeps with'_ , she wondered silently. She looked up. Bull stared down at her, his face unreadable, the fingers in her hair still.

Was something wrong? Did he wait for something to happen? The blank look in his eyes… if it were anyone else, she'd say he looked uncertain. What did he expect her to do, scream in terror? Because that was the last thing she wanted to do. Sure, the size of him was intimidating, but there was no way she would back out n…

Oh.

She smiled and took his length into her hand. "So, I think after this, I might become a size queen," she grinned up at him and gave him a squeeze.

His deep laugh put her worries at ease. The horribly blank look left his eye and the fingers in her hair started moving again. He pulled her head back, then leaned in and Rush gasped just from watching his huge form loom over her. Bull kissed her one more time, gently. Then he… stepped away?

She watched as he climbed down from the bed and kicked his boots and pants away. She turned towards him, expecting him to get back to her. Instead, he grinned. Before she had a chance to wonder, he grabbed her legs under her knees and dragged her to the edge of the bed.

She gasped and her hands jumped to his arms. Half her ass now hung over the edge of the bed and it was only his hands that kept her legs up. She was completely open and at his mercy. Rush shivered in excitement.

Bull spread her legs spread even wider and set them around his hips.

She almost forgot how to breathe. The sight was too much for her to handle. Her eyes closed of their own accord.

Bull growled in response. "Look me in the eye, Rush, and don't look away." His voice was soft, but unyielding.

She obeyed and turned to stare up at him. Their eyes connected and held. Bull reached lower and set his tip against her. Rush held her breath. When he pressed inside, her brow scrunched in discomfort. It's been a while for her, and never had she had a partner of Bull's size. He groaned above her and slipped one hand lower to play with her. Sparks shot through her entire body and she moaned, never taking her eyes off Bull. Slowly, against all odds, her body relaxed and he pressed inside again.

This time, Rush made herself relax against the intrusion. Little by little, he penetrated deeper. When he was more than half-way inside, he paused and, still looking at her, grabbed her by the hips and slammed inside. Rush saw stars. She shouted and her nails dug into the skin at his arms.

"Yesss," Bull whispered above her, still watching her. His hands let go of her waist and moved to grab her by the arms.

Before she realized what was happening, Bull had her hands pinned against the bed again. She stared at him, a bit surprised. He simply grinned down at her, then moved.

Her eyes closed in pleasure again, and this time, Bull let her. The feeling of him, all around her, inside her, was overwhelming. If their kiss made her think ' _too much_ ', this was a hundred times worse. Or better. She couldn't decide.

Eyes closed, she became aware of the sounds. Deep panting growls, intersected with her own keening moans and the slick sounds of their bodies joining. It was  _indecent_. And, oh so wonderful. She took a deep breath and smelled Bull's exotic, spicy scent. Her head spun. She opened her eyes opened to see Bull was still watching her, watching every twitch she made. There was a frightening intensity in him; more than she thought herself capable of handling.

Then she saw the small twitch at the corner of his lips. As if he wanted to snarl, let go and pound her into the mattress, but didn't want to scare her. With shock she realized that he still controlled himself. If this is what sex with Bull was like while he controlled himself, what would it be like if he let go?

Later they'll have to try that, she promised herself, but for now, she wanted to make this just as good for him as it was for her.

The least she could do for him was accept him completely. To enjoy the ride, she thought with a mental smirk. She relaxed as much as she could physically and, still looking into his eye, sent a spark of magic to relax her muscles, then turned her hips up to let him slip even deeper inside her.

Bull's next thrust buried him inside her to the hilt. He groaned, his eye briefly closed, then he fixed her with another intense stare and picked up his pace. He was so deep inside her that she felt his balls slap against her backside with every close snap of his hips.

She angled herself again and gasped. He hit something inside her; something she never felt before.

He sent her a wicked grin and hit that spot again. And again. She squirmed in his hold to relieve some of that building pressure, but Bull wouldn't let her move an inch away from him. The pressure built inside her, stronger and stronger, until the only thing she could do was pant and moan under him, completely at his mercy.

When her peak came, it slammed into her hard. She screamed in pleasure, head thrown back, legs clutching Bull around the waist. She was grateful he held her down or she might have fallen off the bed with the force of her thrashing. Bull kept pounding into her through it all, making her descent last even longer. She felt tears spring into her eyes from the force of her pleasure.

At last, when her eyes cleared, she looked up to meet Bull's stare. He was snarling and his moves became even more erratic. He was close, she realized.

An idea entered her mind. Rush sent another spike of magic through her body, tightening around him. It made the pulsating, vibrating tremors, the after-effects of her orgasm, even stronger. When Bull felt the vibrations go through her, clutching him so tight, his own eye rolled into the back of his head and his hips lost their rhythm.

She felt him pulse inside her as he came. As the waves of his peak continued, Bull leaned over her and his teeth closed around her bare shoulder.

He bit down, hard.

The pain only heightened her pleasure and made her clutch him that much harder. Rush didn't even try to squirm in his desperate hold. She let him ride it out.

When it was over, Bull stayed where he was, panting harshly into her neck. She smiled and tried to lift her hands. They slipped from his now lax hold. She caressed his head, one hand gently scratching his horns. He groaned again and closed his arms around her.

"Damn, Rush, that was…" he paused, lifted his head with a bewildered look in his eye. Then he masked the expression and smiled down at her, "That was  _good_. We definitely have to do this again sometime."

She only caressed his head in response. ' _Silly man,_ ' she thought. She understood the silent question for what it was.  _Will you want me again, or did you just want to satisfy your curiosity?_  As if she'd want to leave him, to give this up, after what just happened between them. She played along, "Definitely. Anytime you want, Chief."

Somehow, calling him the Iron Bull would have felt wrong now. It was a name that was meant to make their enemies tremble in fear. She didn't sleep with 'The Iron Bull', she slept with…  _him_. Despite what she might have called him in the throes of passion, the name didn't fit him. Not completely.

'Chief' was the closest to a name she had for him. She wondered if he had a more fitting name, one she could use.

It didn't matter at the moment. Bull smiled down at her, then leaned in and gave her a slow, gentle kiss. The most innocent one they shared yet. Nothing more than a sweet peck of lips. It was… tender.

She closed her eyes with a soft sigh, and kissed him back.


	22. Chapter 22

Despite all Rush's protests, Bull was determined to walk down to the common room to have a celebratory drink with his team. It was routine. Their own private little system, and he liked his systems just fine, thank you very much.

As flattering as it was to have Rush try and take care of him, he was an adult, and capable of taking care of himself, he told himself firmly. Thankfully, she relented once he put his foot down; he was not so certain he'd be able to withstand her arguments, if she chose to say them. They were no doubt valid. But that still didn't stop him from making his way down to his men.

He watched her out of the corner of his eye, as she put her armor back on. Unsuccessfully trying to hide her ripped tunic. He grinned.

Thinking about it just made him think about the wild sex they had. He licked his lips, staring at her, and had to tell himself that the little ritual he had with his men was worth leaving the bed for. But it was a close thing. That thing back there… He shivered when he thought about it. A woman, a pretty little human woman who was able to take all of him and keep up with him, even when he let his control slip. Damn, but that was…

Initially, he planned it to be a thank you, a gift for all the help she gave him, to celebrate the successful completion of their mission. But it quickly turned into more. He really should have expected that by now, he thought as his lips curved in a self-deprecating smile. He walked over to help her with her armor.

Once they finally made their way down, after a good long session of groping while they pretended they were getting dressed, Bull scanned the tavern and aimed for the table farthest from the door that still had good view of all the possible entrances. Krem was already there, and Bull was once again grateful for having the man around. He just knew Bull so well.

Krem took one look at them and rolled his eyes. "What, had your own 'little death' up there?"

Bull grinned at him and didn't even pause as he took the chair with the best view, "Yeah, and we were pretty  _quiet_  about that 'death', too." Stitches only chuckled at their antics.

Krem snorted into his wine. "Great. I hope you had a good time."

Rush smirked and pulled a chair over to sit down between Bull and Stitches. "The best."

Krem only lifted an eyebrow and took another gulp, but didn't comment. Bull was glad she wasn't trying to hide it… and wasn't ashamed for having sex with him. Many people were. But then, he didn't really expect his Rush to do that.

Bull smiled and called the serving girl over to get his own drink.

The serving girl's eyes widened when she spotted him. She looked him over in a very familiar way. First the horns, then chest, biceps,… Very, very familiar, especially since her eyes skipped to the bartender, probably to check if he was looking in her direction, then she  _strutted_  up to him. "Can I get you anything, honey?"

Hmm, he wondered what Rush's reaction will be. He only hoped it wasn't jealousy. There might come a time when he needed to use his  _other_  skills to get information, which would be a bit complicated if she reacted the way humans usually did.

He looked at her out of the corner of his eye… and found her watching him, with a calm yet expectant look.

' _Heh, testing her is kind of hard when she's testing me right back'_ , he thought with a mental grin and turned his attention back to the serving girl. "Just an ale. Thanks," he ordered with his best charming smile.

The serving girl pouted, but took his order and then left once Rush added her own.

Rush slipped a hand under the table and squeezed his thigh. Bull had no idea if that was a reward or a thank you, and at his current mood, wasn't even about to analyze it. He only chuckled, threw his arm over her small human shoulders and pulled her over to him to place a biting kiss behind her ear. She squealed and held on tight, but didn't try to fight him off. Didn't even look around in shame or embarrassment. Instead, she snuggled closer and turned her head to give him better access.

Bull smiled into her hair. A human who was not ashamed for having sex with him. That was a new one. The serving girls were usually happy to pretend nothing happened. The nobles wouldn't even greet him if they passed him on the street. This was… really nice.

Rush squirmed, "Your beard prickles."

He paused and pulled away a bit, "Should I shave it?"

She smiled with a sidelong glance at him, "Now, I didn't say  _that_."

He smiled back and pulled her into his lap properly. If they were doing… this, whatever it was, they better do it right.

Krem rolled his eyes at them. "Will we have to suffer public displays of affection from now on?" he mock griped with a teasing smile.

"No need to get jealous, Krem de la Creme. If you wanted to join in, you could have just asked." He growled back playfully.

"You still can. I don't mind if Chief cuddles us both, Kremlicious," Rush grinned at him.

Krem paused with his bottle half-way to his mouth. Stitches lifted his head from the beer. Even Helisma turned her face towards her and they. All.  _Stared_.

Rush lifted an eyebrow, "What?"

Then Bull and Stitches started laughing and Rush joined them when Krem moaned, "Oh, Maker. There's two of them now."

Rush snuggled closer to Bull with a content smile. He looked down at the small human in his arms. ' _Interesting_ ', he thought. His Rush was really a fascinating human. Every time he thought that  _this time_ , she will surely act like the others of her race and religion, she surprised him, again and again. He leaned in once more and took a deep breath, his nose stuck in her hair.

"Now, now, don't traumatize the Tranquil," Stitches commented and cast the sidelong glance at the extra member of their party.

"You cannot traumatize a tranquil," Helisma replied in her usual flat voice and Krem snorted into his drink.

Bull looked at the mage, or ex-mage as the case might be. While usually he would have found the flatness of her tone almost amusing, now he only felt sadness. To see her  _alive_ , and then watch the fire slowly go out of her eyes… He shuddered.

Rush returned back to her seat and watched the Tranquil as well. She looked almost curious. "Are you all right, Helisma?"

"I am… well. Thank you." Helisma answered politely, but Bull paused and took another close look at her. Was that a hint of hesitation he detected?

"Hmm." Rush stared at her intently. Looked like she noticed it too. "You seem a bit… spirited for a tranquil. I believe there may be some after-effects of…" she looked around the full tavern, "the cure. If we… applied it again, and perhaps applied it regularly over a long period of time, the cure might be permanent. What do you think?"

Bull approved of her discretion, even if he didn't agree with her approach. She was sometimes a bit too nice for her own good. If she wanted to know whether the girl, Helisma, still had some life left in her, it was better to poke her a bit. Get a rise out of her. "Think? The tranquil don't think, isn't that the point of them being tranquil?"

The tranquil turned to him. "Do not mistake our lack of emotion for lack of intelligence." Helisma stated, but there was no insult or defiance in her eyes. There was  _nothing_  in her eyes. "Tranquil are capable of understanding, we simply care not to contradict. Protesting only leads to more pain."

Oh. Well.  _That_  didn't work.

Only now did he realize that the other mages and the templars would probably abuse these people, since they couldn't really fight back. Insults and attacks would be ignored thanks to skills honed through years of practice. Instead of drawing her out, it might actually push her back. Damn. He should have thought of  _that_  sooner. Some Ben Hassrath he was.

"Why do you even live, then?" Bull asked her quietly. He didn't know whether to be sad and enraged. Say what you want about the Qun, at least his people didn't turn the Saarebas into unfeeling freaks.

"Living is comfortable, and predictable, if one adheres to a certain schedule. The mage rebellion disrupted our lives considerably, but it is not unbearable."

Bull stared at her for a couple seconds, then shuddered and looked away. Krem and Stitches quietly did the same.

Rush seemed to be the only one to still willing pursue the original topic. "Are you willing to test the cure again, Helisma?"

"It was not a pleasant experience." Her voice was completely uninterested, as if she wasn't talking about a recent trauma.

"Well, it might have something to do with the fact you were almost murdered. People usually consider that to be a very  _unpleasant_  experience." Rush argued calmly.

The tranquil cocked her head in a manner that would suggest curiosity, if not for the dead look in her eyes.

"Look, it might be different if you get your emotions back while you're already in a calm, safe environment." She hesitated, unsure what arguments she could possibly make to persuade a Tranquil. She definitely didn't want to force the poor woman into something she didn't agree to do.

Bull could almost see the arguments right as she formed and discarded them in her mind. What could Rush use? That Helisma will be the first to be cured? That appeals to pride she doesn't have. Possibility of a normal life with emotions? Appeals to hope she doesn't have. Also, she didn't seem  _unhappy_  with her life right now. Only empty. Same went for arguments about family, friends, happiness, and anything that would persuade a normal person. Even Bull with all his skills of a Ben Hassrath didn't know what to use.

Rush narrowed her eyes. "As an experimental subject, you'd be considered too valuable to harm. Even those who don't want Tranquility to be cured wouldn't touch you, since they don't want the mages to come and kill them for it. The templars and other mages would leave you alone."

Helisma stayed silent for a moment, then she calmly nodded. "I find that argument logical. Very well, it is acceptable to test the cure on me."

Rush sighed in relief. "Good. We shall try it later then."

Helisma only nodded and that was it.

Bull clasped his hands together to shake off the gloomy mood they all fell into once the tranquil started speaking. "Great. Now that that's done, let's celebrate." He grinned at his men who were only too happy to return his smiles. Then he got an evil idea. "Since we have a guest here, it's only fair that we share." He took a gulp of his own drink, then slammed the half-empty tankard down in front of Helisma. She stared up at him with an almost surprised look,. He leaned in closer over the table separating them and grinned at her conspiratorially. "Come on, mage girl, drink up."

"Tranquil don't need to drink alcohol. We do not have any strange reactions others find amusing," she blinked at him slowly.

"Suuuure, but that doesn't mean they  _can't_  drink." Seeing that she wasn't moved, he added with a smirk, "Drinking feels really nice. Have you tried it?"

Helisma blinked again, then reached for the tankard. Bull's grin widened. She took a long drink, set the tankard down… and coughed. A dainty, girlish cough without any emotions, as if she were half-asleep, but still a cough.

Bull laughed and slapped his hand down on the table "Another!" The serving girl and bartender were only too happy to comply.

And so it went.

Bull was happy to drink… and trying to get the tranquil girl drunk as well. Once the rest of the tavern realized what was happening, several of them came over to watch, cheer… and bet on them.

Slowly, his men who joined round two excused themselves and stopped trying to match them drink for drink; even Rush eventually gave up, and simply sat there with a smile, watching their little game. All the while, Bull tried his hardest to out-drink the tranquil.

"Ox-man! Ox-man! Ox-man!" chanted the first half of the tavern patrons.

Bull was too drunk and too happy to care about the insult to his race, even though he noticed Rush watched who exactly shouted that. He wondered if she had anything planned for them. If her plans included something like what she did to the little idiot for the 'knife-ear' slur, Bull wanted to be there when she put her plan in action.

"Tran-quil! Tran-quil! Tran-quil!" chanter the other half.

Helisma looked almost overwhelmed. But she kept drinking obediently and watched Bull as he finished his own drinks.

' _Surprisingly tough, that one'_ , Bull thought. But so far, she accepted the challenge and kept drinking with what almost could be considered a spark of defiance. Or it might have been the drink talking.

Countless rounds later, Bull slammed his tankard down and waited for the tranquil to finish hers. She did, set the tankard sedately down on the table… and her head fell down on the table, unconscious.

Bull roared with approval. "Anaan!"

There were both cheers and groans of disappointment as money changed hands between the inn patrons. Several of the patrons clapped him on the shoulder, as if they hadn't shouted insults at him just moments before.

Bull simply grinned back at them, mostly drunk himself now, and let the  _bas_  do what they wanted. Who knew? Maybe he impressed them enough that they will have some jobs for his men come tomorrow. Wouldn't be the first time he impressed humans with drinking habits that would get him demoted or outright re-educated under the Qun.

The impromptu mini-party slowly died as the gawkers left. His men finished their drinks too.

Bull tried to stand up and staggered. Damn, but that tranquil was tough. If she wasn't so damn creepy with those emotionless fish eyes, he might have admired her. He watched his men lift the tranquil and carry her up into their room, while he tried to find his balance. That's when he felt Rush slip one of his arms over her shoulders and support him.

He smiled down at his girl and leaned closer to nibble on her ear.

She chuckled, "Let's get you up to our room, Chief."

"Already?" Bull grinned at her. "Don't  _rush_  me, woman."

She chuckled and rolled her eyes. "Let's just go."

"Just go? What if I want a repeat, from, you know, earlier?" He leered down at her drunkenly.

She threw him a mischievous smirk. "After this many drinks? We can certainly discuss it."

He laughed, "Oh, we will definitely do more than  _discuss_  this, you minx."

Instead of answering, he felt her other hand, the one not supporting him, slip around his waist… and 'accidentally' brush against his ass.

Bull leaned in again and whispered into her ear, "Rushing ahead, hmm? Challenge accepted."

He saw her smirk in response, but her eyes were hooded. Daaamn, looked like he found a girl who didn't mind him and his 'special ways' when he was drunk. One who wanted him even after she saw him at his weakest. He felt his eye go misty, no doubt from the stupid booze and the tavern fire's smoke and swallowed to clear his suddenly clogged throat.

He could get used to this.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Btw, I heard somewhere that 'orgasm' in French is literally called 'the little death' (le petit mort). Seemed fitting to use here since they spend most of their time in Orlais, the Thedas 'France' ;) (And did it right after Bull got poisoned with Quiet Death…)


	23. Chapter 23

The next morning found Rush and Helisma facing each other on one of the beds at Gull and Lantern, while Bull, Krem and Stitches stood around the bed, keeping silent watch in case anything went wrong. Rush felt slightly nervous, while the tranquil made opposite her was… perfectly tranquil.

Rush took a deep breath, "Are you ready, Helisma?"

"Yes, Rush." She stated in the same tone she used when she ordered breakfast.

' _Well, at least I got her to stop calling me Knight-Enchanter. Progress, I guess._ ' Rush sighed to herself and mentally steeled herself. She only hoped this will work and it was not some fluke or ritual residue that disrupted the tranquility.

It was an incredible accident, that Rush even so much as thought about pulling Helisma along like an object when she Fade Stepped. It was a quick thought, something she barely thought about, before she grabbed the girl to pull her along the same way she did with her clothes and spirit blade.

Ironically, pulling her spirit blade along when she Fade Stepped was harder than taking the Tranquil with her. Fade truly considered the tranquil objects, not people. Yet once they touched Fade, the ritual was disturbed and their personality came back. Together with their magic, maybe? Still, there was something here, something she did not know. If only she could research it in detail…

She took a deep breath and touched Helisma's hands. Time to see if she can pull the tranquil with her into the Fade gain. She concentrated on the spell, without the need to move forward. There was no need to move physically; she only wanted to get into that state in between here and the raw Fade itself.

The air turned teal and Rush felt the familiar feeling of… weirdness. Here, yet not. Feelings just like hers, but at the same time, so very different. She held them both there, as long as she could until her hands hurt from the way Helisma clutched them in shock.

_Wait. Shock?_

Rush stopped casting and opened her eyes.

Helisma stared at her, desperately clutching her hands as if they were the only thing keeping her together. The look in her eyes was… devastating. A confused blend of raw terror, excitement, fear, joy, panic and who knew what else.

_That's not at all like when she first 'woke' up._

Rush felt her eyes go wide. Did she… overdo it? Could something like that even happen?

It didn't matter at the moment. She pulled the girl… Helisma close and threw her arms around the tranquil's shaking frame. Helisma trembled for a second.

Then she laughed.

Helisma laughed and laughed until she started crying. Choked yells, shouts of excitement and cries of fear all mixed into one, stifled in Rush's arms as Rush held her tight and whispered into her hair, "It's all right, it's all right. Everything will be all right," over and over.

The men standing next to them were tense, but didn't try to interrupt.

Eventually, Helisma's cries quieted down. When there was nothing left but choked sobs, Rush slowly drew back. "Feel better?" she asked with a small, uncertain smile.

Helisma looked up at her with her bloodshot eyes, red from crying and smiled. A huge, happy smile with the force of a thousand suns. "Yes, I… Yes. I  _feel_."

"Good. That's good." Rush released the breath she unconsciously held and smiled back.

"It's as if I felt fifteen years of feelings, all at once." Helisma laughed, and it still held the edge of hysteria in it. "That's right, isn't it? I feel fifteen years, all at once!"

Bull chose that moment to speak up, "Great. How long do you think it will last this time?"

Helisma startled and looked up… and up until her eyes met Bull's. She blinked a couple times, then gave him an uncertain smile. When Bull smiled back at her, she relaxed. Rush had to bite her lip to stop smiling. Yeah, Bull knew just how to present himself so that even a terrified ex-Tranquil mage stayed calm.

Then Helisma actually registered what he said. "W…wait, do you… do you think this will… that I will…" She swallowed and her eyes filled with tears again. "I don't want to be Tranquil again! Please! You can't ask…!"

"Hush, it will be alright," Rush soothed her, but didn't even try to deny it. The sadness in her eyes would have given her away anyway. Helisma started crying again, and it tore at her heart.

Rush closed her eyes and tried to give the girl at least something. "Your reaction right now is stronger, and lasts longer than the previous one did. Maybe this won't be forever, but it's progress. And once you get to live among mages again, they can Fade Step with you any time you need. Who knows, if you time it right and watch your own reactions, you could do it yourself."

Helisma's breathing hitched.

"Do you remember how to Fade Step?" she asked her gently and felt Helisma briefly hesitate, then nod against her shoulder. "Good. We will test and see if you got your magic back as well. If you did, you can do the spell any time you need. With a bit of effort, you may never fall into Tranquility again."

Helisma stayed quiet for a moment, then she laughed in happiness. It went on for a while, until she tired herself out. She lifted her face from Rush's shoulder, completely done in. "And what about… this?" She waved at herself. "I… have no control over myself anymore. Tranquility is awful, but at least I can live like that."

Rush narrowed her eyes in contemplation. "The effects fade gradually, right?" When Helisma nodded, she continued, "Then you will make really short, brief Fade Steps. Use it more often, in short bursts, and you will figure out the right time and strength to do it with, so you can have a normal life." ' _No longer Tranquil, but not in hysterics either'_ , she added silently to herself.

"Not to disturb you girls, but do you feel up to travelling?" Bull asked not unkindly. "We really need to finish this job."

Helisma stared at him for a moment, then nodded, "Yes, of course. I… I'd really like to see my father before the effects dissipate. If they do."

"Your father?" Rush hesitated, but then agreed anyway, "If he doesn't live too far off, we could make a small detour, I guess. Who is your father?"

Helisma looked at her in surprise, then barked with laughter. "You don't know? Of course you don't, he wouldn't admit out loud that he has an illegal mage child. Much less that the child was made tranquil." She snorted bitterly, then looked Rush in the eyes. "My father is Roderick Asignon, the Divine's Chancellor."

"You're shitting us!" Bull shouted in shock. Rush felt the same way. All of them stared at the girl kneeling on the bed and searched her face for any familiar features. They found none.

"I'm really not." She answered mischievously. Then she sobered. "I'm the daughter of Roderick Asignon and Hevara Derington, carrying my mother's name so my father won't be embroiled in scandal and lose his job over the shame of having a child out of wedlock, and with a Chantry Mother no less."

"Wait, Hevara? As in, Mother Hevara of Val Royeaux?" Rush couldn't believe it. The same woman that spent all her time attending soirées had a tranquil daughter? The one Rush protected as a Knight-Enchanter bodyguard? She never would have guessed. Even more incredible was the fact that she had Helisma with Roderick, though it  _did_  explain the coldness of their relationship if their daughter was a mage, and was then made tranquil.

"The one and the same," Helisma nodded with something approaching hatred in her eyes. "The woman who decided that having a tranquil daughter was better for her career than having a mage daughter."

Oh. "Did she… order them to…?" Rush couldn't even finish that sentence.

"Order? No." Helisma smiled bitterly again. "She merely had to mention to her templar 'friends' how terrified she was that a scary demon will tear her poor child apart once she steps foot into the Fade, and I wasn't even allowed to have a Harrowing, since there were such 'great concerns' about my ability to pass the test. I'm sure her recent promotion from Sister to Mother had nothing to do with that. Neither did the way I refused to give up my last name."

That… was some really nasty business. Yet Rush couldn't say she was surprised. Tales like these were unfortunately common at the Circle.

She couldn't help but compare their lives and situations. She knew just how dangerous it was to live at the Circle without a noble relative's protection. It was the same reason she was determined never to meet her own kin again, if she could help it - not after they left her at the Chantry to fend for herself. But at least they didn't press to have her made tranquil. "What about your father? Didn't he fight it?"

Helisma hugged herself and stared down at the bed. "I don't think he knew until after the fact. When he came to visit me and saw the brand on my forehead... I remember how he cried, and I…" She bowed her head. After a moment, she collected herself, "He used to come visit me at the Spire every month. Encouraged me to research animals, since I always loved playing with them, before my magic was discovered. And when the Mage Rebellion started, he gave me the position of a Chantry Archivist's assistant. He kept me safe." She finished in a whisper.

All the Chargers stayed silent to give her a moment. Rush didn't know what to think. All she knew of the Chancellor showed him as an abrasive, rude, hard man. To find out he cared for his daughter all those years, even after she was made tranquil… Despite herself, she felt her opinion of the man rise.

"Then we shall hurry and bring him the good news." Rush smiled for Helisma's sake and stood up. They will make their way back to Val Royeaux and to Roderick.

Rush was really curious how he will react to having his daughter back.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: And this was my personal headcanon about why Roderick seems to hate both mages and templars so much. Having a reason for hatred doesn't make him a good person, but I felt there should be at least some explanation why that man seems to hate everyone. Contempt like that doesn't appear from nowhere - I bet there was a story in there that we never heard.
> 
> If you liked this, please leave a comment :)


	24. Chapter 24

They packed in record time. It might have had something to do with the fact that they really didn't have all that many things to pack. Krem and Stitches spent the way back to the crossroads bickering and making jokes, while Helisma watched them, enraptured, and laughed at every silly thing they did and said as if she never saw anything funnier. That only made them joke harder.

Bull hung back, as did Rush who both watched the countryside and looked around for anything harvestable. After the way a couple weeds she gathered for coin saved Bull's life, she intended to always have her satchel at least half-full.

She spotted some more elfroot and crouched to harvest it properly. She was mildly surprised when Bull joined her.

"Hey, Rush, I wanted to have a private word with you." He started, and the serious look on his face immediately called her attention.

"Yes, Bull?"

"What's your plan?" When she only threw him a confused look, he explained patiently, "The…  _cure_  is magic, right? How do you plan to explain it to the Chancellor?"

Her eyes widened. Damn, she didn't even think of that! She mentally chastised herself. That was exactly the sort of thing that got her sent into the Circle in the first place. She got careless, too confident, and then someone surprised her. Well. Good thing she had a couple excuses always ready. They could serve now as well.

"We could say the Venatori did it. I was not the only mage around." Yup, when there's doubt about your guilt, blame someone else. Ideally someone who can never contradict you. Works every time.

"Will the tranquil agree to that?" Bull asked, still calm, but Rush saw his mind wasn't fully there. Did he have a plan or an idea he didn't share with her?

"She seems to be an all right sort. We could always just ask." She looked him in the eye, curious, but didn't say anything.

"You do that," he replied, still lost in thought and stood back up.

Rush finished harvesting the elfroot and hurried to catch up with the rest of their team. That's when she spotted them.

Rams.

Half a herd from the looks of it. Wild things, living on the open plains and hills of Hinterlands. She suddenly remembered the half-starved refugees back at the Crossroads… and the swearing hunter who lamented that if only he could hunt a couple rams, many people wouldn't starve to death.

She checked the rams again. They looked healthy… and were within the range of her dagger throws, if she put a bit more power into it than usual. Should she…? It was technically poaching, but the refugees were  _starving_. Weren't the nobles supposed to care for their people, and make sure that didn't happen?

Well, if they shirked their duties, she'll make sure that at least the people didn't suffer for it. As a mage, she might have also felt a bit of responsibility for the way the Mage rebellion ruined so many people's lives, logical or not.

She pulled out one of her daggers. Her muscles flooded with power as she threw it with all her might at the most promising looking ram. It hit the beast right in the jugular. The ram fell down with a choked gurgle, dead. The rest of the herd scattered.

The Chargers and Helisma paused and turned to her, questions in their eyes. Helisma clutched Stitches' arm, suddenly nervous.

Rush only shrugged her shoulders. "I think the refugees will enjoy eating a good dinner tonight."

"Only you, Rush," Bull chuckled fondly and walked over to the ram to check it. "Good throw. It died before it hit the ground."

"Thanks," she blushed and looked away. She wondered if there ever will come a time when his compliments would lose their novelty. When she'd become immune to them. Somehow, she hoped such a time will never come.

Bull smirked at her, threw the ram over one massive shoulder, then continued on as if nothing happened. Rush hurried to catch up with the rest of their team.

"Should we start calling you Ram-Enchanter now, your Knighliness?" Krem smirked at her.

She smirked right back. "I think Meat-Bringer is more appropriate, and something the refugees will find much easier to remember. But hey, if you want a title too, the herd ran that way," she gestured towards the mountains.

"We'll leave the titles to you, oh noble lady," Stitches interrupted before Krem could take her up on the offer. When Krem and Rush looked over at him, he subtly nodded towards Helisma, who still looked a bit scared.

Rush personaly thought it was mostly just for show now, considering the way she clung to Stitches' arm… and the doe eyes she threw his way. She suppressed a smirk.

They journeyed on. Maker willing, they'll arrive at the Crossroads within an hour or two. Ii didn't seem that far off now.

As they passed another small herd, Rush threw a smirk at the Chargers lieutenant, "You sure you don't want that title, Your Kremliciousness? Or are the horny goats too fast for you?"

"Oh, you're on,  _Rush_. I'll bring one down, just for you. You're not the only one who has experience with horny animals." He growled at her playfully.

"Hey! That's  _kinky_!" Bull shouted from behind them with a shit-eating grin on his face.

Rush chuckled, "Now you'll definitely have to bring one down,  _lieutenant_. We wouldn't want our Chief to think too deeply about your… hobbies."

Krem just grinned and fixed his eyes on the biggest, meanest looking ram of the herd. Then he readied… his  _warhammer_? Now Rush was really curious how he wanted to bring it down. Bull just kept smirking from where he stood next to her, and the rest of their team waited with batted breath as well.

Krem moved very, very slowly towards the animal, warhammer ready. Rush didn't know how he did it, but the ram didn't even twitch, despite how close Krem got.

Then the winds changed and the ram twitched.

Krem gave up his slow approach and charged at the animal with a roar. The ram stood still for a second, staring at the charging human in shock. Then it turned to flee, but never got the chance.

The moment it turned, Krem gripped his warhammer by the end of its haft, swung it around as he turned and  _threw it_  with all his might at the escaping ram. The warhammer hit it right in the skull and the beast dropped to the ground without so much as a peep. The hammer flew a bit further and struck a nearby rock with a resounding clang.

"You're shitting me!" Rush exclaimed, borrowing one of their Chief's favorite phrases.

Krem just laughed and with one strong move, broke the ram's neck to finish it off properly. He threw it over his own shoulders, picked up his warhammer and rejoined the party with twinkling eyes.

Rush stood there in shock. "That… was  _awesome_!" She gushed, then gushed some more when she noticed Krem's flaming cheeks. "You've just earned yourself a new nickname. Krem: The Ram Crusher. Or better, Krem The Hammer!" Her smirk her wider when she heard him groan at her horrible nicknames. "Just admit it. You're  _A-Class-i_  of your own!"

Now Stitches was groaning too, to both her and Bull's laughter. Even Helisma snorted at their antics.

Only minutes later, they passed another small herd. Bull grinned and went to ready his own axe, but he never got the chance. Helisma let go of Stitches' arm and without any warning, threw two spikes of ice at the running rams. they hit both rams right in the skull, killing them instantly.

Everyone turned to stare at her. She shrugged her shoulder and smirked at them, "What? I didn't cast a spell in ten years. Good to know I haven't lost my aim."

Rush only snorted. Then she looked back at the two dead animals. Bull already carried one, as did Krem, and she could easily carry one as well. But what of the last one? The weight would probably be too much for both Helisma, a mage not used to physical labor, and Stitches, who was a support fighter and concentrated on healing. She could carry both, if she used her powers, but that would be a bit too… obvious.

She cast a sideway glance at Bull. He watched her already, obviously thinking the same thing.

"I'm not a beast of burden," he growled at her playfully.

"No, but you're a beast in the sack, Bull," she smirked at him, eyeing his powerful body. She felt pleasant shivers pass through her when she remembered the previous night.

He barked a laugh, then bowed down to pick up the second ram. "I'll show you a  _beast_  the moment we get back to our tavern."

She paused at those words.  _Our_  tavern. Good to know she was not the only one who considered it an 'almost home'. She shook off the strange mood, and smiled at him, "Can't wait."

The rest of the journey passed quickly. Krem and Rush bickered like old friends while Bull chuckled at their antics… and added his own two coppers to the list of horrible nicknames for their friend. Stitches bore it silently with a long-suffering expression, while Helisma looked on and giggled from behind the safety of his back.

It was a strange party that walked into the small settlement of refugees. One giant horned brute of a Qunari with two dead rams, one slung over each shoulder, two smaller humans each carrying one animal and a mage clutching the arm of a dark skinned man who rolled his eyes whenever his gaze fell on the companions ahead of him.

The refugees watched them hungrily, but none stepped forward to so much as ask where they were carrying their game. Rush felt a stab go through her heart at the hopelessness in their eyes.

The sooner they got the rams to that hunter, the better.

The man saw them approaching, and stood up when he saw they aimed for him. "Nice game," he greeted them the moment they came into earshot. "Any chance you can spare some of that meat for the refugees? Or the entrails, or skins, or…"

"Sure," Bull walked up to him and thew both the rams he carried right in front of him. "Here you go."

The hunter stared up at him in shock, then a spark of anger entered his eyes. "Is this some kind of joke?"

Bull only gave him a charming smile, thought it held a note of sadness in it. Or perhaps it was pity; Rush couldn't tell. "No jokes. We've hunted these down for you." He gestured at the animals, and Rush and Krem added their own rams onto the pile. "Free of charge. Just help the people."

"I…" the hunter stared up at them, shocked. A moment of hesitation, then he all but bowed to them in gratefulness. "Thank you. Too long, these people have gone hungry. It's… good to know there are still good men in this world, ones willing to help those in need."

"Don't thank me. It was this beautiful lady's idea." He nodded his head in her direction and Rush blushed once again. Both at Bull's compliment, and at the grateful look in the hunter's eyes.

The hunter nodded to her, but turned his attention back to Bull. "I never would have thought an Oxman of all people would help. Or a mage." He looked over at Helisma. Rush was proud of herself when she didn't twitch, and even more proud of her team when they didn't so much as glance in her direction.

The hunter continued, "Nobody else tried to help. I guess you Qunari can't all be as bad as people say." He grinned at them, "I'll make sure the people know just who brought them their dinner tonight. If you need a place to sleep or any help, just shout. It's the least we can do for you."

He smiled once more, then turned his full attention to the rams. The Chargers left before he started skinning them.

They decided to leave for Val Royeaux, where they could meet with Roderick immediately. The day was still young, and they will no doubt pass through many other settlements on the road.

The journey back was mostly quiet. A couple crazy apostates and some rogue templars who were dispatched almost as soon as they attacked. Helisma also stopped panicking at the sight of violence and was actually a quiet, orderly team member, once her emotions settled down a bit.

At Rush's urging, she cast Fade Step on herself several times that day. Helisma spent a couple moments mildly panicking at the sensation, then mostly leveled out and they journeyed on. Seemed this 'couple times a day' spell worked out well as the cure if she put some power into it and held it for longer than was normally advisable. While far from a permanent solution, it was more than any Tranquil had before. As it was, Helisma needed nothing more than a 'daily dose' of magic to get her emotions back.

Rush only worried what would happen should Helisma miss a day. Will she become Tranquil again? Worse, will the next Fade Step pull her out of that state safely, or will it have some nasty consequences? The second time Rush disrupted the Tranquility, Helisma was so much worse off than the first time.

As they approached the shining Val Royeaux and passed through its gilded gates, Rush tried to think of a willing mage Helisma could ask to pull her along into a Fade Step.

Ironically, the only one who came to mind… was herself. She silently cursed this damned war that made contacting sane mages incredibly difficult. The only other options seemed to be the Imperial Court Mage, who was no doubt too busy to 'bother' with a tranquil, unless it brought her something politically, or the rest of the Loyalists, who were just as power-hungry and prone to politicking, but less capable.

She didn't want Helisma to go through that. The poor girl has been through enough. No need to use her as a bargaining chip or a curiosity to titillate the court and it's idiotic Game.

If only there were accessible mages not involved in any Games… Mages that the people could contact and ask for help without getting involved in politics.

She sighed. At least Helisma seemed to be doing fine. That had to count for something, right?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I just got back from a day-long conference and didn't have time to read it through again (as I always do before I post a new chapter), so if you notice any weird grammar, please let me know.
> 
> And if you liked it, please review :)


	25. Chapter 25

Rush watched Bull open the door to the Chantry and unconsciously held her breath. It was somehow… wrong, to watch him step inside. Especially since she knew he was a Qunari, no matter how far away he lived from the Qun. At this moment, it almost felt like an  _invasion_.

Or was it?

The Chantry preached love and acceptance of fellow brothers and sisters, of all living creatures. That was supposed to be the founding rule of the Chantry, the ties that bind them all to each other and to the Maker. Yet the people of the Chantry used the Chant for their own selfish purposes, to suppress and punish anyone who didn't agree with them. Hevara and the revelation of her daughter's mutilation for the sole purpose of raising through the Chantry ranks was only the latest example, and not even the worst one Rush has ever heard of. Nor the worst one she's seen.

When beliefs and morals were so easily cast aside if it didn't suit the purposes of the people in power… Did the priests even truly believe? Or did they only use the Chantry to play a political game they wouldn't be able to play otherwise?

Bull, on the other hand, had more love inside him than any person she'd ever met. In a strange fit of fate, he might belong here in this building more than all the other people, the 'believers' currently inside.

She followed him silently, lost in her own thoughts when she heard Roderick's grating voice, "What business do  _you_  have here,  _Qunari_?"

Bull didn't seem fazed at all. He was probably used to that reaction by now. "Good day, Chancellor. I'm the The Iron Bull, leader of the Bull's Chargers mercenary company, the people you asked to find your  _archivist_."

Bull's subtle emphasis on the word 'archivist' had Roderick turn pale. He crossed his arms behind his back and stood straight, but Rush could see the way his mouth tightened around the corners and knew he was nervous.

He cleared his throat and fixed Bull with a disdainful look, but continued much more politely, "And were you successful?"

In response, Bull only stepped aside to let him see Helisma.

She smiled at the man, and greeted in a shaky voice, "Hello, father."

His eyes widened, then he glared up at Bull, "What did you  _do_? Heli… the  _archivist_  is a Tranquil. I don't know how you found out about… If you think I'll be fooled by some…"

Helisma wouldn't let him throw accusations. She took another step closer. "It's me, father. There was… an accident, a spell, and the tranquility was disrupted. I'm back. I'm really, really  _back_."

Rush could see Roderick hesitate. He stared at Helisma as if he couldn't believe this was true. As if he didn't know he'd survive it, if it wasn't. He walked up to Helisma, stared her into the eyes… then he threw his arms around his daughter and sobbed into her shoulder.

Rush smiled gently and leaned against a wall, giving them an illusion of privacy. Let them greet each other properly, for the first time in fifteen years. The rest of the Chargers quietly did the same.

Some time later, Roderick withdrew from Helisma and turned to face Bull. "I thank you for this, Qunari, truly. For giving me my daughter back, in more ways than one." He pulled out a sack of gold. Considerably smaller than their pay from the Storm Coast mission from what Rush could see.

Roderick hesitated, then offered it to Bull, "This is all I can give you as pay. It comes from my personal account, so… But if there's anything else I can do for you…"

Bull didn't reach for the sack at all, and interrupted Roderick before he could finish. "Actually, about that… I have an idea."

Roderick tensed up. He obviously didn't expect a Qunari to have any demands of a Chantry man ready, and probably said that only as part of an empty promise, a vague future 'favor' as was Chantry people's habit. Rush turned curious eyes towards her Chief as well. What surprise did their Chief have in mind this time?

"I want to get permission to recruit mages into my company."

Rush gasped. She felt as if someone punched her in the heart. Her throat closed up and she had to swallow lest she started crying.

If this went through… if this went through, she'd no longer be a fugitive. Even if she couldn't use her real name, even if she couldn't come forward and demand justice for the crimes committed against her, she'd be legally employed as a mage. She wouldn't have to  _hide_.

Roderick stared at Bull. Then he snorted. "Why would you need that? You already have at least one. Isn't that right," he turned towards Rush, "Knight-Enchanter Trevelyan?"

"…"

Oh.

Rush swallowed. So he did remember her after all, but for some reason, wasn't about to call the templars to see her get dragged away to face execution. Probably because he didn't like the templars any more than she did - and considering what they did to his daughter, she found she couldn't blame him for that. But what should she do now? How should she react?

She decided to play innocent, "The Bull's Chargers don't employ apostates, Lord Chancellor."

Roderick's eyes skipped to the daggers strapped at her back, then to the Chargers, no doubt noting their lack of surprise at the revelation of her identity. Or the fact that she was a mage. "I'm sure they don't," he commented dryly.

Before he could continue, Rush decided to throw in her best argument for him to let her keep her freedom, just in case he decided to be a dick after all. She stepped forward, "There is, however, a matter you should be aware of." Seeing that she had Roderick's attention, she continued, "The disruption of Helisma's Tranquility is… temporary. As it stands right now, Helisma can use the Fade Step spell that disrupts its effects herself, but if she for some reason isn't able to manage it, she'll fall back into the emotionless state. With that state comes the loss of magic, so… she wouldn't be able to cast it again. The tranquility would be permanent, unless a mage disrupted it again."

Roderick's eyes widened.

Bull turned back to Roderick and continued without giving him a chance to say anything, "It would be best for everyone involved if people knew where to find trustworthy mages in their time of need, Chancellor. The Bull's Chargers could easily provide skilled services to deal with… arcane matters, if we were able to hire proper mages."

Rush bit the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling. She could almost hear Bull say 'Weird Shit' instead of 'Arcane Matters' in her mind.

They both watched Roderick consider it. Rush could almost hear what he was thinking, as she probably thought the same.

Every time something strange happened, something that required a mage's knowledge and intervention, people sent a request to the Circle, which then sent mages - and templars as their guards - to deal with the issue. That used to be their system, the one every person in Southern Thedas knew and used. But once the Circles fell? Who could the people possibly ask for help? Who could they turn to? The loyalists who stuck around in the open were too busy playing their political games and pandering to the nobles and Chantry clerics to go deal with real problems. Problems like spirit and demon manifestations, weakening veil, bewitchment, possession, mind manipulation and so on.

There were many magic related problems around that  _no one dealt with_ , because everyone was too busy killing each other.

There was no structure left in place to deal with arcane issues, and trying to rebuild the old structure in war climate was all but impossible. Not that most mages would so much as contemplate rebuilding it in the first place.

But… why not use the various mercenary companies to employ mages instead? They'd be paid without any Chantry input or profit, true, but at least the worst issues would be dealt with before the entire world fell apart due to some demon invasion or mass possession of entire villages because of a weak veil.

While far from an ideal situation from the Chantry's point of view, it would be better than what they had now, which was no control whatsoever and a bunch of half-starved, desperate mages running around who might turn to banditry or worse at any given time, just to get proper food in their bellies.

Roderick looked at all of them, then nodded with a sigh. "Very well. I will bring the matter to the Divine's attention and see what she can do. You can expect an answer within a month or so."

Rush breathed a sigh of relief, then raised her face to smile at Bull.

They wrapped up matters quickly after that. The Chargers and Roderick came to an implied agreement that Rush will be the one to come to if Helisma had any problems with prolonging the 'cure', if it could be called that. For their service, Roderick will use all his powers as the Divine's Chancellor to create a Chantry approved contract for Bull's Chargers mercenary company, allowing him to legally hire mages and provide the services Circles usually did in exchange for payment.

Rush barely paid attention to the discussion, though. She was too busy trying not to kiss Bull.

She couldn't wait to get back home to show him her thanks properly.

-rushing-ahead-rushing-ahead-rushing-ahead-

Bull didn't even get the chance to greet his men, before Rush dragged him into his room. Well, maybe  _dragged_  was the wrong word. More like took his hand in her own and gave him a  _scorching_  look. He didn't need Ben Hassrath training to know what she wanted, he thought and followed with an amused chuckle.

This should be good.

The moment the doors closed behind them, she was on him. Wild, passionate kisses as she tried to push him against the wall. This was far different than their first time - this time, she seemed almost out of it and desperate to get closer to him.

 _Well, I can easily deal with_ _ **that**_ , Bull thought fondly and took control.

He flipped them until he was the one on top and Rush was pressed against the wall. She didn't protest or try to take control back. She took hold of his horns, keened approvingly and tried to stand up higher so she could reach his mouth. Bull grabbed her by that beautiful, tight backside of hers and lifted her up. Her legs closed around his waist and then she kissed him for all she was worth.

He let her set the pace of the kiss. Her smaller tongue entering his mouth was a curious feeling. He felt almost  _ravished_. Her panting gasps, moans and the way her thighs trembled around his waist… he felt himself grow hard, and fast. When she growled, actually  _growled_  and bit his lip at his slow response, he moaned too and had to stop himself from ravaging her in return.

One of them had to remain in control. Hurting her during sex was the last thing he wanted to do, after all. Not unless she asked him to. The bite he gave her last time was bad enough as it was.

He freed one of his hands to grasp her by the neck and gently but firmly pin her against the wall. She purred against his mouth but didn't stop kissing him.

One of his hands slipped down to unlace his pants and she briefly let go of his horns to do the same to her own clothing. Wise girl. If those pants weren't off the moment as he was done, they'd be torn to shreds.

He briefly set her down to help her step out of her pants, then watched her try and undo the clasps on her mercenary coat. His own pants already lay pooled around his ankles and a single tug undid the clasp on his harness to let it fall somewhere behind him.

Rush finally got the coat off, but still had her undershirt on. Bull growled in frustration and decided to hell with it, he wasn't going to wait. He grabbed both her wildly fluttering hands in one of his own, much bigger one and pinned her against the wall. She turned her face up to look him in the eye, and the half-shocked, aroused, challenging stare was almost enough to break even his resolve to slow this down. Almost.

He smiled down at her and bowed his head to kiss her again, properly. His tongue entered her mouth, hard and fast, plundering more than kissing. He could feel her tremble under him, the instinctive attempt to even out the field and return the pleasure in kind… and the intent to withdraw from the intensity of their passion. But she didn't. She never did, not once; not even their first time. She relaxed in his hold and let him give her all the pleasure she craved.

He groaned in response and let her feel a bit more of his own needs. He knew she could take it. The first human woman who could take more of  _him_ , without him needing to restrain himself so much. Who could perhaps one day take  _all_  of his passion.

' _Dangerous'_ , he thought. ' _One day, I might forget myself if it continues like this, and then she'll know just how much of an_ _ **Iron Bull**_ _I am._ '

But he refused to let his own insecurities intrude upon this moment. His hand slipped into her half open tunic to caress her breasts. He found her nipples already hard. He swallowed and tried his hardest not to simply raise her by the ass and ram himself inside her. Instead, he continued to tease one nipple between his fingers. His resolve was tested when she raised her right leg to hook around his waist and pressed her naked, hot core against him.

He growled into their kiss and reached lower to test between her legs. He found her wet and more than ready for him. Two fingers slipped inside her, and the initial resistance of her body disappeared instantly. ' _Mages_ ' he thought fondly, ' _I'm really starting to appreciate their tricks._ '

Bull grabbed her by the ass again and held her up so she could set her other leg around his waist. He pressed her against the wall, completely trapping her and heard her moan. ' _Shit, this is so hot,_ ' he bit his lips and settled against her. ' _Rush, my little Rush let's me conquer her completely. Without struggle, without fear._ ' Damn, he had a feeling sex with anyone else won't feel the same again. Not once he had  _this_.

He reached down to align himself, then stared her in the eyes. "Ready?" he asked and was surprised to hear his voice was much…  _gentler_  than he intended.

"Yes! Maker, yes, Bull  _please_!" She clutched his horns as if she was afraid he'd run from her the moment she let him go. As if he ever wanted to leave  _this_  behind.

He pushed inside and watched her eyes all but roll into the back of her head. He grinned, hooked his hands under her knees, spread her wide and  _slammed inside_. Rush threw her head back and screamed in pleasure. He barely gave her enough time to adjust before he moved. Nearly all the way out, a pause, then slam inside again. That got him a deep guttural groan from her. Once he heard that, he couldn't wait any longer. He rammed inside her again and again, as he set a punishing pace.

Bull couldn't stop watching her. The way she threw her head back, the open-mouthed look of shocked ecstasy, the way her eyes would try and meet his, only to close again, as if the sight of him was the greatest thing she'd ever seen and wasn't sure she could stand to watch him. He felt her hands clench and unclench around his horns, then grab his shoulders as he pounded her against the wall.

He felt his orgasm build up fast. Faster than he'd ever felt before, just from watching his Rush's reactions. He quickened his pace even more and Rush started moaning louder. They were getting pretty loud. The slap of skin on skin, the way her back banged against the thin tavern walls, both their moans. If the rest of his men didn't know about them already, which he doubted, they and all the people down in the tavern would know now. They would know Rush was his. That knowledge sent a spike of pure heat through his gut and he growled low in his throat.

When he made a sound so  _animalistic_ , anyone who was not another Qunari would usually withdraw or tense up, no matter how heated or kinky their play was until then. But Rush… Just like the first time, it seemed she only found it more exciting. She bared her throat to him.

Bull drove into her, hard, then closed his teeth over the soft skin of her neck and bit down firmly, but not enough to hurt. ' _Shit, if I ever did that to a Tamassran, she'd cut my balls of'_ , he thought as he sucked on her neck, hard enough to leave a mark. ' _And Rush finds it hot_.' The way he marked his lover as an animal would. Marked her as  _his_.

No one could own another living being, Bull knew that. That didn't stop him from pretending Rush belonged to him only. Strangely, she seemed to find the idea just as arousing as he did. It drove his lust higher than ever before.

One of his hands dropped lower, to touch Rush and the sensitive bundle of nerves right above where their bodies joined. She keened and scratched her nails down his back before sinking them into his skin.

Marking him as he marked her.

That was too much for Bull. He ripped his mouth away from her neck and roared his release. Pulse after pulse of bliss, emptying his seed deep inside her, even as he felt her tremble and clutch tight around him in her own release. It seemed to go on forever.

Once it passed, Bull rested his head on top of hers, panting, and realized with shock that his knees shook from the force of his orgasm.

At least Rush didn't seem to be doing any better. She hung off him like a ragdoll, panting into his chest, twitching around where they were still joined. With regret, Bull pulled out of her and saw his release trickle down her thighs to pool at the floor under their feet. The sight was so incredibly hot, that he wanted to have her again right then and there. Unfortunately, not even he could get it up so soon after such earth shattering pleasure. He had to satisfy himself with a deep inhale of her scent. Then he took a step back to let her stand properly.

His mouth pulled into a well-satisfied grin when he saw her legs shake.

Rush returned his smile, then leaned back into him for one last kiss. "That was amazing." She hesitated for a second, then added in a whisper, "Thank you."

Bull knew she wasn't talking about the sex. He smiled down at her and took her into his arms. Her shaking wasn't just from the force of her orgasm, now, but he let her pretend. "Anytime, Rush," he soothed and kissed her hair. He gave her a couple minutes to calm down and find her balance, in more ways than one, and let himself enjoy their close contact as well.

When she was ready, they parted and bent down to pick their discarded clothes off the floor.

As they dressed, Bull heard Dalish's happy squeal from the tavern's common room. No doubt his men got tired of waiting and told her what he did.

Bull smirked. He hoped Dalish won't try to thank him the same way Rush did. Cute as she might be, he was already in a… He paused.

' _Damn'_.

He was in a relationship. A human relationship, with all that those involved. How the hell did this sneak by him?

He turned to stare at Rush, who was by now dressed in her mercenary coat and waiting for him by the door. When she noticed him staring, she only smiled and returned his stare with a quizzical look of her own. He saw the vivid bruise from their first time… and the darkening skin on the other side of her neck, courtesy of their latest round. She didn't even try to hide it with her scarf, baring her throat for all to see instead.

Bull felt the burn of the scratch marks her nails left on his back. Visible for all to see as well.

He felt claimed.

With mild shock, he realized he didn't mind it at all.

-rushing-ahead-rushing-ahead-rushing-ahead-

_**Next day** _

Bull stared down at the report in his hands.

He just finished writing it, yet it somehow still felt wrong. He read it through one more time to make sure all the details he  _didn't_  write couldn't be somehow deduced from context alone.

Brand new, evil and crazy Venatori cult. Check. Mission to find the Tranquil. Check. Injury, poison and herbal antidote. Check, but… No, too much attention given to the fact that it was herbal medicine and not magic. Made it seem as if he was hiding something.

Which he was.

There was no mention of Roderick's relation to the hostage or that the Redcliffe healer was secretly a mage. He only hoped the shock of discovering the cure for tranquility that he wrote about in detail will persuade them he didn't hide anything important. The cure  _was_  important information, after all. Information that Rush wanted known by anyone who could understand it, and those who couldn't as well, in case they shared it with a mage one day.

His eye skipped over to the bed where she lay in a crumpled heap after another round of lovemaking. For it couldn't be called anything less than lovemaking. Not even in Par Volen had he ever felt anything like this. The tamassrans he slept with respected him, as Qun demanded, some might have even enjoyed him more than they did other men, but… that was it. Respect, perhaps enjoyment of his company.

He never knew sex with someone who  _cared_  felt like that.

Now he finally understood why the Qun forbid forming relationships like this. The need to do things she'd appreciate, even if they weren't what he believed in was incredibly strong. The only thing that stopped him from doing them was the fact that Rush actually liked him as he was, and even if they disagreed, she wouldn't stop liking him. Wouldn't even try to stop him or change his mind, and would accept his decision as her Chief, no matter what it was. She clearly showed that when she played along with his plans to distract the healer instead of answering her question, even if she didn't agree with his decision.

Ironically, that was the thing that persuaded him to not include the information about the healer's magic in his report.

He read through the report once more and checked all the changes he made before he rewrote it. Again. The first report where he kept important secrets from his superiors. First time he truly denied the Qun.

' _Am I Tal-Vashoth?'_

The thought kept circling through his mind for the last couple hours, ever since he decided not to include important pieces of intel in his report.

' _If I am… it really doesn't hurt as much as they said it would.'_

For some strange reason, he only felt relief at the thought of never again having to hurt or betray the confidence of innocents in the name of people he hasn't so much as seen in over ten years. Hasn't loved for more years than he cared to count.

Yet the Qun was worthy of following, he knew that.

Bull had no idea what to do. On one hand, he believed himself to be Tal Vashoth already. On the other, he always served the Qun.  _Always_.

If he didn't count the report in his hands.

He looked over at Rush again. She wouldn't mind if he became Tal Vashoth. In fact, she might even understand a bit of what's going through his head… and his heart should he choose to leave the Qun. He imagined Krem's reaction. Dalish, Rocky, Stitches, Grim, even Skinner. They would all agree with the decision to leave it all behind, he knew that. There really was no good reason  _not_  to leave the Qun, to declare himself Tal Vashoth.

The only thing that stopped him from outright declaring himself was the fear of Ben Hassrath retribution against his men. He knew he could defend himself, but his people were woefully unprepared for the shit Ben Hassrath would throw at them in an attempt to get at him. And he knew they would do it.

He picked up his pen again and took a brand new sheet of paper. Until something pressed him, he will do anything in his power to protect his people. His Chargers. If it meant he had to be  _worse_  than a Tal Vashoth, then so be it. He will betray the Qun, if that's what it took.

His people were worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: And this scene marks the end of this particular 'story-arc'. So, a lot happened... but I think both Bull and Rush will like their new lives :)
> 
> Bull thinks more and more about becoming Tal Vashoth, and, for the first time in his life, doesn't mind the thought as much as he used to. I always thought that the shock of becoming Tal Vashoth was too much in DAI. Too soon, too fast, and he never dealt with it. The only one who actually adressed his issues with the change was ironically Solas (and the Inquisitor, if they flirted with him, or better said, showed they care during the battlements scene). I believe that he needed a bit more time before he left the Qun to get used to the idea. I don't want to just spring it on him - that's what Gatt did, and it hurt Bull too much. It could, and will, happen another way.


	26. Chapter 26

_**Three Months Later** _

Roderick and the Divine's proposition came through and a new official contract was born.

Not exactly the way Bull asked for it though, no. The Divine did one better and after a full month of negotiating and arguing with all the Revered Mothers, Templars and Loyalist Mages, not to mention Seekers and all the nobility of Orlais that felt they had the right to decide these matters as well, the Divine's secretaries hammered out an official, legal document proclaiming it legal and right for any willing and capable mages to find employment or create and own a business and employ themselves.

That was it.

All mages now had the right to work for coin as any other person did, and to be paid for the services they offered without Chantry input, interference, oversight… or fees. That meant mages were actually more accessible to the common man now than ever before. Ordering their services meant ordering only  _their_  services and not paying for some priest's new robes or the templar's endless lyrium supplies.

Rush was certain it was a novel concept not only for the common people, but for mages as well. For the first time in known history, non-Tevinter mages could freely admit to being mages… and get paid for it.

Not that this came without its own set of problems. Many people were screaming their heads off about 'abominations stalking the streets in full daylight' and how 'Thedas was about to become the second Tevinter Imperium', all but expecting mages to pull out some long-hidden chains and enslave the good common folk with their dastardly rituals. But many more were simply too curious about the, until now, forbidden arcane luxuries, which were all but impossible to get, unless one was either extremely rich, or had a very good relationship with the Chantry and its Templars.

Ironically, the mages themselves seemed to have the hardest time adjusting to this new world. ' _How strange it must feel,_ ' Rush thought with a mental snort, ' _to suddenly be responsible for your own needs. To have to earn coin to get food and lodging, like any other person._ ' For many mages, especially the ones who were taken in very young, this was a completely foreign concept.

But it was a  _good_  concept. One that was desperately needed. If the mages wanted to live free, they needed to accept the responsibility that came with freedom. They needed to learn how to take care of their own needs, rather than expect someone else to hand them what they needed, when they needed it simply because that's how it's 'always been'. To always be dependent on someone else and then hate them for your dependency.

Now they finally had a chance to earn their own living through honest - and sometimes not so honest - work.

Not that all mages found jobs among the mercenaries. In fact, only a small number did. The rest became the local village healers, or archivists and scholars in bigger cities. Rush heard from her new friends in the Mage's Collective that the University of Orlais hired more than fifty mages to create and manage their new magical section of the library and offered classes on the arcane and how to protect against its darker sides to anyone willing to attend, mage or not. Many more simply opened their own businesses, selling potions and enchanted items to curious customers. Rush heard that several of the brightest, most talented mages had already had to come to an agreement to slow down with their inventions, lest they overwhelm the 'normal' people with too many new things.

Even most templars, with the exception of a few monsters still stalking the forests and remote villages, seemed to settle down and now only negotiated with the Chantry about reinstating the Circles. The Divine's decision obviously wasn't very popular with them, as they now lacked a purpose. Ironically, to get the coin they needed to feed their lyrium addiction, most found employment in the same mercenary companies that accepted the mages. The various mercenary captains, however, were better at keeping order and infighting down to a minimum; better than the Seekers or Chantry priests ever were. When Rush thought about it, she realized that there were now hundreds of mini-Circles all around Thedas that strangely enough, no one hated.

' _And all this happened because one amazing, badass mercenary captain wanted to do something sweet for his girlfriend,_ ' she laughed to herself and shook her head ruefully.

Sometimes, all it took to change the world was a single act of kindness.

Rush stared down at the single sheet of paper in her hands. Her official contract, employing her at the Bull's Chargers mercenary company. She took it everywhere with her, and refused to let it out of her sight. It only named her as 'Rush', and never once mentioned her name, amusingly enough. Yet it was here and it was  _real_  and Rush had never felt safer. Mostly.

The Chantry still held the leash, though. Not just hers, but of all the mages.

One part of the deal was the 'test' every mage had to go through. First they had to prove they were actually mages with the simplest of spells to remove any charlatans, and then the Chantry made a copy of the contract to keep in their archives, sealed in such a way that no mage or templar would ever be able to pass through their wards. The contracts were only legal, of course, if the mage still worked at their designed position. It let the Chantry know just how many of them there were… and where they were all located.

Rush was sure it will come back to bite them all in the ass someday… but for now, things were fine.

When Roderick recognized her, she spent the next week wondering and worrying some Templar will come to drag her… wherever, to face a trial. Yet now, months later with still no stirrings of rumors about her true identity, she felt she could relax. There truly didn't seem to be any danger because of what happened at the Circle. Not from the now deceased Rylan, not from the Chantry, nor from any random templar tracking her by phylactery which was by now destroyed.

She was finally free.

"Admiring your contract, again, Rush?" Dalish's teasing voice interrupted her musings. She sat down next to Rush at the crates near the Charger's sparing ring and pulled out her own contract.

Despite not truly needing it, as no one aside from the Chargers  _knew_ Dalish was a mage, she decided to get one for herself. Dalish obviously believed that any 'people in power' would be more lenient of a registered mage than an unregistered apostate. And she was not the only one.

Another strange and amusing quirk that came to light after the contract's creation - turned out there were  _way_  more mages than what even the Chantry guessed, living outside its influence as apostates. Apostates who now felt it will be safer to be legally out in the open than wait for some still patrolling templar to accidentally find and execute them as they had the right to do to any  _apostate_.

My, wasn't the Chantry surprised when it counted almost twice as many contracts for employed mages than the number of mages that were kept in Circles before the rebellion? When you took in the fact that many mages died during the rebellion and that not  _all_  the Circle mages registered…

Despite the outcry and attempts to take the 'registered apostates' blood to create phylacteries by some templars and chantry officials, the apostates were now safer as well.

How quickly the world changed.

"Just relaxing on our free day, Dalish," she smiled at the girl and folded the contract to place it securely inside her mercenary coat.

Dalish laughed. "Feels strange, right? A completely normal, free day, after all the crazy jobs lately."

"Admit it, friend, you  _like_  crazy jobs."

The elf smirked in response, "I do. My coin bag does, too. Even Chief seems to be slowly changing his mind about 'the weird ass crap'," Dalish mimicked Bull's deep, booming voice. "Especially since we seem to find so many… interesting facts about the contractors. Now I only have to worry that our free days will seem boring in comparison."

"Boring, you say?" Rush smirked mischievously. A thought entered her mind, one of the less unpleasant memories of the Circle. "Then why don't we spice things up a little bit?" She stood up and Dalish followed suit, curious about what she had planned.

Rush led them back inside the tavern. She aimed straight for Krem, who sat at the back of his chair, sewing supplies on the chair's seat… and several nug plushies safely tucked away under the chair.

"Hey, Krem," she called out and watched the lieutenant's automatic reaction with a smirk.

Krem jumped down from the chair's back, sat on his sewing materials and crossed his legs so that he effectively hid both the plushies under the chair and the sewing materials under his ass. Then he actually took a moment to look around and see who called out to him. He gave the grinning Rush and Dalish an unimpressed look, but still pretended nothing was going on. "Can I help you, girls?"

Rush leaned closer, "Actually, you can. I hoped we could get a couple of your nugs. They are adorable."

Krem blushed and crossed arms over his chest, both uncomfortable and pleased with the praise. Still, he tried to act manly about it - which meant he denied it all, "I don't know what you're talking about."

Rush rolled her eyes, "Oh, take those needles out of your ass, lieutenant. I can see them peeking out from under the chair, you know."

Krem glared at her through his blush, while Dalish had to stifle giggles behind her hand. When Rush simply lifted one eyebrow and dropped her eyes to look at the closest nug peeking out from behind Krem's legs, Krem rolled his eyes and mock lifted his hands in surrender. "All right, all right. But… what would you need them for, anyway?"

Rush smiled at him, "It's a surprise… Come with us, take a couple of them and I'll show you."

Krem pierced her with a suspicious look, then sighed, but Rush could see the smile he tried to hide. "Sure, I'll go. Now I'm curious what you have planned."

Rush took a couple of the nugs and, after a moment of thought, added a couple cabbages from a nearby cart into her bag on her way out. Now both Krem and Dalish stared at her as if they couldn't decide if she was crazy or trying to pull them into some strange mess on their free day.

"Oh, come on, guys. You'll love it," she grinned at them. Her grin widened when they followed her and after a moment, Rocky and Stitches who watched silently until then lifted themselves up from their game of Wicked Grace to join them.

She led the group to the outskirts of the city, to the parts where the elves district started. Somewhere between where the merchants and commoners lived and where the poorer elves (but still more fortunate than the poorest of them) made their home. The place where almost no guards patrolled, despite the rising racial tensions, and no templars or priests ever set foot in. The most 'discreet' place in the city, where no one cared, or at least decided for their own continued health to pretend not to care.

Rush paused before the slightly beaten, wooden statue of Andraste holding a bowl of 'holy flame' - which meant an empty bowl in her outstretched hands. Perfect.

She placed the bag on the ground at her feet and pulled out one of the stitched nugs. Looking at her companion's curious looks, she grinned… and threw the nug high into the air.

All their heads automatically lifted to watch it fly. As it descended, Rush turned her face up with a smirk, then brought two fingers to her forehead and, right as it was about to fall on her head, mind-blasted it high into air again.

The nug flew, and flew… and landed right in Andraste's little bowl.

She turned to face her surprised teammates who now started grinning, and waved her hands dramatically at the nug, "Behold the Holy Nug!" she shouted, grinning.

In that moment, wind blew away the small cloud covering the sky. Beautiful rays of sunlight streamed down at them… and at the nug in Andraste's bowl. As if the Maker's fingers caressed the nug Andraste held out to him.

Rush stared at it in surprise, then turned to face the Chargers. "I didn't do that."

The Chargers lost it and started laughing. Bystanders who watched the whole proceedings covertly joined them only seconds later. In no time at all, the entire square laughed and bowed down to the 'holy nug'.

Krem just covered his eyes with a palm, but Rush could see his shaking shoulders and knew he liked it just as much as the rest. When he finally put his hand down, Rush could see his completely red face and snorted. He gave her an unimpressed look and asked, "What was the point of all that? And why would you even do that?"

Rush grinned, "Because it's fun." Then she went on to explain, "We used to do this at the Circle, too. We'd usually take something no one will notice missing, like a cabbage. Then we'd lean out of the tower's windows and shoot it with mind-blast up into the upper templar quarters that were not accessible to mages. The templars always blamed each other for the 'childish pranks' and started fighting among themselves… and left the mages alone for a while. It had two advantages - we got to practice our precision and skill with the mind blast spell… and we got to make fun of the templars without fear of repercussions." She smirked, "Extra points if you blasted it someplace they wouldn't notice until the cabbage started rotting. That was always fun."

Dalish rolled her eyes at Rush. "That's… kind of mean, but alright. How did you even do that? Doesn't mind blast just, well, blast and rip everything apart?"

Rush smiled and picked up a cabbage, "Usually, you'd be right. But if you concentrate the spell's force into a single point, and cast a small barrier around the object, you can use the spell to throw projectiles instead."

The elf's eyes widened, "So that's why you threw it so high!"

"To give myself time to cast a small barrier around it, yes," Rush agreed, glad to see how quickly the girl caught on. "And I'm going to teach you how to do that, too."

Both mages grinned.

-rushing-ahead-rushing-ahead-rushing-ahead-

"I hope it was worth it, girls," Krem smirked at them, while they picked pieces of cabbage out of their hair on the way back to the tavern.

As fun as it was to watch Dalish try and fail to get the spell combination right, the resulting 'green showers' as Rush fondly called them, were less amusing for the bystanders. Rocky and Stitches quickly excused themselves when pieces of cabbage flew in their direction, and in the end, it was only Krem who remained to 'watch over them in case of trouble'. Rush personally thought he just liked to watch them suffer, as it was the two of them who were all but covered in green goo from blasted cabbages.

"Oh, it definitely was, Kremlicious," Rush grinned back at him. "Especially when Dalish managed to mind blast that one cabbage all the way up on the roof of The Dirty Tankard." Her smirk turned vicious, "You know, the tavern that houses the Sharp Mask mercenaries? The assholes that stole our last job with their pandering to the nobles? The ones who called Bull an Oxman and me his bitch? The men who tried to take Cadash and his jobs away from us? Well, good luck to them trying to get the cabbage down from that roof before it starts to rot. If they even notice it's there…"

Krem stared at her with his mouth open for a second, then burst out laughing. "I knew it! I knew that it wasn't an accident that Dalish managed to cast it right that one time just as we were passing the tavern!" He continued laughing, even as Dalish paused with a piece of cabbage in her hand and stared at them in dismay, "You did that on purpose, didn't you?"

"Wait, does that mean I  _didn't_  manage to cast it right after all?" Dalish asked sadly.

"You just need to strengthen your barrier a bit more, Dalish," Rush tried her best to soothed the girl and placed a comforting hand around her shoulders. "I'm sure you'll get it right next time. I'll help you until you get it right, I promise."

"Yeah, sure," she muttered, staring at the ground. Then she paused, and met Rush's eyes with a smirk, "You know what? For using me like that, you'll have to teach me another, different spell, too. Something I don't know yet."

Rush just laughed, "Sure, Dalish, I'll teach you all you want to know."

Krem just rolled his eyes at them good-naturedly and opened the door to their tavern for them.

"I hope we'll have more free days like this one, Rush. I liked the training." Dalish smiled as she walked in.

Before Rush could reply, though, a young elf at the bar lifted his head in surprise and stood up. "Rinna? Rinna, is that you?" He took a step closer to an equally surprised Dalish.

"Mahanon! What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be with your clan?" She exclaimed and went to hug the boy in greeting.

The boy smiled at her and returned the hug. "My Keeper sent me out to… see the world a little. Look, I even got Vallaslin of my own, and it's just like yours!"

Dalish stared at him in shock. "'See the world'? I… Oh. Oh, dear, if there's anything I can do to help…"

The boy, Mahanon, just looked at her, confused, "I'm to watch and listen, then I'll go back to the Keeper and tell her what's going on in the world. So… if you have anything interesting for us to know… Yeah, sure, you can help, I guess?"

Dalish's shoulders sagged in relief. "So you're not… That's a relief."

"I'm not… what? Rinna, what happened?" Mahanon asked, now looking worried.

Dalish hesitated, then took the boy by the shoulders and led him to the bar, where she ordered them both drinks. Rush wasn't certain if she was welcome, but one look from Dalish and she quietly joined in.

"I'm no longer First to clan Virnehn, Mahanon," Dalish said quietly, but Rush couldn't detect a hint of shame or self-pity in her tone. If nothing else, at least working with the Chargers seemed to have healed whatever pain the separation from her clan caused.

"What?" Mahanon stared at her, aghast. "But… you've always been the First! And you're a talented mage, too! What was Thelhen thinking trying to replace you…"

"He didn't." Dalish interrupted him. "Not at first. He just one day got it into his head to go and summon demons to 'help us take back the Dales'. I… disagreed." Dalish swallowed heavily. "This isn't what the Dalish are about. Not what we're supposed to do. We argued about it and he seemed to listen to what I had to say, but… A week or two later, he brought in another mage, a woman named Mihris, who didn't mind summoning demons. After that, she quickly replaced me as the clan's First while I was… asked to leave."

"But that's…" Mahanon sat there in shock, with no idea how to react.

Dalish only smiled sadly, "They told me I was no longer Dalish since I didn't want to support their 'noble' efforts. I told them they were idiots, that I'm more Dalish then them… and I left."

"That's horrible," Mahanon took one of Dalish, Rinna's, hands into his own and gave her a compassionate look. "If there's anything I can do, just let me know. I'm sure Keeper Istimaethoriel will gladly help you out."

Dalish smiled at him. "Thanks, Mahanon, but I don't really need that. I'm quite happy where I am now. But…" She paused, took a deep breath and stated resolutely, "If Clan Lavellan ever sees Clan Virnehn again, please tell your Keeper to give them a wide berth and don't trade with them. They mess with dangerous magic they can't control. I wouldn't want to see your clan wiped out if Thelhen becomes an abomination."

Mahanon nodded solemnly. Then he asked in a concerned voice, "But what will you do now? If you don't have a clan…"

At that, Dalish simply laughed, "Don't worry about that! I'm fine. More than fine," she smiled, and when she saw Mahanon didn't look persuaded, she explained, "I work as a mercenary now. The Bull's Chargers, that's our company. Our leader is a good man, and I think this job actually suits me better than being a Keeper ever could."

"You're a mercenary, Rinna? But you were always so  _nice_. Are you sure this is what you want to do?"

Here Rush couldn't stand it any longer and chuckled, "You can be a mercenary and still be nice, friend. We simply kick the asses of bad guys who deserve whatever we dish out." When he turned to her in surprise, she smiled at him, "I'm Rush, by the way."

Mahanon stared at her for a second, then he blushed and stuttered out an introduction as well.

Rush couldn't help but think that the boy was very cute, in that puppyish sort of way children were. It made her want to mother him… and also made her wonder why he was out alone, and at such a young age too. He couldn't have been older than eighteen. If his clan truly sent him out to spy, as she surmised from the chat Dalish had with him before, he didn't seem ready for the job.

Bull chose that moment to walk down the stairs from his room. He raised an eyebrow at their small party, no doubt noticing the bits of cabbage Rush and Dalish still didn't manage to pull out of their hair and clothes, and the young unknown elf in the middle of their group.

"Who is this kid? Don't tell me we have another lost mage duckling that wants to join the Chargers," Bull grinned at the elven boy.

"Err, no, Mister Qunari. I'm no… duckling," the kid stuttered defiantly and Rush had to bite her lip to stop a smile. So cute. "I just wanted to talk to my cousin," he turned to look at Dalish.

"Cousin?" Bull lifted an eyebrow at Dalish.

Dalish gave him a small smile, "Not literally. Our clans met often, and 'cousin' is the word we use for people we are close to in clans not our own, who are our brothers and sisters."

"Nice," Bull commented, still looking at the boy. "Welcome, then. I hope you'll have a drink with us before you leave."

Lavellan fidgeted, then turned back to Dalish. "Actually, there is something…"

She looked at the boy with a raised eyebrow, "What is it?"

"There's this group of people, following me. I think. They appear whenever I'm at a place for longer than a day and… they keep… staring at me. I thought that, since you're a mercenary… You could help me, maybe?"

Dalish bit her lip, then turned to Bull with a pleading look.

He smiled gently at her, "If that's what you want. What you do in your free time is your own business, Dalish." Before she could become too jubilant, he added, "Just remember to take someone with you when you go. And to have a backup plan, if anything goes wrong."

Dalish just rolled her eyes, "Yes, Chief."

She turned to Rush, but Rush decided to answer before she could ask. "I don't think that's a good idea."

Dalish raised an eyebrow, "Why not?"

"The stalkers might be mage hunters," she threw a quick glance at Mahanon, dressed as he was in mage robes with his staff proudly on display, "in which case they will expect to fight a mage. Or several mages. You and Mahanon already fill the quota for mages in any fighting party. Take the warriors, or rogues for backup. I'm sure Skinner would love the chance to 'skin' some shems that threaten elves."

Dalish and the elf boy smiled, then Dalish grabbed him by the elbow, "True. I'm going to ask them right away. Thanks!" and led him in the direction of Krem and the rest of the Chargers, where they sat around the table, playing Wicked Grace.

Bull looked at her out of the corner of his eye. "What's the matter, Rush? It's not like you, to waste the chance to  _rush_  into trouble head first."

She chuckled. No matter how many times she heard that joke, it never got old. But she had different plans for now. "I thought that, since the Chargers are out and about, we might do something interesting."

Bull grinned and leaned closer, "What did you have in mind?"

"I thought we might go and train, actually," she deadpanned, completely serious.

"Train?" He looked at her in surprise. After a moment of pause, he continued, "Just what are you planning now, Rush?"

She smiled secretively. ' _Just like Bull to figure out that I'm plotting something,_ ' she thought. "Nothing bad, I promise."

He chuckled and stood up. "All right! Let's see what you've got."

His grin was a bit unsettling, but Rush didn't let it deter her. She was certain he will like her plan.

She turned to go upstairs and prepare, but paused when she heard Bull call after her. She turned to look at him.

He grinned, "By the way, what's with all the cabbage?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: The cabbage scene - shamelessly stolen from all those glorious Skyrim vids. The only proper use for the Telekinesis spell, imo. Come on, people! All this magic and I can't play around with it? Not fair… Eh, mindblast ain't no catapult, but it works just fine ;)


	27. Chapter 27

Rush had the place ready. Well, 'ready' might have been pushing it a bit, but it suited her needs just fine.

Right on the edge of the city, in the poor district Val Royeaux pretended so hard it didn't have. Just an empty warehouse in a half-abandoned district - which meant there was no one around, and if there was someone, they'd pretend very hard they weren't.

Bull gave her back a couple of almost suspicious looks, but still let her lead him. She was grateful for that show of trust. Her plan couldn't have worked without his cooperation.

The inside was thankfully still empty, and sort of clean after she paid a couple elves to make the building presentable. They gave her  _very_  odd looks, but since she paid upfront and in gold, they didn't question her about it.

"All right, then. What's the plan?" Bull asked her when she paused in the middle of the warehouse. He looked around every corner, even though there really wasn't much to see. Even less so in the dim moonlight they could see shining through a hole in the roof. It gave the place an almost sinister look, yet also created intimacy. Rush could work with that.

She smiled and took off the tunic she put on after the bath she insisted on to get the last of the cabbage out of her hair, standing there in just her loose pants and the cloth she used to bind her breasts. "I thought hand-to-hand would be best, actually," she grinned at him. When he looked over at her with a surprised, incredulous chuckle, she continued, "What? Don't think I can win? You underestimate the strength I can push into my muscles, love."

Bull only shook his head, "And you took us  _here_ ," he swept his hand to encompass the entire warehouse, "just for that?"

Her secretive smile didn't put him at ease. "Not  _just_  for that, no." She took a deep breath and turned serious, "I've noticed something in the last couple of months. Something that helps neither of us, and this is my plan to change it."

He lifted an eyebrow, "Something about the two of us, then." He shook his head, exasperated. "You could have just asked, you know."

Rush disagreed. "This isn't something words can solve, Bull…" She took a deep breath and stated firmly, "I need you to stop treating me like a precious flower when we have sex."

"…What?" Bull stared at her as if she told him she was secretly the Queen of Antiva. His lips started to pull into a smirk and she knew he was about to dismiss her concern, or pretend he wasn't doing it, wasn't still  _holding back_  every time he touched her.

She spoke before he could open his mouth, "Don't try to deny it, I know you're doing it. And I'm going to show you that it's not necessary."

He lost his smile and finally took her seriously. One of his hands rose up to rub his eyes. "Shit, Rush, do you even know what you're asking? I could  _hurt_  you."

She shook her head. "No. You won't. I won't break if you get rough. And I will prove that to you." She lifted her hands and assumed a stance similar to what she saw warriors take when they trained. Similar to the one she took when she trained as a Knight Enchanter, even though the style didn't truly require it. She saw him smirk at the mistakes she no doubt made with the stance and  _charged_.

The Fade twisted around her as she ran up to him faster than he could pull his hand up in defense. Her punch took him by surprise and he oofed when it hit him right in the gut.

Bull took a step back from the force of the hit. He stared at Rush in surprise as she stood there, waiting for him to get over the shock. Then he grinned at her, "All right. That's how you want it? Fine by me. Let's fight!"

He took a swing at her, but Rush simply used Face Cloak without so much as moving a muscle. His hand passed right through her. Before he could get over  _that_  surprise, she rematerialized and hit him again.

With a chuckle, he rubbed his smarting arm, and took another swing, this one a lot faster.

This swing was harder to avoid. Bull could be surprisingly fast when he wanted to be. Rush kept her face impassive the whole time, choosing to watch his reactions instead of taunting. Insults wouldn't have worked on Bull anyway.

And that's how it went. Rush got in some really good hits, even though Bull took a lot more cautious approach and she couldn't get past his defense every time after the first couple punches. Yet her speed and spells kept her successfully out of reach with the exception of a few glancing hits, and she could see it was slowly but surely getting to him.

His swings grew more and more powerful. More dangerous. Any hit he made now would break normal human's bones.

She Fade Stepped again and hit him in the side. Bull growled and swung around to smash his fist into her abdomen. But this time, Rush didn't move away, nor did she pull herself into the Fade.

The hit landed square in her stomach. She grunted when it hit her and took several steps back from the force of it.

Rush could see his eye widen in fear as he pulled his hand back as if that could take the punch back as well. Then he froze and stared down at his smarting knuckles… and the way Rush straightened up.

Bull's eye met hers. "That… wasn't a barrier." It wasn't a question.

She decided to answer anyway. "No, it wasn't. That was body manipulation." She smiled, "I've been practicing."

He threw his head back, "Hah! I bet you were." Then his lips pulled into a smirk. "All right, you've persuaded me. Let's see what you can  _actually_  do."

Rush gulped. Despite her bravado, now she wasn't so certain she could actually take Bull's full might when he let go. She shook her head. This wasn't the time for doubts. She closed her hand into a fist… and had to jump aside to avoid Bull's charge.

He wasn't holding back anymore. His hits took on a frightening strength and speed that belied his size. She had her hands full trying to defend herself. It barely left her any time to try and hit him back.

Yet with every hit, every close call, every step back towards the warehouse wall, her smirk grew wider. Bull's movements grew less and less restrained and his eye shone with battle-lust… and once his fingers snagged and tore at her breast-band, his eye filled with  _other_  lust as well.

Their 'dance' turned more and more furious. Before she knew it, Bull pressed her into a corner. She barely had time to notice her back touched the wall when Bull grabbed her by the shoulders and pinned her against the wood. She stood there, panting, and stared up at him with clear challenge in her eyes.

His mouth came crashing down on hers and she greedily rose up to meet the bruising kiss.

Rush tried to lift her hands to grab him by the horns as she used to do when they were in the mood to go against a wall, but Bull growled into her mouth and pinned her harder. She grinned against his lips and opened her mouth to lick him.

Bull took it as a challenge. He growled again and covered her with his whole body, trapping her against the wall. Then his hand slipped lower to tear at the lace holding his pants together. Rush quickly did the same in the tight confines of his body mass and dropped them on the ground together with her underwear, then she deftly stepped out of it.

Not a moment too soon. Bull wasted no time, picked her up to settle her against his waist again. Then he grabbed her under the knees to spread her wide. This time, there was no waiting. No preparation. No mercy. Rush had a brief second to thank the Maker for having the foresight to use some oil on herself during her bath as she used her magic to relax as much as possible.

Bull set the tip against her and slammed inside to the hilt. He moaned breathlessly and rested his face against the wooden wall above her head.

But when he felt Rush tremble and clutch him inside her, some of the fog that clouded his eye cleared, and he looked down at her in concern. "Rush…"

She was just as impatient as him. She growled, " _Move!_ ", set her hands on his wide shoulders and spread her legs around him even wider.

Bull's chuckle turned into a moan when she tightened around him. He grabbed her ass in both hands, pinned her against the wall with his entire body and  _let go._

Hard, brutal thrusts that had his balls slapping against her. Deep growls into her ear as he used his hands to pull her even harder against him. His powerful, muscled body pressing her against the wall. And his lone eye staring down at her in a mixture of lust, love, and wonder… Rush loved every second of it. The wooden wall creaked under the pressure and several dust clouds fell from the remnants of the ceiling. She held on tight and let him pound inside her with all his strength.

When he set his teeth against her shoulder, she threw her head back and thought wildly that she'll be forever grateful to every bigoted Chantry idiot in the world for giving her the incentive to become a Knight-Enchanter, if it brought her and her lover such pleasure. No human body could have handled this punishment without breaking; not without magic. He was so deep that his every thrust touched that special place inside her that made her tighten around him even more, the muscles in her abdomen contracting with pleasure.

She cried out as the orgasm hit her, tightening around Bull with impossible pressure. He bit down, hard, and she felt his teeth pierce the skin of her shoulder. Rush felt him lick at the wound he inflicted, then swallow. All the while, he didn't pause, didn't once lose rhythm of his thrusts.

As soon as her peak passed, Rush relaxed slightly in his hold. Once she felt that he was getting close as well, her lips pulled into an evil smirk. Now came the last part of the plan. Her hands glowed blue, as she pulled magic outward into a healing spell… and pushed it into his already oversensitive body.

Bull ripped his mouth off her shoulder, threw his head back, and  _roared_. The hands clutching her ass tightened her hold with enough force that Rush was certain she'd have bruises despite all her body modifications as Bull shot wave after wave of his seed inside her.

When his orgasm passed, she felt him tremble from the force of it and quickly cast a small barrier over both of them before he slid to his knees, dragging her down with him. Rush heard his wildly beating heart and the tremors that passed through his body and pulled him closer into her embrace, panting just as hard as him from the exertion. One of her hands lifted to start gently caressing his head.

It was a long moment before he lifted his face from her shoulder and stared at her, bewildered, "Damn, Kadan, that was…" He was at a loss for words.

Rush smiled, pulled herself up to give him a gentle kiss and whispered against his lips, "That was what we are like when we put our whole hearts into it, love. That was perfect."

He chuckled and a soft expression fell on his face. He closed his eye, rested his lips against her hair and took a deep breath. "Yeah…" he muttered softly against her. Then she felt him tense up a little, as his gaze fell on her bloodied shoulder, "I've hurt you, though."

She leaned back, and gently took his chin into her hand, "I'm a Knight-Enchanter and a healer. If I didn't want those marks to be there, they wouldn't be."

He chuckled, and Rush felt the tension leave his body.

Unfortunately, the old warehouse wasn't made for long cuddling, or sleepovers. Soon enough, they had to pick themselves up, get dressed and make their way back to their tavern.

The way back was spend in a companionable silence, walking side by side. The night was pleasantly cool, and they both looked dangerous enough that not even the most desperate thief or smuggler tried to attack them. It was perfect…

Until they went around the last corner and came face to face with Dalish and her party of Skinner, Krem and her cousin Mahanon, who thankfully dressed in their spare mercenary coat for this mission. The Chargers seemed just as surprised to see them here. Perhaps even more so.

Krem took one look at them, covered in bruises and bite marks… covered his eyes with his palm and groaned, "I  _don't_  want to know."

Rush exchanged a single look with Bull… and they both started laughing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: And this, my friends, is how I see a sub!Bull. Rush was the one in control here, to technically, that makes Bull the sub, right? Yeeeaaaaah, weeeeell…. Sub!Bull is somehow even more Dom than usual… *awkward smile*.
> 
> Also, thanks to FFN traffic stats, I've noticed that chapter 22 is more popular than other chapters. It has more views and visitors than any of the other chapters, and I wondered why. Then I realized that it's the chapter that has the most fluff – cuddling, kissing, hugging… So I just want you to know: You people are the best :3 Faith in humanity restored, people don't read this fic just for porn. You're the best and I love you all :)


	28. Chapter 28

_**One week later** _

Rush noticed the strange duo the moment she returned from the market. A tall, dark-haired woman in a custom-made Seeker armor and a beardless dwarf in a duster that revealed his very,  _very_  hairy chest. Their equipment looked expensive, and well kept, their posture was straight and purposeful, even if both were obviously uncomfortable to be there.

They didn't look like your usual tavern patrons, nor like people who would seek out the Chargers to help deal with some kind of issue. These two looked like they'd be able to deal with any issues on their own.

So what were they doing here?

She took another step inside, and the seeker lifter her head. Their eyes met, and Rush had the strange feeling that they were waiting for  _her_.

She was not wrong. The seeker's eyes narrowed and she walked up to Rush with full confidence of someone used to giving orders… and for those orders to be obeyed.

"Knight-Enchanter Trevelyan, I presume?" the seeker started without preamble.

Rush froze on spot. Chantry people here, asking for her by name? Did they finally catch up with her? Was she to face a trial… or will they skip right to the execution? Damn. And most of the Chargers were either on a mission or out on personal business. The only one around at this time was usually Bull, back in his room to write his reports… unless he was out to gather more information, in which case she was royally screwed.

Her hand closed in a fist, but she fought to keep her tone pleasant and calm. She briefly considered lying, but she had a feeling that wouldn't help her. These people obviously knew who she was, and were waiting for her at the place she spent most of her time at. This was no accident. "Yes. That's me. May I help you?"

The woman nodded her head in approval of her manners and introduced herself, "I am Seeker Cassandra Pentaghast, the Right Hand of Divine Justinia. There are matters we must discuss with you, privately."

Rush had to fight down her instinct to flee.  _Right Hand of the Divine herself_? Whoever was after her, they sure weren't messing around.

She decided to stall, instead and turned to the dwarf. "And you are…?"

He smirked and gave her a little bow, "Varric Tethras. Rogue, businessman, storyteller… and occasionally, an unwilling prisoner."

At that, the Seeker felt the need to defend herself for some reason. "I have told you, you are not a prisoner,  _Dwarf_. You are a guest, invited to tell your story of the Champion to the Divine herself."

"If I'm not a prisoner, does that mean I can leave?" he looked up at the human with a lifted eyebrow, but obviously didn't have high hopes of success.

"No."

Varric only shook his head sadly, "Are you sure you know what 'keeping a prisoner' means, Seeker? Guests are usually allowed to leave, you know."

Cassandra only grunted in disgust.

Despite the seriousness of the situation, Rush felt her lips twitch in a smile, which the dwarf immediately noticed as he threw a mischievous wink her way.

Cassandra decided not to bother with the dwarf anymore and turned back to Rush, "Do you have any place we can talk privately?"

Well, so much for stalling. Rush hesitated for a second, then nodded and led them up the stairs to her room. Or better said,  _their_  room, the place she shared with Bull. With any luck, he'll be inside and help her out, should things turn rotten.

When she opened the door, she realized with dismay that Bull was out. Just her luck. She was now to 'discuss private affairs' with two strangers, one of them high up in Chantry hierarchy, alone in a room with no way to call for help.

And her day started so well, too.

Rush watched them sit at the table, while she decided to stand. Just in case. The dwarf noticed her reticence immediately, but decided to keep his mouth shut. The only thing he did was give her a commiserating smirk that the Seeker thankfully didn't notice.

Cassandra leaned in and put her hands on the table with confidence. Somehow, her presence filled the room the same way Bull's did when he spoke as their Chief. This woman as dangerous, Rush thought and gulped.

The Seeker pierced her with a hard look, "I want you to come with me to the Conclave at the Temple of Sacred Ashes, and serve as the Mages' representative for the new peace treaties. You will also present the proposition for your Mage Integration program."

That was not what Rush expected. "… _What?_ "

The Seeker frowned. "Chancellor Roderick told us that it was you who proposed the creation of the employment contract for mages. Since you are the emerging mage leader who single-handedly ended the Mage-Templar war by integrating Mages into common people's lives, you will be essential to the Conclave's success. I want you to come with us, and present your proposition to our beloved Divine Justinia, and later to both the mage and templar current leaders." She gave Rush a small smile, "I suggest you gather your best arguments. The templars won't make it easy. But I believe that this Mage Integration program is the best chance for peaceful resolution both sides have. All that your opposition talks about is whether or not to re-instate the Circles. There aren't many who thought on what to do beyond that."

That was  _really_  not what Rush expected. Her mind reeled. She took a moment to find her balance.

Looked like Roderick  _did_  tell the templars where she was after all, yet they weren't interested in arresting her. And that the Chancellor pretended that the contract was  _her_  idea, and not Bull's. But then, she supposed it would be more acceptable to pretend it was the idea of a mage, even an apostate, rather than accept that the war was ended by a Qunari. That would have some  _very_  uncomfortable repercussions for the Divine. Better to pretend it was done by her.

Rush had no problem representing the mages, and trying to get some better deal for the Tranquil. That was not a problem. But… why weren't they dragging her off to face her trial?

"I will go to this Conclave and present the… Mage Integration, of course," Rush nodded to Cassandra. She had a feeling Bull would be glad to have some first-hand information about this development, too. But first, she needed to ask. She took a deep breath, "But what about the price on my head? Won't both the Templars and Mages protest, when their representative is a hunted apostate?"

Cassandra's eyes widened. "You didn't know? Your name was cleared months ago." When she saw that Rush wasn't able to speak from shock, Cassandra continued much more gently, "Lord Seeker Lucius found the diaries and records of our previous Lord Seeker, Lambert. In it, Lambert wrote down his plan to get rid of you to stop your proposition to research the Rite of Tranquility, along with his plan to send a Templar to murder Pharamond, the Tranquil mage who was tasked by the Divine to find a cure for Tranquility. The records also implicated a templar, Rylan, who was to… accuse you of possession and then execute you." Cassandra looked away and Rush felt that Lambert described his plan in much more detail. But no matter, Rylan was dead and she didn't feel the need to revisit old wounds.

Cassandra continued, "Once the plan was revealed, Rylan lost his position in the Templar order, and left for parts unknown."

Rush just shook her head and laughed breathlessly, "Why didn't I hear about my pardon before, then?"

The Seeker looked almost embarrassed. "After Templar Rylan left, we have realized that he has also taken your phylactery. And you have proved to be… a bit too good at hiding. We… couldn't find you."

The dwarf, Varric, couldn't stand it any longer and snorted, then turned his face away to hide his laughter - but his shaking shoulders betrayed him.

It was as if a dam broke. Rush leaned against the wall and laughed and laughed until her sides hurt, ignoring the huffing Seeker with her hands crossed over her chest or the dwarf who joined in her laughter. To think, all these months she had been free, but no one could tell her that, because her rules kept her hidden, despite their simplicity or how often she broke them.

' _Wait until Bull hears about this… Maybe he'll stop making fun of me for always breaking my own rules_.' Rush thought. ' _Also. Roderick - you dick. You could have mentioned I've been pardoned. Just wait until I see you next._ '

-rushing-ahead-rushing-ahead-rushing-ahead-

When Bull heard about strange Chantry folk looking for a mage in  _his_  tavern, the first thought that flashed through his mind was that Roderick talked after all.

He hurried back as fast as he could without arousing suspicion - if his hunch was wrong, he didn't want to give anyone who might be watching a cause to suspect anything. Besides, Rush was a big girl and could take care of herself. Most of the time. But in this case, she might need support if she decided to turn herself in and await her trial… or she might need help hiding the bodies.

Bull could help either way.

The 'Chantry folk' were easy to spot. At least the woman in Seeker armor was. Bull was briefly confused by the dwarf who looked more like a rich and fancy smuggler rather than a Chantry type.

He only hoped the Chantry didn't figure out how to train and deploy actually sneaky spies like the Ben Hassrath. That would be bad for everyone.

None of the newcomers paid him any attention. At least, no attention beyond the usual 'horns-battleaxe-scars' checkup most warriors and fighters gave him when they first saw him. This actually calmed Bull down a bit. They were neither dead, nor smugly drunk, which meant that either Rush wasn't here yet… or this might concern a different matter altogether and she wasn't involved.

He decided to check his room, just in case she was up there and didn't know about the intruders.

His Rush was inside… packing. His heart jumped into his throat. "Rush." Why did he have a feeling she rushed into something dangerous again?

She lifted her head in shock, then smiled at him in welcome, "Hello, love." She looked back at the small bag on the bed, and sighed, "I guess you saw our Chantry guests downstairs?"

"You bet your ass I did. What's going on?" He walked up to her and took her by the shoulders.

One corner of her mouth lifted in a sardonic grin, "Turns out my name has been cleared for months. Nobody just bothered to inform me of that fact. Funny, isn't it?"

It didn't ease his worries one bit, "So what are they doing here?"

Rush sighed again, "They… or better said, the Seeker wants me to go with her to the Conclave. You know, the meeting between the Mages and the Templars at the Temple of Sacred Ashes? Roderick told the Seeker that  _I_  was the one who had the idea to create the contract… And since it changed the Mage's situation completely, and I'm somehow the one to blame, they want me at the negotiations to set the terms."

"And you're going." It was not a question.

"The Seeker didn't exactly  _ask_. I decided to agree before she could force me. At least this way, I have  _some_  control in how I get there. I'd rather be the Chantry people's friend than enemy." She lowered her eyes. "I have until tomorrow morning. Then I have to go."

Bull closed his eye and pulled her into a hug. "Do you actually want to go in there?"

"You know what? I guess I actually do," she muttered into his chest. Bull felt her take a deep breath, inhaling his scent and tightened his hold of her.

She continued calmly, "I can do a lot of good in there. We can set up a system, make everything official. We can put some safeguards in place so mages won't feel pressured to become abominations, nor motivated to try and use Blood Magic. Besides," she added and moved away from his arms, "I have a place there, remember? I'm Knight-Enchanter Evelyn Trevelyan, Senior Enchanter of the Ostwick Circle of Magi. My titles kind of make me a big deal, with or without the contract. And I might also plan to open the topic of the alternate Tranquility cure. No matter what anyone says, Pharamond's plan to stick spirits or demons into Tranquil's skulls is  _not_  a good idea. I hope to give them a better option… and to find someone who can finally research it in detail. I need to go… but I will return here as soon as my business there is over."

Bull thought about her reasons for a moment. They all seemed valid and reasonable. He just… didn't want to let her go. Whether she wanted it or not, she was a trouble magnet. And that place will contain way too many mages and templars. That was a lot of angry people in one place. He had a bad feeling about it.

Suddenly, he realized how much he changed since he accepted her among his Chargers. This worrying… it wasn't him. He used to be so certain of everything. But looking into her eyes, he knew he didn't want his old life back. Things were much more… interesting every since he met her.

If only there was some way he could persuade everyone that having Rush near him… no, with the  _Chargers_ , was the best option. Or maybe he could send someone with her, for her protection and his peace of mind. Or maybe he wanted to…

' _Oh, to hell with it'_ , he thought as he looked her in the eyes. "I love you. Come back soon." What was it humans said? If you love them, let them go, right?

Her eyes gentled. She caressed his cheek and looked into his single eye, "I love you, too. Don't worry, everything will be all right."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Btw, Rush learned about the Asunder 'cure for Tranquility' from her new friends in the Mages Collective. ;) She's been busy these last couple months, and so were they.


	29. Chapter 29

_**One day before Conclave** _

Rush walked into the local tavern at Haven alongside Cassandra and Varric, thirsty after the long journey. She immediately aimed for the bar and ordered ale. 'Heh, the Chargers sure changed me,' she grinned to herself, took a sip.

Varric gladly took a place next to her, while Cassandra towered above them, disapproving of their drinking habits.

"So, when are we to join the 'esteemed leaders' of this rebellion?" Varric asked Cassandra, his own mug half-empty already. Looked like he was more hassled then he wanted to let on.

"Tomorrow. We shall take this day to rest, and join their proceedings with clear heads and rested bodies."

"You expect trouble?" Rush asked the woman, surprised. "I thought you wished this will go peacefully. Isn't that the point of all this?"

Cassandra only sighed, "I do  _wish_  for it to go peacefully, but I am not naive enough to think my wish will come true that easily. We will rest and prepare, in case there is any trouble. Besides, it's not like they will miss us there today. The ones who came early have been arguing and bargaining for several days already. One more day of rest for us won't do any harm."

Rush stared into her drink thoughtfully. "But the Divine is already up there, isn't she?" When Cassandra nodded and looked at her curiously, Rush continued, "I will go up there today. In fact, it's best if I go now. There's something I need to give her."

"Oh? What is it?" Cassandra asked, half-suspicious, half-surprised.

Rush only smiled and explained, "The contract for legal employment of mages was… not as popular among the Chantry and nobility as the Divine must have hoped. There is…  _unrest_ , in certain quarters. And since this decision of hers was partially my fault, I thought…" she reached into her coat and pulled out a single scroll. "I thought a little bit of help won't hurt. This is the list of noble families that the mages managed to help thanks to their contracts. Families that are very grateful that their arcane issues have been resolved. Grateful families that can offer support for the Divine, in case there are any movements against the Most Holy herself."

At Cassandra's widened eyes, Rush's smile grew, yet she tried to keep quiet so as not to let too many people overhear them. "I want to give it to her, ideally today, and in secret, so the templars or her detractors won't see us do it. Let's keep this as last resort, in case it was needed. Also," she added sheepishly, "I might do some discreet scouting while I'm up there. It would be good to know what we're about to face tomorrow."

Cassandra gave her one of her rare smiles, "Better than going in blindly. I agree."

Varric chuckled, "Now, now, Seeker. If we're not careful, we might corrupt you. So much practical thinking is dangerous, After all, we wouldn't the Divine to have  _two Left Hands._ "

Cassandra grunted in disgust, while Rush tried her best to stifle her giggles. To distract herself, she looked around the tavern. One of her eyebrows rose when she spotted a familiar face. She turned back to her companions to excuse herself, but seeing that they were locked in another of their 'little spats', she simply shook her head, exasperated, and walked away. She wondered how long it will take them to notice she was gone.

"Good day, Cadash. I didn't expect to see you here." She greeted one of their more memorable (and returning) customers politely as she pulled a chair and sat at his table, right next to an unknown Qunari woman. "What business do you have at the Conclave?"

The man grinned at her, "Ah, hello there… Rush, was it? One of Bull's men?" At her nod, he added mischievously, "I would have thought you figured it out already. I have full right to be here."

"Do you now…" She took a sip of the drink in her hand and waited for the punchline.

Cadash leaned in conspiratorially, "Indeed. You see, I'm secretly a mage in disguise."

Rush snorted and accidentally sprayed a bit of her ale on the table. She could always count on the dwarf to be weird.

The Chargers have completed a couple jobs for the man and she came to appreciate his humor the few times she was on a team dealing with whatever weirdness he got himself involved in. And my, were his problems weird. From lyrium addicted, glowing brontos almost twice the size of normal ones, to chewed on darkspawn battling hordes of demon possessed surface deepstalkers, he always found himself in the middle of some craziness that needed solving. Kind of reminded her of herself, really.

"And who is this, if you don't mind me asking?" Rush turned towards the silent Qunari.

"This? This is Adaar, my bodyguard," Cadash looked over at his partner and Rush was surprised to see a gentle light enter his eyes. Reminded her a bit of the way Bull sometimes looked at her. Were those two…? No way. How would that even _work?_ But then, to each his own, she didn't have any right to judge. Cadash turned back to Rush and continued, "I was really disappointed when Bull refused to offer some of his men as permanent bodyguards, let me tell you…"

The Qunari woman interrupted him with a smirk. "Thankfully the Valo-Kas have no such restrictions. Cadash here is my new long-term assignment. Not that I'm complaining - who else could possibly pull this guy's ass out of the messes he gets himself involved in?"

"Now, now, I'm sure I could easily deal with my problems myself. I simply prefer to surround myself with your beauty, my dear," he gave the Vashoth a charming smile.

"Careful with that flattery, dwarf, or your beard might catch on fire," Adaar growled at him playfully, but Rush could see the amusement behind her fierce expression. "Still. This is definitely better than guarding some puffed-up 'Enchanter'."

Before they could get too delayed, Rush interrupted their banter. "But, why are you really  _here_ , of all places, Cadash?" Her eyes narrowed, "I hope it's not lyrium trade you're involved in this time."

The dwarf nodded to her, some of his joviality dimming, not even trying to hide it. "It is, of course. The Carta wants to establish a trade supply to one or both sides of this conflict. And if not, then renew their deal with the Chantry. You might not have noticed, but these last few months, we've had a sudden drop in customers."

"Well, people  _are_  at war, technically…"

"Exactly! People should need  _more_  lyrium than ever to fight, right? Yet the demand got really low, and we can't figure out why. Even the employed mages and templars should need more. And now they can even afford it… There's rumors of a secret supplier and a new kind of lyrium that shines red instead of blue, but the Carta just can't trace them to the source. Everyone we sent to investigate either found nothing… or simply vanished. We need to get to the bottom of this, and fast." He ordered another drink and continued, "Our first hint will be found here. Most of the people who need lyrium will be up there. Someone must know something. So I have to get there, too. I just… haven't figured out how I'll get there… yet."

"Templars and Mages making fuss over letting a non-Templar dwarf in?" She asked him sympathetically. Then she got an idea. "You know, I could investigate for you. I'm a mage, and definitely invited to the proceedings. I'll be right in the thick of things, and talk to the leaders themselves. I can keep an eye out for you, if you'd like."

Cadash idly stroked his beard. "Hmm. Yes, that could work." He shrugged his shoulders, "I'll work out the payment details with the Iron Bull or Krem later. In the mean time, find out what you can."

"I will," she promised, finished her drink and stood up. "Sorry to cut this short, friends, but I need to get going. I'll return as soon as the conclave is over." At their nods, she turned and walked out of the tavern…

…only to run straight into another familiar face. " _Lavellan_ , what are you doing here?" She caught the small elf by the shoulder when he looked ready to bolt at the sight of her.

"Hey, Rush! Didn't expect to see you here," the boy offered her a charming smile.

' _You're a hundred years too young to try that on me, sweetheart. The only one who can distract me with his manly charms is Bull,_ ' she thought with an exasperated smile. But at least this time, Mahanon wore a mercenary coat and not his mage robes. Looked like he could learn to be sneakier after all. "Well, here I am. And you?"

"I, ehm, err…" he tried to find an excuse, but when Rush just lifted an eyebrow, his shoulders slumped. Then he looked around carefully to see if anyone listened in on their conversation. When he saw no one paid them any attention, he leaned in to whisper, "I got a letter from our Keeper. She wants to know what will be decided here, in case it involves us somehow." He crossed arms over his chest. "And, you know, since I'm a mage, I technically have a right to be there, too…"

Rush only sighed. "And if the templars and mages decide that all mages have to return to Circles? What are you going to do then?"

Lavellan only shrugged his shoulders, "Then I'll just leave quietly. Nobody needs to know I was even there."

Rush only shook her head and poked holes in his shoddy theory. "Templars are sensitive to magic. You can't hide from them that easily; they'll feel you from several rooms away. And when they catch you, the first thing they'll do is take your blood to create a phylactery. Then, even if you did manage to run, you'll be hunted for the rest of your life. They'll come right to your clan and drag you away to lock you inside one of the Circles. Maybe murder your clan-mates in the process. That is, if they don't just decide to kill you on spot at the Conclave for being an apostate in the first place."

"But I can't go back to the Keeper like this! Without any news at all!" Lavellan looked at her through eyelashes, huge elven eyes pleading.

Rush sighed again, "All right, all right." Before the boy could start celebrating, she added, "You'll stay here. I'm going up there either way, and I plan to pay attention. When I get back, I'll tell you what you and your Keeper need to know."

"But…"

"No." She stemmed any protest, took him by the elbow and dragged him back into the tavern. Lavellan gave up on struggling quickly enough, no doubt secretly glad he won't have to risk life and limb for information that Rush will give him for free.

"Hey, guys, do you mind if this one joins you for a bit?" She asked Cadash who lifted his head in surprise when he saw her back so quickly.

"I don't need a babysitter," Lavellan pouted. "I'm an adult, you know."

Cadash scanned them with his keen eyes, then simply grinned, "Ah, come now, lad. Play a couple hands of Wicked Grace with us." He invited him with wide arms stretched out on welcome.

Lavellan looked at the strange man properly, then at the huge, imposing and no doubt exotic looking Adaar at his side, then back at the armed dwarf with a kind face and hands full of cards and grinned back.

Rush led him closer to the table with a fond smile. "These people are Cadash and Adaar. And, Cadash," she turned to the dwarf, "Don't corrupt him… too much," she winked at them and left with a smile at the sound of their laughter.

Now, just a quick run up to the Temple to give Divine Justinia that document…

-rushing-ahead-rushing-ahead-rushing-ahead-

The explosion rocked his world in more ways than one. A flash of green lightning that surely couldn't come from this world and a wave of dust and debris that almost knocked him off his feet.

As soon as the dust settled over the battlefield, Bull ripped his axe out of the dead Giant. He didn't say a word.

That… thing in the sky was completely unnatural. And it came from the direction of the Conclave. The largest congregation of mages outside of Tevinter.

The place Rush went off to.

If he could feel the blast from  _here_ , what did it do to the people at the center of it?

His men gathered all around him, their faces drawn and tense. The battle against the Venatori was over, but Bull didn't feel as if they won. This force was too weak for one. What was this? A distraction while they plotted the main 'entertainment' elsewhere?

All the way back to their usual haunt, Bull was lost in a haze.

How many hours did he travel? Or was it days? He didn't know. He only woke up once he entered his tavern to sit down heavily in his usual chair at the bar.

"Chief?" came the worried voice of his Lieutenant. His Krem. "That was… that came…"

"From the Conclave. Yes." His shoulders slumped.

"What are we going to do?" Dalish asked in a small voice.

Bull stared at the bar in front of him, eye clouded.

Then he lifted his head with new determination. "There must be people dealing with this. We're going to join them, and find the bastards that caused this. Then we will  _crush_  them." 'For Rush,' he added silently. He doubted the Ben-Hassrath would protest. After all, if some weird shit was happening, they must want to know about it, right?

He went to pack. They will probably not return here for a long, long time. Either the people who were dealing with that green bullshit accepted their help, in which case the Chargers will stay with them, or they won't and the Chargers will investigate on their own. And if there was no one dealing with the explosion, then the Chargers would become the people others will come to. Either way, they were leaving here.

Early on the next morning, he came down the stairs, carrying all that he needed. The rest could be either sold, or will be brought to him once he found a semi-permanent place to stay again. He could trust the tavern owner to do that for him.

What waited for him in the tavern's common room was a surprise, as shocking as it was unwelcome.

"Gatt! What are you doing here? I thought you were still on Seheron!" He greeted the Ben-Hassrath agent, but didn't smile as he would usually do. He doubted he could make a believable attempt in his current mood anyway.

His men stood around anxiously. They might not know the man, but anyone with halfway decent instincts could feel the waves of coldness and ruthlessness the slim elf emanated.

"Hissrad. Long time no see." No smiles on his side either, but then, Bull didn't exactly expect any. What the hell was the agent even doing here?

"Is something the matter? I'm on my way to…"

"Yes. That's why I'm here." Gatt interrupted him and Bull had to stop himself from narrowing his eyes.

"New orders, Hissrad. You are to be re-assigned to Tevinter." 'The other side of the world, as far away from the Conclave as possible' went unsaid.

Bull narrowed his eyes. "Why?"

Gatt's eyebrow twitched. No doubt surprised to hear Bull question his orders, when he never had before. Not when it counted. Not directly. "It is not our place to ask. But, if you have to know, the Ben-Hassrath believe you are too involved. Another agent will be sent to spy on the Inquisition. You are to find out the source of the attacks in Minrathous."

So the people who dealt with all this crap were called the 'Inquisition'. Good to know.

Gatt continued, "You are to infiltrate the various Magister's households and find as much information about them and their operations as you can. Under no circumstances are you to contact the Inquisition forces or any of your former mercenaries…" Gatt stopped himself when he saw Bull's reaction.

Bull started. Former mercenaries? Did Rush survive the blast? But… His eye narrowed.

So that's what this was about.

It wasn't about finding out more about the Magisters or solving the 'end of the world' issues that threatened everyone. The Ben-Hassrath simply felt he was 'too involved'. That he was compromised. They needed to exert their control over him once more. To prove his loyalties to them and to himself.  _Maraas Shokra_. But most of all…

This was about Rush.

"She is one of my men," Bull growled as he decided to cut through the bullshit and get right to the point.

"I know. But such are the orders. You know you can't disobey orders, Hissrad. You'd become  _Tal Vashoth_." When he saw Bull's lack of reaction at that threat, Gatt's eyes widened. He obviously expected Bull to fall in line as soon as he spoke those dreaded words. "You can't be serious! Half the Ben-Hassrath think you've betrayed us already, with how much you shared with her! But I told them I believed in you. I told them you'd  _never_  become Tal Vashoth!"

Meaning he all but challenged the Ben-Hassrath to set up this 'test' to prove his loyalty. Probably was even the one who started the suspicions in the first place. Bull glared.

Was this what his people were truly like? Did they think he wouldn't see the manipulation? Or worse, did they expect him to  _betray_  one of his men for nothing more than some higher-up's dick measuring contest? For their idiotic need to have absolute control over his every thought?

He served them loyally for years. And now that he wanted to have one thing for himself, they wanted to take that away. Take  _her_  away.

Not a chance.

Well, he thought about leaving anyway…

"I'm going to join the Inquisition." Bull stated, his voice firm. He let no hint of fear of becoming a Tal Vashoth show in his body language or his voice. Not a hint of his fear of madness. Neither did he betray the hope that Rush yet lived.

Gatt stared at him as if he'd never seen him before. Then his face scrunched up in anger, but he didn't try to make any further arguments. He must have known they wouldn't have helped. "All these years, Hissrad. And you throw that all away for this? For  _her_?" He paced up and down the tavern in a trained, theatrical manner that was no doubt his final attempt to persuade him.

It didn't work. Gatt's shoulders slumped.

Bull refused to show how much the thought of leaving the Qun still hurt. He made his mind up a long time ago. "You under orders to kill me, Gatt?" The rest of his Chargers fidgeted around them, no doubt making Gatt aware that every single one of them would pull weapons against him, should he try anything.

But the elf only shook his head. "No. The Ben-Hassrath already lost one… agent. They'd rather not lose two."

Not even acknowledging that he was damn good at his job. Had been. But no matter. At least that will make them underestimate him, if they ever met again. He hoped.

Gatt turned away and slinked out of the tavern, no doubt to report to his superiors. Bull watched him go, and wondered if the next time they met, it will be to see Gatt's dead eyes stare up into the sky after he killed the elf. For some reason, Bull found himself hoping never to see the man again.

Krem swallowed next to him. He and the rest of the Chargers watched the exchange in silence, but Bull felt that Krem might have been the one to fully understand what was going on. Rush might have, too, but she wasn't here. "Where to now, Chief?"

Bull shook himself one last time and straightened. "We're going to join the Inquisition."

He and his Chargers walked out of the tavern, and never looked back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: One more chapter left, and then epilogue :)
> 
> Btw, did you like my alternate 'Bull's decision' path? First he had time to think things through. Three months, in fact. And then, it was a decision he made, without any input from any 'Boss', and without sacrificing a hundred innocent lives to freaking 'Vints.


	30. Chapter 30

Cassandra shooed the healer aside and sat down at the edge of Rush's bed. She gently took one of her hands in her own, "Our soldiers found you near the rift - they say you've… walked out of one of them. Do you know what happened?"

Rush lifted her head with great effort, and looked down at her hand. The one Cassandra was holding oh so carefully.

It glowed green.

Her eyes widened in horror, "What… What the hell is  _that_?!"

Cassandra sighed. "We don't know. We thought you might have an idea."

But Rush only shook her head, "I… I don't…" Her head hurt just trying to think about it, "Spiders. Spiders were chasing me. And then, there was a woman. I think."

Cassandra looked at her for a moment without saying a word, then nodded in understanding and stood up. "Can you stand? We are needed at the forward camp."

"Camp? What's going on?" Rush rose from the bed, shaking all over from exertion.

Cassandra hesitated, but then only sighed, "You will see soon enough. It's… easier to show you."

-rushing-ahead-rushing-ahead-rushing-ahead-

"I hear fighting ahead!" Rush called out, blood pumping through her veins from the last skirmishes. Against demons, no less.

"Quickly! We must help them!" Cassandra shouted and picked up her pace.

"Help who?" Rush did her best to keep up with the Seeker.

Cassandra didn't bother to reply and ran up the mountain path to join the fray. Before the fighters came into view, though, the sounds of fighting died off. What was going on? That's when Rush heard the voice she didn't expect to hear at this place.

"All right, people, take a break. We have some time before we can expect another wave of nasties." The voice was met with answering groans and grunts and the clangs of weapons as they fell to the ground.

Rush grinned and jumped down from the ledge to join the group standing near the strange glowing green crystal that… hung in the sky? Must be one of those rifts Cassandra mentioned earlier. She turned back to the people resting around it and greeted, "Why, hello, Cadash, I didn't expect to see you here," she grinned at the man.

Cadash lifted his head and his beard shook as he laughed at seeing her, "A phrase I hear all too often, my dear. But of course I'm here! The weirdest thing to happen this century? I've got to be right in the middle of it." He rested his hands on his knees. Rivulets of sweat ran down his forehead into his beard. "And how are you holding up, Rush?"

"Oh, not bad. I just survived a blast that leveled a mountaintop, and now my hand has a glowing green hole in the middle of it. Perfectly fine otherwise, though."

"…Shit, girl. Your luck is as bad as mine!" The dwarf grinned at her, while his bodyguard, Adaar, muttered darkly under her breath, 'I don't get paid enough for  _this_ ,' her glares sharper than the sword at her side. Lavellan just chuckled from his position on the ground, his staff lying next to him.

Before anyone could continue, however, an elf Rush didn't recognize stepped up to her. "Speaking of glowing green hands, let's see if this will work," he grabbed her hand and stuck it out in the direction of the rift.

Rush felt the foreign power wake up inside her. The… thing on her hand shot out a green beam that connected to the crystal in the sky. She felt the connection flow through her entire body, and somehow knew she could use it, manipulate it the way she wanted. Once she concentrated on it, she could almost hear it ask, 'Open or Close?'. Her eyes narrowed and she concentrated on closing, repairing the sky to how it used to be.

A loud pop of displaced air, some strange green embers and an energy backlash that made her took a step back, and the sky was healed. Almost. At closer inspection, she realized that the veil around where the rift used to be was now… weaker. Weaker, but stable. Good enough for her, for the moment.

She turned back towards the elf. "What did you do?"

He smiled at her and leaned against his staff. A mage then. " _I_  did nothing. The credit is yours."

Rush looked down at her still softly glowing green hand. "I did that? …Huh." Then she clutched her hand into a fist. "So we  _can_  close the rifts, then."

"Good to know. Here I thought we'd be ass deep in demons forever," Varric said as he slung Bianca over his back. He strutted up to her and grinned at her roguishly, "Glad to see you survived."

She nodded to him with a smile of her own, but turned back to the elf.

He smiled again, "My name is Solas, and I will be your guide to all things Fade-related. I'm pleased to see you yet live."

'Sassy,' she thought. 'I like that.'

"He means, 'I kept that mark from killing you while you slept'." Varric added helpfully.

"You know much about the Fade, then?" she cocked her head in curiosity.

"I do. My journeys have allowed me to gain insight far beyond the knowledge of any  _Circle_  mage."

Strange. He seemed very confident with his skills. Too confident. Confidence like this didn't come from travelling on one's own - it had to be validated by others for him to truly believe in what he said. She wondered how many Circle mages he met to make that comparison.

"Solas is an apostate," Cassandra interrupted and Rush could hear the note of disapproval in her voice.

"Oh? He's not employed by your organization?" Rush couldn't help but ask. "Here I thought you'd only allow trusted people near the injured…"

Solas closed the mouth he opened to defend himself, leaned back against his staff cocked his hear in curiosity and watched her defend him… and all mages' rights.

Cassandra seemed briefly wrong-footed by her interruption, but quickly gathered her dignity. "He has offered his help, but no, he does not have a contract with us."

Her eyebrow rose, "So he's employed, you just don't pay him, then?" Maybe it was not the smartest thing to do, provoking the Right Hand of the Divine and a powerful Seeker in the middle of a crisis, but she couldn't help herself. Despite all the recent improvements, people's opinions didn't change that fast. She was determined to call the Seeker's attention to any wasteful, disparaging remarks made of mages who didn't earn them. Especially if the Seeker was the one who made them.

How else will people change their minds, if no one commented on their bigoted opinions?

"Anyways, we'd better move. There's still the Breach to close, after all." Rush commented dryly and watched as all the people lifted themselves off the ground, gathered their weapons and moved to follow  _her_. She sighed internally. Looked like it was up to her to lead them, then.

The entire party made it down the steep, half-burned mountain path, exploring any burned buildings and hidden spots for more demons to kill. Wouldn't do to leave those behind, after all.

"So, what happened up there, anyway?" Varric asked idly when they dispatched another group of shades.

"I don't know. I remember how I walked up the path to join the Conclave… then some green lights, flashes of pain and huge spiders, watching some woman reach down to help me… but nothing more." Rush replied, uneasy at the holes in her memory. Something was missing, and she didn't know what. She was afraid to so much as suspect it was a demon at work. That… would be really unfortunate. And scary. Definitely scary.

"You don't know, then? Huh." Varric hurried up after her. "And you just  _told_  us that. I almost thought you'd spin a story."

"That's what  _you_  would have done," the disapproval in Cassandra's voice was clear as day.

"Well, it's fine as it is, anyways," Varic soothed the Seeker's quickly fraying temper. "At least no one threatened her with a premature execution."

Cassandra only scoffed. "Of course not. Trevelyan is here on my personal invitation as one of the de facto leaders of the new Mage Integration program. Besides, she said she wished to help the Divine, and I believe her. Whatever happened, it was the work of some maleficar and not her fault."

"I… thank you, Seeker." Rush muttered and bowed her head. It was… great, to hear the famous Cassandra Pentaghast herself defend her and her character. "I'm glad you're willing to vouch for me."

"Don't mention it," Cassandra turned away as well with a soft blush on her cheeks.

The group made short work of all the enemies they crossed. Rush thought with a mental smirk, that if Bull decided to hire Cadash and his people, or any of the others here, they would never need an army. No enemy could stand against them.

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Chancelor Roderick lifted his head from his makeshift 'office'. "Ah, Trevelyan. Finally awake I see."

Roderick stationed himself right at the front lines. Rush never saw him as a very courageous man or one capable of fighting, yet here he was, in the middle of a war zone, as close to the fighting as was possible without picking up a sword to involve himself directly. She  _did_  have to fight her way through two fade rifts spitting out demons just to get here…

Whatever people said about the man, he at least took his job seriously.

She smiled wryly, then met the calculating gaze of the hooded red-head and felt shivers go down her spine. For some reason, she had the feeling that being friendly with the Chancellor didn't endear her to this woman.

"Good to see you again, Chancellor. I only wish it was under better circumstances."

Roderick placed his hands on the table with a weary sigh. "Me as well." Then he turned to Cassandra. "Call a retreat, Seeker. Our position here is hopeless." His eyes briefly skipped to the line of bodies at the other end of the bridge.

Cassandra wouldn't be deterred. "We can stop this before it's too late."

Roderick only grew more despondent. "How? You won't survive long enough to reach the Temple, even with all your soldiers."

Rush chose that moment to step in. "Chancellor, we've already fought through demons on our way here without any great difficulties. It seems that this… mark on my hand can actually close the rifts permanently. We have a chance to close the Breach. But we have to do it  _now_. If we wait, it may expand to be too big for anyone to handle." She smiled at the man, "Have hope, Chancellor. Maker willing, we will close it for good before it does any more damage."

Roderick only shook his head, "The resistance is too great. The direct path to the temple is overrun by demons."

In that moment, the red-head spoke, "Maybe the other one isn't. Our forces can charge as a distraction while we go through the mountains."

Cassandra didn't agree. "We lost contact with an entire squad on that path. It's too risky."

The Breach chose that moment to expand a little bit further. The mark on Rush's hand flared bright green and she hissed in pain. All heads turned to look at her.

Cassandra turned to her. "How do  _you_  think we should proceed?"

Rush was a bit surprised that these people would allow her to make that choice, but didn't protest. She had an idea while the others argued, and simply waited for the right moment to propose it. "We should split up. Our party has too many people, and we're tripping over each other in combat." She looked over her party. Seven people - not enough for two parties of four as she was used to, but it will have to do. "I'll go the direct route with you, Solas and Varric, while Cadash, Adaar and Lavellan will take care of… whatever it is that blocks the mountain path. We shall meet at the temple, and face the Breach together. This has to be dealt with. Immediately."

Cassandra nodded her agreement and turned to the hooded red-head. "Leliana, bring everyone left in the valley. Everyone."

Leliana nodded and left to gather the soldiers. Seeker Cassandra turned and marched towards the Breach.

Chancellor Roderick didn't lift his head from his table, but as Rush passed him by, she heard him say his personal version of friendly goodbyes, "Maker watch over his foolish children…"

Rush bit her lip to prevent herself from smiling at the crabby old man's drama. Then she put Roderick and the Chantry politics out of her mind and concentrated on the green hole in the sky.

It was time to close the Breach.

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_**Several days and one attempt to seal the Breach later, in the Haven War Room** _

"That does not change my opinion. The Chantry cannot support some upstart military organization, not without a Divine to declare an exalted march!" Roderick put his hands down on the table, trying to appear intimidating. The rest of the people around the table didn't look very impressed.

Rush saw Cassandra take a deep breath, probably about to say something  _very_  rude and jumped in before the other woman could start. "Please, Lord Chancellor, the Breach threatens us all. We need to find a way to close it for good."

"And find those responsible," Cassandra added and slammed down a book with the Chantry sigil on the cover. This one seemed a bit different than the rest in their little library, though. "We will restart the Inquisition of old, as was our beloved Divine's wish, and we will deal with this madness that swept over our world."

Roderick just threw his hands up in exasperation, "How do you intend to do  _that_ , pray tell?"

Luckily, Rush had an answer prepared. "The Breach is obviously magical, and probably the work of a very powerful maleficar… or maybe a group of them. We will start by checking out these Venatori, the Tevinter cult that goes around kidnapping and murdering Tranquil mages."

The Chancellor narrowed his eyes at the obvious 'hint'. He looked around the table, from one face to the next, meeting all their eyes. Then he rubbed his eyes tiredly. "Oh, very well." Before they could celebrate, though, he added in a salty voice only a lifetime of bitterness could produce, "The Chantry still can't support you. Not openly, not financially. I will make sure the clerics don't fight you too hard… but that is all I can do for you."

None of the people around seemed too pleased, but neither did they add a word. They understood that this was the best deal they could get. If Rush wasn't around, they probably wouldn't even get this much.

Roderick turned on his heel and left the room.

"That went well," Rush commented dryly, staring at the door Roderick closed behind him.

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Cullen rested his hand on the hilt of his sword. "So, where shall we start?"

Josephine lifted her head from the papers. "Mother Giselle requests that the Herald comes to meet with her at the Crossroads in Hinterlands. She says she has important information regarding the most outspoken Chantry clerics and advice on how to deal with them."

"How do we know this isn't some trap?" Rush crossed her arms over her chest. She has met Mother Giselle briefly before, and she did seem a pleasant enough woman, but… these were dangerous times. Both physically and politically.

Leliana crossed her hands behind her back, "My scouts report that she rarely visits Val Royeaux, and doesn't involve herself in politics aside from what is necessary. In fact, she spends most of her time helping the refugees by offering aid and healing. This offer seems to be a true one."

"And I will go with the Herald." Cassandra added in a voice that brooked no argument. "No one will attack you while you are accompanied by the Right Hand of the Divine," she nodded to Rush.

"I believe it is a good idea. The herald should go and meet with Mother Giselle in Hinterlands. We need all the support we can get, especially from the Chantry. It would help no one to have us declared heretics." Josephine inclined her head gracefully towards Rush, "I hope you can persuade Mother Giselle to join us here at Haven, Lady Trevelyan. Official help of a Chantry Mother would be immensely helpful in gaining further allies to our cause."

Rush sighed and scratched the back of her head. "All right then, I will talk to her and try to get her to join us. But…" Her eyes turned hard as she pierced all the Inquisition leaders with an intense look, "…I want you to do a favor for me as well."

Josephine blinked in surprise. This was the first time Rush has made any demands of anyone in the Inquisition, as the diplomat was no doubt well aware. "What favor might that be?"

"I want you to contact my company leader, The Iron Bull of Bull's Chargers. I have already postponed contacting him for too long, as there were more pressing matters to attend to," ' _and because I didn't know if I'll survive them_ ,' she added in her mind. "He needs to know that I'm alive and well."

Josephine opened her mouth to reply but surprisingly, Spymaster Leliana jumped in to interrupt, "That will not be necessary."

Rush narrowed his eyes at her. What was her problem? Was she against Rush for some reason? Because she knew and actually kind of liked the Chancellor, despite the fact he was a bitter old bastard? That was no reason to refuse to help her with such a trivial thing, for Andraste's sake! "Why not? It's not like the Inquisition can't afford to send a single letter."

"Of course not," Leliana nodded. "But I believe the situation will resolve itself once you go to the Hinterlands to meet with Mother Giselle."

Rush narrowed her eyes further but decided not to fight the Spymaster on this one. If the situation didn't 'resolve itself' by the time she met with this Mother Giselle, she will simply take matters into her own hands. And good luck to Leliana's scouts trying to find her, when Rush was half-way across Orlais to see her lover, Cassandra at her side or not.

'We shall see,' Rush nodded to them silently and turned to go and prepare herself for the journey to Hinterlands.


	31. Epilogue and Omake

_**Epilogue** _

Bull sat down with a heavy sigh at the small stone wall near the Crossroads. The road on either side of him was littered with corpses of both apostates and templars; pathetic idiots who were so busy trying to kill each other that they didn't even notice that the world was falling apart around them, the demon army pouring out of the Breach in the sky, or that innocent people died during their fights. Or worse, they noticed, and they just didn't  _care_.

He was glad to use them as a distraction while he waited for the Inquisition agents to arrive. It was better than to sit here, waiting and getting lost in his own dark thoughts. That way insanity lay, and Bull wasn't so sure he'd be able to get through this with a clear head.

Bull's contacts, the ones not directly involved with the Ben Hassrath, informed him of the stirring unrest in Hinterlands, the endless fights between apostates and rogue templars that grew even more brutal after the explosion… and of the Chantry Mother who tried her best to help during all this chaos. Who invited the newly named Herald of Andraste to meet with her at the Crossroads.

"Water, Chief?" Krem asked in a quiet voice from his side.

He took the water skin gratefully and took a long drink, "Thanks."

Krem and the rest of the Chargers were… subdued, since the explosion. Rush and her (no, he refused to name it death), her  _disappearance_  left a mark on them all. But Bull was determined to stick to his plan. They were going to join the inquisition, they were going to catch those bastards who caused this, and they  _will_  make them pay for messing with the Chargers. Whatever it took.

Now the only thing left was for the Inquisition's Herald to show up.

If only his reports weren't so sketchy. One guy said the Herald was some human noble, another that it was either a Carta dwarf or an elven mage. Yet another claimed a proud Vashoth mercenary was at their head, but that was too ridiculous to consider. One of the elves even whispered that the Herald wasn't a single person but a group of four different people, one from each race, who will together lead them all to salvation.

So basically, Bull had no idea who will arrive.

Sudden noise from the mountain path made him look up just in time to see a group of four people arrive. For a single crazy moment, he entertained the notion that the 'group' theory was right after all… when he noticed there were no Vashoth among them. He would be surprised if there were.

And their leader… His eye widened.

Rush smiled sardonically and lifted her hand in greeting. Her palm glowed bright green. "Hey, guys."

Bull threw his head back, and  _laughed_.

\- The End -

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OMAKE

**The 'Ruined' Elven Party**

Taven lifted his head when he noticed their approach. He lifted an eyebrow when he realized who came to visit them here in the Emerald Graves. "Hello, Rush. Nice to meet you again," he smiled the moment he recognized her.

"Good day, Taven," Rush greeted with a friendly smile of her own. It was always nice to meet old friends - especially friends that had useful advoce. She looked around the ancient elven ruins with curiosity. "What is this place?"

Taven went on to explain how important Red Crossing was to his people. Going by the tension in a couple new faces she didn't remember being with Taven's group before, Rush had a feeling the rest of the elves would have protested fiercely at his decision to share so much as the name of this place, if he obviously didn't already know her from before. She wondered if they'd have pulled any info out of the elves, had she not known Taven already. Probably not.

"You know, we could help you out with all…" she waved her hand around at the half-broken Aravels, meager portions of badly cooked food and the still locked ruins, "…this. You have but to ask, friend."

"We would of course be grateful for your help. Especially since we, err," Taven scratched the back of his head and added in a small voice, "We don't know how to get past the ancient elven defenses."

Rush suppressed a smile and turned to Solas. He will probably have an idea on how to open this thing…

( _End result: Taven and his group survive, meet Corypheus' people on their way out and defeat them with Inquisition's help. Everyone's happy, the Dalish have another important piece of their history and nobody died - aside from Red Templars and/or Venatori, but nobody cares about them_.)

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**Where IS the Mage Rebellion?**

"We should gain the mages' assistance in closing the Breach," Josephine looks up from her ever present clipboard to see the reactions of the rest of the Inquisition's leaders. Such as they were.

"Oh? And where should we start looking for them?" Cullen interrupted and Rush was surprised to hear the bitterness in his voice. And… did the commander just glare at her? "The mage rebellion fell apart, as you may have noticed. Most mages found themselves employed by mercenary companies, universities, local villages, or rich nobles from what I know."

"But… what about that group in Redcliffe?" Leliana asked in shock, no doubt wrong-footed by the realization that her information might not be as accurate as she thought.

"Bah, a couple crazy libertarians, lazy layabouts who want to be served and not lift a finger and some apprentices, too young to be of much use in any fight or capable of doing any jobs. No one of importance. Damn, even the Tranquil mages left. The ex-Tranquils just about Fade Walked out of there, too."

No, she wasn't mistaken, he  _was_  glaring at her. "So why can't we contact the mercenary groups? The Chantry does know where the Mages are all employed, thanks to their official contracts, right?"

Josephine shook her head, "I'm afraid it's not that easy, Lady Trevelyan," she contradicted sadly. "The Inquisition cannot currently afford to pay for their services, and we cannot simply ask them to abandon their current positions to help us without any recompense. Trying to pay them would put us in debt for  _years_ , especially without the Chantry support. We already employ as many mages as we can afford. Perhaps that will be enough."

"And perhaps we should look to the Templars at Therinfal for help, if we're not sure," Cullen interjected stoically.

Rush only lifted an eyebrow, "The  _Templars_  are that much more organized? I was under the impression that they have found employment as well."

"True," Cullen agreed with a sigh. "But only a few of them did compared to the mages. While powerful, templar abilities only give them true advantage over mages and magic, not much else. If we don't fight mages, we are nothing more than warriors. Mercenary companies and city guard already have more than enough of those, so I imagine the demand for their skills isn't that high. We'd get more help against the Breach among the templars, trust me."

The leaders bickered for a couple more minutes, before Rush just sighed and stood up. "Very well. Since the Mages are so hard to reach, we will go and court the templar's favor. Leliana, please send the Trio to Redcliffe and have Lavellan bring the apprentices here, to Haven. Any mage can help, even if we taught them only a single spell. They'll be better off with us. Josephine, please gather the Inquisition's noble allies. I… will go and try to persuade the Templars to help us."

She turned to go and muttered under her breath, hoping none of them will hear her. "Let's just hope Rylan didn't have too many friends among these particular 'righteous knights'…"

( _And that's how Rush accidentally dismantled both the Templar's and the Mage's Rebellion. It might have also pulled the rug out from under Corypheus, since his plot with the templars failed and there were pretty much no capable mages ready to fight and become Venatori conscripts either. On the other hand, there were way too few oculara around to find all the necessary shards to unlock the Temple of Pride, but then, Rush didn't really consider that a drawback… Since it meant there were also a lot less dead Tranquil mages. Also, I like Ser Barris, and it kills me every time I have to go and help the mages, that I have to leave him to the horrible fate of becoming a Red Templar monster.._.)

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**A Different Inquisition (alias Useful Agents are Useful)**

Cadash fell into the chair at Haven's tavern, while Adaar threw herself down next to him and all but went to sleep right on the floor. Lavellan didn't seem much better but was still too high up on adrenalin from their journey to sit around, so he went to fetch them drinks.

Rush lifted surprised eyes at them from where she leaned against Bull during her precious moment of free time. "Ah, you're back! So, how did your trip to the Emprise du Lion go?"

Adaar lifted her head an inch, glared at Rush, and said one word: "Ugh." Then laid her head back down and closed her eyes.

Rush grinned. "That bad?"

Cadash groaned, "You know how I wanted to find the illegal lyrium supplier? Well, your spymaster's tip was right. We've found them. Red Templars poisoning people, trying to turn giants into red lyrium monsters and a huge-ass fucking Demon controlling them from behind the scenes."

"What?" she asked incredulously and straightened up to give him her full attention.

"Red Lyrium templars bought a mine in the Highlands from some idiotic noble, and employed locals to work for them. Then they poisoned the water supply with Red Lyrium for some reason. Over thirty people dead, several more caught the Blight. I've already given your Commander all the documents we're found in the mine. Maybe he can make sense of why they did that." Cadash sighed and shook his head. "After that, we've had to fight our way through a Giant with red lyrium sticking out of his back, more Red Templars than I can count and a fucking Demon who tried his best to mess with our heads and offer us some shitty deal so we'd let him go. Didn't work out too well for him. It. But hey, good news, too - you now got the super-famous disgraced Michel de Chevin as an Inquisition Agent. Your leaders are already arguing on how best to use him."

Rush stayed silent for a second, trying to absorb it all. Then she shook her head, "Only you, Cadash. Only you…" struggling not to laugh at his disgruntled expression.

The man just sighed. "Yeah. My job is weird. I should have been a nug farmer."

( _End Result: 50 people dead, instead of 50 people LEFT in the entire Highlands… Because that part of DAI always bothered me; the Inquisition arrived way too late, but still congratulated itself on a job well done, despite the corpse littered ground and 2% chance of getting all the Red Lyrium out, even with digging… If only some talented, enterprising group of adventurers checked it out sooner, right? After all, the level cap is only there to prevent you from going there too soon, so it will fit DAI timeline… And I so enjoy messing with DAI timeline.)_

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**What happened at the Conclave?**

Rush rushed into the room. "What's going on here?!"

 _BOOM_.

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**Surprises**

Rush walked up to Bull at the tavern, happily drinking with the Chargers and a couple unfortunate soldiers he roped into another one of his drinking contests. She smirked; those guys will regret their decision in the morning. Cullen will no doubt ride their asses extra hard, for drinking to excess.

…But that was not why she was there.

She sat very,  _very_  close to him, and leaned in, "Hey, Bull. Do you have some… free time?" This will be the first time they had time to be together since the Conclave blew up. She couldn't wait to have him again, she thought with a smile.

"Sure,  _Boss_. For you, always."

Boss?

That gave her a pause. ' _Wait a moment_ …' The smile froze on her face. Well, she was sort of the one in command now, but… did that mean he will… they… Her eyes widened as she stared at him in shock.

Bull met her eyes with his own…

…and sent her an evil grin.

\- The End -

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: 175 pages. 80k words. My longest work yet :)
> 
> For those who are wondering: I have no plans for a sequel right now, even though I do have several more ideas how this could go. As it stands now, this is it – the entire work.
> 
> I hope you liked it. If you did, please leave a comment. I love to hear from you :)


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